Friday, June 19, 2015

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award for June, 2015


Time's flying, Dear Readers, and it's time to name our Left-Cheek Ass Clown of the Month for June ...


It's always a chore to pick out the most deserving recipient, but a prime candidate has floated to the top of the tank. The action for which our awardee is cited actually took place back in May, but there's such a backlog of candidates that it took until now to fit him into the queue. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June ...

Jim Cooley



Many travelers were very concerned at the sight of an individual carrying such a fearsome weapon in a busy airport, and notified the police ... who could do nothing because, as it happens, it is perfectly legal under Georgia law* to carry a loaded weapon into an airport, as long as it is not carried into the secured areas under the control of the TSA.

When one of the responding police officers told Cooley that “You’ve got quite a few people afraid because calls are like just coming in left and right,” Mr Cooley haughtily replied that "People's fears are not my responsibility." He went on to tell the police that he was carrying the weapon for his personal safety**, reminded them that it was legal to do so, and threatened to sue the airport if he was "harassed." In a subsequent interview with a local television station, Mr Cooley stated that “It shouldn’t matter what I carry, just that I choose to carry ... you never know where something might happen.”

I wish to stress that Mr Cooley broke no laws and was exercising his legal rights under the US Constitution and Georgia law. I am presenting him the Left-Cheek Ass Clown Award not for the specific action, stupid as I believe it was, of carrying an automatic rifle with a 100-round drum magazine into the world's busiest airport, but for his brazen disregard of the legitimate concerns of other citizens. Mr Cooley may be a stand-up fellow, one of the "good guys with a gun" sanctified by the NRA as the front line of our defense against "bad guys with guns." Unfortunately, none of the rest of us is able to see the invisible halo that distinguishes him from a similarly armed bad guy.

For his selfish and ludicrously-justified action that caused significant distress to his fellow citizens, Mr Jim Cooley is named the Left-Cheek Ass Clown of the Month for June of 2015. If you come to the awards ceremony, be sure to wear your formal kevlar vest.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* You can read the Georgia law, HB 512, The Safe Carry Protection Act, here.

** He was clearly able to outgun anyone armed with a weapon carrying less than a hundred rounds.

8 comments:

Duckbutt said...

He's a selfish cretin!

Gonzo Dave said...

I think this one is near the top of the list, if not *at* the top, for Ass Clown of the Year!

KathyA said...

Again, the orifice in the middle is so much more appropriate for this bozo.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

I wondered if it would be The Donald; but this guy would suffice nicely.

Mike said...

He should have to pay $25 for every call he caused to the police. Sort of like having a burglar alarm but having to pay for false alarms that generate a police response.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Why only 1 ass cheek - he deserves at least 2. :-)

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

An unwiped ass, at that!

allenwoodhaven said...

I remember hearing about this idiot. He is a worthy recipient but unfortunately would be proud and not shamed by the designation.