Friday, January 04, 2013

Coitus Really Interruptus

Warning!! ... R-rated post ahead!

Lord Chesterfield once said of sex that "The pleasure is momentary, the position is ridiculous, and the expense damnable." It can be particularly expensive if it includes a trip to the emergency room.

From The FW comes this heartwarming story for the new year: Woman Arrested for Beating Up Boyfriend After Unsatisfying Sex.

It seems that an "extremely intoxicated" 50-year-old Florida woman, angry because her 32-year-old boyfriend was unable to provide her sufficient pleasure in the bedroom, began beating the hapless fellow with a stick and a wrench, after which she "violently" resisted arrest and was eventually jailed on a charge of misdemeanor battery.

I remember the good old days, when "using protection" didn't imply a need for body armor in the bedroom.

This proves the old adage that the more you misdemeanor you get, ha, ha.

The lesson, of course, is to be sure you can finish what you start, especially if your partner is intoxicated and borderline homicidal. And it's probably also a good idea, given the temper of the times, to make sure your prospective partner isn't packing heat as well ... that "stand your ground" law may not be to your advantage if you can't stand up - so to speak.

Have a good day. Keep the ol' Viagra bottle handy, just in case. More thoughts tomorrow.



eViL pOp TaRt said...

Oh my God. She's not one to fake orgasms!

She might cause the APA to develop a new diagnostic category" insufficient coital satisfaction rage!

John A Hill said...


Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Oh my goodness that is funny and sad all in one.
I agree with Evil Pop Tart on this one.
I can't wait to show this to my husband. :-)

Mike said...

'misdemeanor' - I had to read that three times before my brain would break to word down to its' component parts so the pun made sense.

Duckbutt said...

Sex with her is risky sex!

Mike said...

This is a test comment. I'm trying google chrome again.

Banana Oil said...

She has high standards and a low level of frustration tolerance.