Eating Right for Better Sex

This is another of those posts with an adult theme. I've noticed that my readership statistics skyrocket when I'm writing about sex, so I may as well go with what works ...

I'm not revealing any particular secrets when I note that we are living in a sex-drenched society. From the mandatory sex scene in almost every movie and most cable TV dramas to the Viagra™ and Cialis™ commercials on prime-time TV to the lascivious gyrations of dancers in music videos, sex is everywhere.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love sex. If it weren't for sex, I wouldn't be here, and neither would you. And if for some reason you need help, you may be interested in this article by Robin Scher I just read the other day: Listen up, Guys: 14 Foods That May Help Your Sexual Performance.

Oy.

First of all, I think the thing that would most help my sexual performance is a time machine that would take me back about 50 years. At my age, I like food for food's sake, not because it will turn me into a virile stud ready to drop everything in pursuit of comely ladies, but it never hurts to eat right, no matter the reason. Here's how I relate to the 14 foods that are said to help the male libido by either increasing testosterone or helping improve blood flow*:

1. Watermelon. I'm off to a good start ... love watermelon!

2. Tomatoes. I also love tomatoes. I snack on grape tomatoes all day long.

3. Pink Grapefruit. Yum! Like tomatoes and other red fruits and vegetables, grapefruit contains lycopene**, an antioxidant that also helps reduce the risk of prostate cancer.

4. Oysters. Uh ... I'll pass. Oysters are said to be a sex food because they are rich in zinc, which aids in the production of testosterone, but if I need zinc that badly, I'll suck on galvanized nails.

5. Caffeine. Holy baloney, with the amount of coffee I put away, I ought to be the poster boy for sex ... I should be the Hugh Hefner of NoVa.

6. Dark Chocolate. Still on a roll ... I absolutely love dark chocolate. Milk chocolate, not so much.

7. Pistachios. I wonder if these are on the list because they look like ... uh ... never mind. I love pistachios.

8. Walnuts. I love walnuts, too.

9. Pine Nuts. And pine nuts, particularly when they're part of a good pesto.

10. Salmon (and other fatty fish). We have a wonderful recipe for marinated, cedar-planked salmon. Perhaps I should make it more often.

11. Kale. Forget it. I love most vegetables, but I'd rather munch on old tinfoil than on kale.

12. Spinach. Spinach is rich in iron, and iron is hard, so I'm sensing a connection, here. And I love spinach.

13. Chilis. Capsaicin, the substance that makes chili peppers hot, boosts blood flow and is also linked to testosterone production. I like spicy foods, so that's a plus.

14. Green Tea. Hot or iced, this is a great drink. And according to the article, it's full of catechins, which help your liver turn fat into energy and improve blood flow.

So, how does my diet stand up?***

My diet is high in twelve out of the 14 foods that are alleged to improve sexual performance. I wonder if it's okay to ask Agnes if she's noticed any difference. No, probably not ... one of my rules to live by is to not ask a question if you're not sure you want to hear the answer.

Have a good day. Eat right ... you can even have my oysters and kale. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* And helping blood flow to certain manly organs doesn't hurt your sex life.

** Before you ask, it has nothing to do with werewolves.

*** Sorry.