Temporarily Closed

Well, hello! Nice to see you, as always.

I'm taking a break from posting today, as Agnes and I are enjoying the sand, sea, broiling sun, and legions of tiny insects at Chincoteague Island, and I have other things to do than post the blog. You know I love you, Dear Readers, but time spent with the grandchildren will always take priority over you*.

But don't despair! Tomorrow's post, in which the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for this month will be announced, has already been written and will appear in this space on schedule tomorrow morning. Be sure to come by and be either entertained or enraged, depending on your political persuasion.

Have a good day. Regular posts will resume tomorrow.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* I originally wrote "...will always trump you," but couldn't bear to write that word unnecessarily.

On the Road Again!

Bilbo's Random Thought Collection will be on vacation for a few weeks beginning today. I have already written the Friday (Great Moments in Editing and Signage and Ass Clown Awards), Cartoon Saturday, and Sunday (Musical and Poetry) posts, which will automatically publish while I'm away, and I will also try to post from time to time as my schedule and access to the Internet permit.

Regular daily posts will resume around the middle of March.

Have a good day, enjoy the Friday-through-Sunday posts, and don't give up on ol' Bilbo. There will be plenty more thoughts coming after a break to reboot my brain.

Bilbo

Papers, Please.

You may have noticed this interesting article on CNN the other day: World's Best and Worst Passports Revealed. If you're planning to travel outside the United States (or to increasingly foreign areas like Texas), it's worth taking a few minutes to read.

A passport, as you probably know, is a government-issued document that certifies your identity and nationality and allows you to travel between countries. And it's also a useful thing to have at election time, as states crack down on an imagined tidal wave of voting fraud by insisting that you be able to prove not only your identity (for which a driver's license usually suffices, assuming you drive), but your citizenship as well. If  you don't have a passport, and especially if you are not white and have stars and stripes shooting out of every orifice, it would be a good idea to spend the $110 and get one issued, especially if the GOP prevails in the upcoming election.

But I digress.

It seems that not all passports are created equal. For maximum travel flexibility, it seems that a German passport - which allows visa-free travel to 177 of the world's 218 countries - is the one to have, assuming you are a German, of course. A good old blue US passport gives you visa-free access to only 174 countries, and is in fourth place on the desirability list, tied with the passports of Denmark, Belgium, and the Netherlands. At the other end of the scale, the least desirable passport to hold is from Afghanistan, which allows travel to only 25 countries, most of which you probably wouldn't want to visit, anyhow. Only slightly better are passports from Pakistan, Syria, and Somalia (29 countries) ... of course, Syrians and Somalis in particular don't bother with passports lately, and simply swarm to wherever they can reach and claim refugee status.

You can check out the entire list on the Henley and Partners Visa Restrictions Index for 2016. The full Henley and Partners website also provides useful information on applying for residency or citizenship in numerous other countries, which you may find of particular interest depending on your view of the outcome of the upcoming election.

So start stocking up on identification, make sure it has your picture on it, and make sure your state will accept it as valid ID when you show up to vote. We certainly don't want to have the wrong sort of people voting, do we?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Great Moments in Editing makes its first appearance in March.

Bilbo

What We Can Learn from the Rest of the World

My 23 years of service in the Air Force gave me something that most Americans don't have: the opportunity to travel widely and experience life in countries other than my own. I think we'd be a lot better off in many ways if more Americans would travel and experience life in other countries, rather than trusting in the silly cliches and false comparisons that are the bread and butter of modern commentary.

I found this interesting article by Alex Henderson on Alternet a while ago, which pretty much summarizes a lot of my observations about my fellow countrymen: Nine Things Many Americans Just Don’t Grasp (Compared to the Rest of the World). I don't agree with all the points Mr Henderson makes, but for the most part I think he's right on point. Here are three of his nine things (with my comments, of course):

American Exceptionalism Is Absolute Nonsense in 2015. This is the one that will make heads explode on the far right, but it's truer than we probably want to admit. I don't think that "absolute nonsense" is a fair characterization, but the simple fact is that we're not living up to what we say are our ideals, and we're not nearly as exceptional as we like to think. By many social and economic measures (life expectancy, rates of incarceration as a percentage of the population, and availability of affordable health care to name a few), we're falling behind much of the rest of the world. We may still lead the world in some things, but in many of the ones that matter, we're backsliding.

Adequate Mass Transit Is a Huge Convenience. I learned to love buses and trains while living in Germany, and am lucky to live in a metro area that has relatively adequate mass transit (by which I mean, it's fairly convenient and gets me most places I need/want to go). As the article points out, mass transit has a lot of advantages, such as reducing air pollution, traffic congestion, and DUIs, and providing the aerobic exercise that goes with living in a pedestrian-friendly environment. Here in America, we've replaced trees and flowers with millions of acres of concrete to accommodate our car-obsessed culture ... and I never cease to be amazed by the people who will sit idling for minutes in their car to get just the right parking space, instead of parking a bit further away and walking.

Learning a Second or Third Language Is a Plus, Not a Character Flaw. Most Americans figure that everyone who matters speaks English, and so there's no reason to go to the trouble of learning another language. And consider this quote from the article:

"... xenophobia runs so deep among many neocons, Republicans and Tea Party wingnuts that any use of a language other than English terrifies them. Barack Obama, during his 2008 campaign, was bombarded with hateful responses from Republicans when he recommended that Americans study foreign languages from an early age. And in the 2012 GOP presidential primary, Newt Gingrich’s campaign ran an ad in South Carolina attacking Mitt Romney for being proficient in French."

In most countries (well, perhaps not in France), fluency in multiple languages is considered a social asset and a big advantage in business. I can tell you that speaking German been a big advantage in traveling and enjoying my time in Europe ... how did we as a major country go so far off the linguistic rails?

Yes, there are lessons we can learn from other countries, if we're willing to do it. Perhaps we should start now.

Ich wuensche Euch einen schoenen Tag. Andere Bemerkungen folgen nachher.

Bilbo

They're Back!!

Yes, Dear Readers, we are back from our European adventure!

Today's post is just to let you know we made it back all right; tomorrow's post will begin the detailed report on our trip - with pictures, of course. This morning I have to go back to work, where I will manfully try to remember my name, what day it is, and where I am, and by this afternoon or tomorrow morning, I should be well enough recovered to again post coherently. Or as coherently as I ever do.

Dorothy was right - there's no place like home (clicks heels three times in classic Prussian fashion).

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Vacation!!!

Yes, the day has finally come for Agnes and I to take our long-anticipated and much-needed vacation. We are headed for Germany to visit our son and his family and Agnes's parents and other relatives, attend the wedding of Agnes's nephew, and generally travel all over the country enriching the coffers of the Deutsche Bahn.

What this means for you, Dear Readers, is that this blog will be posted only intermittently for the next three weeks, because we will not always have Internet access. I'll post when I can, but can't promise regular editions of Cartoon Saturday (my last experience with trusting Blogger to load scheduled posts didn't work out). Sorry about that. Just think how much better you'll feel when we get back and I get back on my regular posting schedule!

For now, how about a couple of travel related cartoons?

It will come as no surprise to you that air travel isn't as much fun as it used to be ...

I looked long and hard for these, but couldn't find them anywhere ...

If you've ever gone through the experience of trying to find the best travel bargain online, you'll appreciate this one ...

Of course, using a real travel agent doesn't always work out, either ...

And finally, some seasoned travelers just can't resist the urge to show off ...

This has nothing to do with travel, but I thought it was very funny - the "Honest Trailers" take on advertising for the last Star Trek film (sorry about the leading advertisement - I wish I knew how to get rid of that stuff) ...

And so, Dear Readers, we're off. Take good care of yourselves, and don't give up on ol' Bilbo even if the posts are not coming as often as usual over the next few weeks ... I'll be back.

Have a good day. More thoughts when we get a good Internet connection.

Bilbo

And They're Off!

Yes, Dear Readers, the time has come for Agnes and I to depart on our long-awaited, long-overdue, and very much needed vacation. We will be away from regular Internet connectivity for the next few weeks, and so - except for the next two Cartoon Saturdays which have already been prepared and scheduled to publish - Bilbo's Random Thought Collection will be offline.

As a parting gift, here are a few choice cartoons about vacations ...

There are vacations for cowboys ...

And shepherds ...

And grouchy CEOs ...

Even God needs a break once in a while ... especially now, when so many crazy people are doing terrible things in his (or her) name ...

Congress takes vacations, too ... but you have to wonder what they do to earn them ...

And finally, there are cheaper alternatives to the traditional vacation ... but they probably aren't quite as satisfying ...

I may be able to post occasionally, but don't count on it. I'll be back with you for sure on October 5th. Be here!

Have a good day and a great couple of weeks. More thoughts when I get back.

Bilbo

Flying Wedgie

A flying wedge is a military formation in which an attacking force deploys in a fast-moving triangular formation, with the point toward the enemy. This allows the concentration of force in a small area to punch through an opposing line, with a larger body of forces coming behind to exploit the breach. A similar formation is sometimes used by police for riot control, and on the football field for maximum power to drive through the opposing defense. Here is a picture of a flying wedge ...

But there is another type of flying wedge, Dear Readers ... and it is you.

Consider this article I ran across yesterday on CNN: JetBlue, WestJet Shrink Legroom for Coach Seats.* Yes, you are the long-suffering flyer getting the flying wedgie a seat that is already uncomfortably tight, and will soon be smaller and tighter than ever. According to the article, the two airlines are reducing the legroom available in some nonpremium** seats in order to increase legroom for seats in higher-priced sections of their aircraft. A spokesdrone for JetBlue cited in the article said that the change could mean an additional $150 million in revenue for the airline this year.

Yes, friends, your seat may be expensive, but at least it's been ergonomically designed by the distinguished firm of Torquemada and Sons. You will certainly want to confess to something as your nose is smashed by the fellow in the seat ahead of you who reclines his seat into your face at high speed ... your face being now at least an inch closer to that seat. But look at the bright side: you won't need to buy high-end noise-canceling headphones to cut down on the racket ... your knees will cover your ears to shut out unwanted noise.

You've been nickeled and dimed, patted down, x-rayed, sniffed, gouged, and interrogated ... and that's just to get to the door of the aircraft. Now, you also get to be stuffed into a seat that is more uncomfortable than ever ... AND you get to pay more for it!

Welcome to the new world of airline service.

Have a good day. Take a train. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* They're already shrinking everything they can ... they've even taken out the space between the words in their names.

** That's airline-speak for "relatively affordable."

Pictures from Germany: The Reunion and the Pfahlbauten

Greetings once again from the lobby of the Holiday Inn Express in Singen! I haven’t been able to post for the last few days, but now that I have a few minutes, I figured I’d try to catch up with pictures from the social event of the season: Agnes’s class reunion and the excursion to the famous Pfahlbauten open-air museum and historical site in Unteruhldingen on the shores of the beautiful Bodensee (Lake Constance).

Class reunions in Germany – at least in this small town – are done a bit differently than in the States. This was advertised as the 60^th reunion of the class that was born in 1951 (as opposed to our class reunions at home, which usually are marked from the high school or college graduation year). Things started up with an informal get-together on Friday evening at the Gasthaus Gems in the nearby town of Arlen, intended mainly for those arriving from out of town … as it happened, though, a large crowd showed up that did not include many people from “out of town,” as most of the members of Agnes’s year group have remained settled in the small towns in the local area. Agnes was the one who came the farthest, and because she left town right after graduation, moved successively farther away over the years, and had lost contact with almost everyone, she was concerned that she wouldn’t recognize anyone, nor would they recognize her. As it turned out, she was partially right … there was much shaking of hands, cocking of heads, and narrowing of eyes, followed by the phrase I must have heard a zillion times: “Ach! Die AGNES!!” ... followed in turn by much happy laughter and exchange of information about children and grandchildren.

Things really got underway on Saturday, when we all reconvened at the Gasthaus Gems in Arlen for a champagne breakfast and reception ...

followed by a short bus ride to the old school for a brief visit and a group photo ... Agnes is in the front row, second from the left.

Then it was back onto the bus for a ride to the town of Bodman on the Bodensee for a very nice lunch at the hotel restaurant Seehaus overlooking the lake. I wasn’t sure we’d actually make it to the lunch … the bus driver insisted on driving us right to the door, which involved making an impossible turn from the narrow street into the even-narrower driveway (he missed the hotel sign with at least 3.75 Angstroms clearance) ...

... and down the hill into a tiny parking lot that was already crowded with cars. We hopped out, enjoyed the lunch (included in the price of the reunion package), and then came out to discover that the driver had somehow – and I have no idea how – managed to get the bus out of the parking lot and back up the hill, where it was parked majestically at the side of the road ...

I can only assume that Capt Kirk somehow beamed him out of the lot.

We re-boarded the bus and were transported to the town of Unteruhldingen, site of the famous archaeological site called the Pfahlbauten – an entire Stone- and Bronze-Age community protected by a double wooden palisade and built on stilts over the surface of the Bodensee. The site has been extensively excavated and studied, and much of it has been rebuilt as an open-air museum that has recently been recognized as a World Cultural Heritage Site. This is a view of the site from the lake side ...

And here are a few views showing details of some of the structures. The first two pictures also show something of the palisades which protected the settlement from wild animals and other enemies ...

It’s an absolutely fascinating place, although not for the faint of heart – most of the connecting walkways (and some of the houses) are a bit rickety, and actually sway in the currents ...

We had a guided tour of the site, which included lectures and demonstrations of how the Stone Age residents made their tools and crafted the buildings, and then had about an hour and a half to wander the site and explore on our own. We did a little exploring and then – it being a very warm day – we joined the rest of the group on the shaded forecourt of a nearby hotel for cold drinks while we waited for the ship which would take us back across the Bodensee to Ueberlingen, where we'd meet our bus.

We boarded the ferry and enjoyed the trip back across the lake. One of the men from the class, who was either very well-connected or very brazen or both, invited me forward of the successive lines of “no admittance” warning signs, ropes, and gates and marched me into the wheelhouse, where he introduced me to the captain as his American friend. I got a hearty handshake from the captain, who then ignored me while he went about the business of driving the boat. I was able to take a few pictures in and from the wheelhouse, but my favorite was this one, which I took over his shoulder as he stood at the remote steering unit on the starboard side to guide the ship to its berth in Ueberlingen. Very exciting!

We disembarked from the ship and had about a 20-minute wait until the bus was to pick us up for the ride back to Arlen. This being not a lot of time, we all hung around the harbor area, where I discovered yet another of the amazingly ugly sculptures which seem to plague this part of Germany. Trust me…you’ll thank me for not including any close-ups of this one …

The bus appeared right on time, and again managed to successfully negotiate the narrow, twisting streets and multiple traffic circles to get up the hill from the harbor and on the road back to Arlen. The driver didn’t need GPS – he had a busload of highly-opinionated 60-year olds who shouted directions (sometimes including advice to turn in opposite directions) until we finally got out of town and back to the autobahn. Eventually, we ended up back again at the Gasthaus Gems, where we enjoyed a light dinner before catching a taxi back to the hotel and collapsing in utter exhaustion.

Bottom line: we loved it. Agnes managed to reconnect with old friends she hadn't seen in many years, and I was accepted unconditionally by everybody ... even my linguistic gaffes were forgiven in the general excitement that there was an Ami who actually spoke German. Everything was well-organized and well-planned without giving the feeling of being regimented. And no matter what stereotypes you may have of dour, unsmiling Germans, this had to be one of the happiest and loudest bunches of people I've seen in a long time.

And that will have to be enough for now. Tomorrow is our last full day here in Germany before we head back home on Wednesday. You'll be able to hear the kicking and screaming from wherever you are.

Tomorrow, I'll try to post a few assorted pictures and observations from the last two weeks ... but if I don't manage it, hang in there - the next guaranteed post will be on Thursday, once we've gotten back home.

Have a good day. More thoughts (and more pictures) coming.

Bilbo

Pictures from Germany - Konstanz

Hello again from my usual late-evening spot in the lobby of the Holiday Inn in Singen, Germany! It's been a long day, but a very nice one ... we caught the regional train at 1:00 PM, and met up with our endlessly patient and wonderfully knowledgeable tour guides - Agnes's cousin Anna and her daughter Lea - for a walking tour of the beautiful border city of Konstanz. Once again, the weather was fantastic and we had a great afternoon exploring the city, which lies directly on the Bodensee (Lake Constance) and straddles the border between Germany and Switzerland. Here are a few of the 153 pictures I took in the three hours we were there (that's about 50 pictures per hour, or a bit under one per minute ... I'm slipping).

We start off with two pictures of buildings along the edge of the Bodensee ...

And ...

At the harbor was a huge statue of "Imperia" that slowly turned in a circle to watch over the boats ...

According to the plaque on the base, the statue is nine meters tall, weighs 18 tons, and was sculpted by Peter Lenk, inspired by a story by Honore de Balzac about the Konstanzer Konzil. In her right hand, she holds a caricature of the Pope, and in her left, a caricature of the Emperor. Just above her and to the right is a zeppelin, flying from the nearby zeppelin station and museum at Friedrichshafen. Here is a closeup of the statue that shows the figures in her hands ...

... and here is a better view of the zeppelin ...

We decided we just have to have a ride in one of those on our next visit!

We enjoyed lunch at a cafe near the lakeside promenade, and then we set off to explore the rest of the town. How could I not enjoy an afternoon in the company of three such beautiful ladies ... ?

The city of Konstanz is full of beautiful old buildings, many of which have been lovingly restored and proudly show the year of their original construction. They feature the same ornamentation and beautiful murals that we saw in many of the older buildings in Tuebingen and elsewhere in Germany. Here are a few examples ...

I want some cool gargoyles on my gutters at home ...

And finally,

In addition to all the other things I learned today from Anna and Lea (who lived here for five years as a student), I now know that:

1. A "Reusche" (as in the image above) is a woven fish trap; and,

2. The name of the city is pronounced "KON-shtants." I was actually pronouncing it correctly without knowing what I was doing.

I wanted to get a photo of the front of the Rathaus (City Hall), which is covered with beautiful murals of events in the history of the city, but the street was too narrow and the building too tall for me to get a decent picture. This is a photo of the interior courtyard, which is almost equally beautiful and is, according to Lea, a popular location for weddings ...

As it happens, Lea has some experience with this courtyard, having sung in an opera performed on an elevated stage which would have been directly above the spot where I shot this picture. The ladies in this family are enormously talented, and I bask in their reflected glory.

Well, I'm afraid that's got to be enough for now. It's nearly 11:00 PM, I'm bushed, and Agnes's parents will be expecting us early tomorrow morning. These relaxing vacations are going to be the death of me yet.

Have a good day. More on our travels and adventures in Germany tomorrow. For those of you who are my Facebook friends, there will be more pictures posted once we get home.

Bilbo

Pictures from Germany - Tuebingen

Yesterday, I told you about our visit to the Roman Open-Air Museum ... today's travel report is about our visit to the beautiful university town of Tuebingen. As before, Agnes's cousin Anna was our tour guide, and did a wonderful job of showing us the sights of a very lovely city. Here are a few highlights...

This was our first view of the old part of Tuebingen, taken from the bridge over the Neckar River. We had perfect weather for the visit and the obligatory picture-taking ...

The town is built on hills that rise up from the Neckar, and the narrow, twisting streets and alleys show it ...

We hiked all the way up to the top to visit Schloss Hohentuebingen, an old fortress which now belongs to the University of Tuebingen and is largely used as a museum and for offices and classrooms. Here's the approach to the main entrance ...

Agnes and I manning the battlements. Photo by Anna, who takes a mean picture as well as being a world-class tour guide ...

An atmospheric shot taken within the castle walls ...

Looking out over the rooftops of Tuebingen from the castle ...

On the way back down from the castle, we wandered the streets and ended up at the main square. This is the beautiful facade of the city's Rathaus (City Hall) ...

And this is an example of the sort of architectural decoration you find all over in the older parts of German cities ...

Anna told us that the year-round population of Tuebingen is about 30,000 souls ... but it swells to over 80,000 when classes are in session. Happily, we visited during the holidays and were able to enjoy the city without too much crowding. This appears to be one of the ways the students who remained in town enjoy passing the time - sitting on the wall above the Neckar, watching the boats (and the tourists) go by ...

And it was such a beautiful day, I couldn't resist taking this picture of a beautiful young lady being rowed down the river by her lucky suitor ...

I actually took 226 pictures, but I won't bore you with all of them. Trust me ... it was a wonderful day, and the remaining pictures just add more proof.

We're now in Singen, visiting Agnes's parents. Tomorrow, we're taking the train to the border city of Konstanz for the afternoon, where we'll hook up with cousin Anna and her daughter Lea (whom we haven't seen for several years) for an afternoon of sightseeing along the shores of the Bodensee (Lake Constance) and around the city.

More about those adventures tomorrow.

Have a good day. More travel updates coming ...

Bilbo