Monday, October 09, 2017

Dealing with Assholes

I'm number 14 on the waiting list at my local library for a book I couldn't possibly pass up - The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal with People Who Treat You Like Dirt.

Author Robert Sutton defines an asshole as "... someone who leaves us feeling demeaned, de-energized, disrespected, and/or oppressed. In other words, someone who makes you feel like dirt," and goes on to theorize that there are two types of assholes: "certified" and "temporary." Dr Sutton suggests that we all have the capacity to be temporary assholes under the proper conditions*, while a certified asshole is someone who always treats people poorly, and takes pleasure in the misery of others. For an interview in which he spells out his theories of what assholes are and why they act the way they do, check out this interview on - "A Stanford Psychologist on the Art of Avoiding Assholes."

In the course of my life, I've had to deal with some pretty despicable human beings who reveled in making my life, and the lives of those I love, miserable. Sadly, dealing with people like that is never easy, particularly when they can't be ignored or avoided. Nevertheless, Dr Sutton suggests that one of the best, if most difficult, approaches to dealing with an asshole is to "... simply learn not to give a s**t. Not giving a s**t takes the wind out of [his] sails." He won't change, but if you're able to ignore him as if he were an annoying insect, it can help you get on with your life.

My most annoying asshole, sadly, can't be ignored ... and so I'm waiting rather impatiently for my name to creep up the waiting list for Dr Sutton's book to get some other ideas. I'm willing to try just about anything that won't attract the attention of the coroner.

Suggestions welcome.

Have a good day, and avoid assholes when you can. More thoughts tomorrow.


* This is true. I try hard to treat everyone well, and it takes quite a bit to wake up my inner asshole, but if someone is willing to go to enough trouble to do it, I'll gladly try to make it worth their while. The problem, sadly, is that a true certified asshole doesn't care about the feelings of anyone else, and I'm not sure that I could out-asshole a true professional.


Mike said...

I thought this was going to be about trump.

allenwoodhaven said...

You should writer a book titled How to Identify and Deal with Ass-Clowns. It's a subset of Assholes but worthy of their own book. You are the resident expert!

Saw a great meme once; it went something like "If you run into an asshole first thing in the morning, then you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day long, you're the asshole."

Cloudia said...

thoughtful meditation on a very current topic!

eViL pOp TaRt said...

At least you can enjoy Jimmy Buffet's "The I-95 Asshole Song."

Duckbutt said...

Most assholes revel in their assholedom. Therefore, they are not likely to change.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Assholes get a lot of encouragement with their asshole traits.

roth phallyka said...

You are the resident expert!