Ask Bilbo: The Answers, Part 2

Welcome to the second installment of the answers to "Ask Bilbo!" Yesterday I answered the questions posed by Brandi, Meredith, Heidi, and Linda Kay. Today, we turn to our final four respondents ...

5. Gonzo Dave asked: "What's your opinion on Congressional term limits?"

I used to believe that Congressional term limits weren't necessary because the voters would throw the bums out when they'd worn out their electoral welcome, but I don't think that any more. Voters are lazy and keep voting for the incumbent as long as he (or she) hasn't been convicted of a major felony, and the enormous amounts of money pumped into campaigns by special interests keeps the "right" people coming back election after election. The Constitution limits the President to two terms ... I think we should also put a two-term limit in place for our members of Congress to keep them fresh and honest. Or as honest as they're ever likely to get.

6. Elvis asked two questions:

a. Do you think the Washington Redskins should change their mascot? How about the Boston Red Sox?

Given the number of burning issues we need to address in this country, the name of the Washington Redskins is a small and silly one except to the people who care about it above all else. Go ahead and change the name; not all of our problems have such an easy fix. But good luck getting everyone to agree on a new name. As for the Boston Red Sox, they can change, too ... I suggest changing to "Rainbow Sox" as a nod to the LGBT community.

b. Should large states like California and Texas subdivide into smaller ones?

Heavens, no!! Texans are enough of a pain in the ass with one state, much less two. And there's no need to subdivide California - before long the Big One will hit and half the state will slide into the Pacific and solve the problem.

7. Angel asked three questions:

a. Do you think that we need a third political party?

If the two political parties we already have don't grow up and learn to cooperatively govern, yes. A solid centrist party, appealing to people in the range between conservative Democrats and liberal Republicans, would be a good alternative to the stable of drooling horse's asses we have now. Of course, the monied special interests would never let it happen, but it's a nice fantasy*.

b. Is wearing crop tops and bikinis appropriate for women above age 25?

It depends upon the woman. There are some women under the age of 25 who have no business being seen in public in crop tops or bikinis, and other women in their 40s and 50s who can look smashing in them. It all depends on the lady and her body, and she should be smart enough to choose styles of clothing that flatter her. Wearing a crop top or a bikini because she thinks it makes her look younger and more attractive doesn't always work out ... and can seriously backfire**. And by the way, the same could be said for men who try to wear speedos and muscle shirts regardless of their build, thinking it makes them look studly. Anyone who's been to a beach or a public pool knows how well that works out for a lot of men.

c. Do you think that the quarantine measures being taken regarding Ebola are necessary or an overreaction?

Ebola is a terrible disease that definitely requires serious prophylactic measures including selective quarantines. But I also think that because ebola is so terrifying, because the news media has done such an irresponsible job of reporting the true danger, and because it's a convenient club for the GOP to use to beat the administration in an election year, many of the measures being taken - including imposing ill-targeted quarantines and calls for flight bans from specific countries - are an overreaction driven more by fear and politics than by medical necessity.

8. Peggy also asked multiple questions:

a. Do you think Virginia will split into North and South as the southern part of the state wishes?

No. I think the two parts of the commonwealth need each other and will grit their teeth and stay together. But if they did decide to split and things got edgy, it might be interesting to see how we'd go about recruiting the new Army of Northern Virginia from the crowds of yuppies sipping lattes at Starbucks or hanging out at the local malls.

b. Do you think that we will survive the political ads and ugliness that is going to be starting soon?

What do you mean, starting soon? At least here in NoVa, the ugliness has been with us for weeks. Will we survive? We've survived all the other ugly elections, so I guess we'll survive this one, too. It's just a shame we have to think of elections in terms of survival.

And there you are ... the second installment of "Ask Bilbo." I hope you enjoyed the answers you received as much as I enjoyed coming up with them for you. If not, well, I'll be glad to respond to your "Ask (Your Name Here)."

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Especially when compared to some of the other fantasies I might ... or might not ... have.

** As you know if you've ever spent any time in a Wal-Mart.