Sunday, January 22, 2012

Guest Post


Hi everybody! It's me again ... you know ... Nessa. I'm the dog that lives with Bilbo and Agnes. Bilbo is busy getting ready to go and visit his grandchildren later this morning, so I thought I'd give him a break and do today's post for him. I guess that makes me a service dog, huh?

Anyhow, I was surfing the net while Bilbo and Agnes were out yesterday and found this:

Oh, you don't know the half of it!

Bilbo is the one who usually takes me for walks, and he talks up a blue streak the whole way. I think he likes to use me as a sounding board for his ideas and frustrations. I know who he likes and who he doesn't. I know the names of everyone on the list of people he calls "bottled-in-bond, aged-in-wood, gold-plated, certified, documented, first-class, card-carrying, USDA-approved ass clowns" (sometimes he refers to some of them collectively as "Congress," but there are a lot of others on the list, too). I know the plots of the stories he'd like to write and the things he wants to write about in his blog. I know his complaints about the bus he rides to and from work (most of the drivers seem to be ass clowns who can't keep to the schedule, don't know the route, and sometimes leave him standing at the curb as they drive by, especially if it's cold and raining or snowing). I know all the cute things his grandchildren do (which is important because I don't get to see them very often). He wants my opinion of the things he'd like to buy for Agnes for special occasions, and asks me to remind him of things he has to remember.

There's lots of other stuff he tells me, too, but I'm Bilbo's dog through and through, and there are some things that just have to remain between us. I'm not one of those lick-and-tell dogs. A Jack Russell terrier would probably tell you everything he ever said ... but he'd shout it all out so fast you'd never understand it all, anyway.

We dogs have a lot of important jobs. We protect our families, play with their children, provide unconditional love, and generally help get them through what can be a tough life. And we don't ask for much ... keep the supper dish and the water bowl full, throw the frisbee or tennis ball a few times, take us for walks, and we're happy.

And you can talk to us any time. You can talk to one of those psychiatrist people, too, but they want a lot of money for what we give you for free. And we can lay on the couch with you and nobody will think you're weird.

So go ahead and talk to us. We're ready to listen.

And your secrets are safe with us.

Have a good day. Bilbo will be back tomorrow with more thoughts.

Woof!

Nessa

6 comments:

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Someday I will get a dog, maybe a Jack Russell, to join Bubba the Cat. I'm glad that pets have a nondisclosure policy,

Pep said...

I know my secrets are safe with the Golden and the Lab, but I know the cat's gonna rat me out one of these days.

Mike said...

Nessa, hang in there. He needs you.

Wv: abeness - how much you're like Lincoln.

John said...

Maybe I need to get a dog ...

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Dogs, like beauticians, are always good listeners. And in general they agree with what you say. Hang in there, Nessa!!!!!!

Banana Oil said...

Nessa looks so sweet!