Thursday, August 23, 2012

Flying Wedgie

A flying wedge is a military formation in which an attacking force deploys in a fast-moving triangular formation, with the point toward the enemy. This allows the concentration of force in a small area to punch through an opposing line, with a larger body of forces coming behind to exploit the breach. A similar formation is sometimes used by police for riot control, and on the football field for maximum power to drive through the opposing defense. Here is a picture of a flying wedge ...

But there is another type of flying wedge, Dear Readers ... and it is you.

Consider this article I ran across yesterday on CNN: JetBlue, WestJet Shrink Legroom for Coach Seats.* Yes, you are the long-suffering flyer getting the flying wedgie a seat that is already uncomfortably tight, and will soon be smaller and tighter than ever. According to the article, the two airlines are reducing the legroom available in some nonpremium** seats in order to increase legroom for seats in higher-priced sections of their aircraft. A spokesdrone for JetBlue cited in the article said that the change could mean an additional $150 million in revenue for the airline this year.

Yes, friends, your seat may be expensive, but at least it's been ergonomically designed by the distinguished firm of Torquemada and Sons. You will certainly want to confess to something as your nose is smashed by the fellow in the seat ahead of you who reclines his seat into your face at high speed ... your face being now at least an inch closer to that seat. But look at the bright side: you won't need to buy high-end noise-canceling headphones to cut down on the racket ... your knees will cover your ears to shut out unwanted noise.

You've been nickeled and dimed, patted down, x-rayed, sniffed, gouged, and interrogated ... and that's just to get to the door of the aircraft. Now, you also get to be stuffed into a seat that is more uncomfortable than ever ... AND you get to pay more for it!

Welcome to the new world of airline service.

Have a good day. Take a train. More thoughts tomorrow.


* They're already shrinking everything they can ... they've even taken out the space between the words in their names.

** That's airline-speak for "relatively affordable."


eViL pOp TaRt said...

Jet Blue is the airline that left planes filled with passengers on the runway for hours on end. It's as bad as Delta!

I love the fishie cartoon.

What next? A flying atomic wedgie?

Duckbutt said...

So a cross-country flight will get even more uncomfortable than it is now!

Big Sky Heidi said...

Sadly, taking a train is not an option for most of the country. Or even riding the bus!

Mike said...

'..soon be smaller and tighter..'

That's physically impossible.