Friday, April 21, 2017

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2017

We're into the second half of April already (where does the time go?), and that means it's time once again to heap dishonor upon a worthy ass clown. Sometimes, despite the teeming crowds of contenders, there's a nominee who stands head and shoulders above the rest for his or her monumental level of ass clownery. And so it is this time, as we announce

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown
April, 2017

And the winner is

Oscar Munoz,
CEO of United Airlines

Unless you've been living in a cave in Mongolia for the last month, you know the essentials of the story: how a passenger who refused to give up his seat on a United Airlines flight - after he had already been checked in and boarded - was beaten and dragged from the aircraft by security guards while dozens of passengers looked on in horror and many filmed the disgraceful episode using their smartphones.

In a letter to United employees in the wake of the public relations disaster, Munoz wrote:

“Our employees followed established procedures for dealing with situations like this ... While I deeply regret this situation arose, I also emphatically stand behind all of you, and I want to commend you for continuing to go above and beyond to ensure we fly right.”

Letting paying customers know that United was "follow(ing) established procedures" and "going above and beyond to ensure we fly right" didn't improve the situation, and Mr Munoz was forced to issue a more apologetic apology, acknowledging that perhaps the established procedures weren't as good as they might have been:

“The truly horrific event that occurred on this flight has elicited many responses from all of us: outrage, anger, disappointment. I share all of those sentiments, and one above all: my deepest apologies for what happened. Like you, I continue to be disturbed by what happened on this flight and I deeply apologize to the customer forcibly removed and to all the customers aboard. No one should ever be mistreated this way.”

Much has been written and will continue to be written about this terrible incident and what it says about the corporate culture to which we have chosen to subordinate ourselves in the search for ever-lower costs. In the end, little will change and we will continue to live in a system that, by putting profit over humanity, generates prize-winning ass clowns like Mr Munoz.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, please join me in raising a bronx cheer for our Left-Cheek Ass Clown for April, Oscar Munoz.

And if you fly United, read the fine print in your ticket carefully and wear well-padded clothing.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.



eViL pOp TaRt said...

He made the entire United Airlines debacle worse! A good choice; but there was a large field of entrants in this race of nags.

KathyA said...

Add a cup, mouth guard, and helmet to that padded clothing.

So many candidates; so little time.

Mike said...

Oh yeah!

Grand Crapaud said...

Well merited!

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

What a dumbass! It's hard to top Trump and Sessions, but he managed!

allenwoodhaven said...


Great choice. There are so many good choices every single week. Is there an off season for ass clowns?

Brandi said...

Great choice!