The Ass Clown of the Year for 2021!

As we greet the dawn of the new year 2022, it's time to set trepidation about the future aside and look to the past as we dishonor

The 2021 Ass Clown of the Year

The competition was extremely intense this year, driven not only by the sheer number of ass clowns clamoring for attention, but the incredible range of domains from which they came. This year's prospects from the frothing cesspool of biweekly winners alone spanned categories ranging from politics to religion to law to the media to "medicine" and beyond ... a group of ass clowns representing the worst of a broad cross-section of modern life.

The year's biweekly winners were summarized in the kickoff announcement back on December 22nd, and need not be mentioned here again, the year having been depressing enough already*. We will press on with the presentation of the award, beginning with the fifth place finisher ... but first, a special note about the voting: to my amazement, Der Furor received not one single vote**. I guess it's a testimony to the level of ass clownery of those who did get votes, but I'm choosing to view it as a hopeful sign that the worst president in history - having done enough damage to the nation and the world - is finally fading into noisy and spiteful irrelevance.

And now, the results.

In fifth place with 3183 votes, West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin, whose insistence that he is socially liberal but fiscally conservative has tanked the very programs that would have provided desperately-needed financial and social assistance to the citizens of his impoverished and unhealthy state.

In fourth place with 3200 votes, a mere 17 ahead of Senator Manchin, Ohio Representative Jim Jordan, whose shouting theatrics and boorish behavior helped make a mockery of government service.

In third place with 3300 votes, Texas Governor Greg Abbott, who surged to a powerful late finish on the strength of his December 31st request to President Biden for additional federal aid to help Texas cope with the strain of the surging omicron variant of Covid-19 ... which was caused in large part by the actions of the governor in downplaying and denying the proven measures needed to combat it. Don't mess with ruggedly independent Texas unless it needs your help to cope with the deadly situation it created itself.

In second place with 4387 votes, a person who (in the brilliant observation of my friend Dave) was such a loser that she couldn't even win an award for ass-clownery, highly independent (of legislative skill, thought, and compassion) Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema.

and,

In first place with 4756 votes, the individual you chose as the supreme representative of total ass-clownery for the year 2021 ... which was itself defined by a near-historic level of buffoonery, political chicanery, misinformation, and wanton disavowal of responsibilities in place of unrestricted personal freedoms, 

Faux News Shouting Head

Tucker Carlson

Thirteen other candidates received vote totals ranging from 87*** (for Kentucky Senator Rand Paul) to 2,300 (for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis). 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, please join me in a round of celebratory flatulence to dishonor the 2021 Ass Clown of the Year, Tucker Carlson.

I wish all of you a safe, happy, and healthy New Year's Day holiday as we gird our collective loins for the year to come. I hope that 2022 will bring us victory over Covid-19, an economy that continues to boom, inflation that goes down, and the election in November of decent, hardworking public servants who place the nation's welfare ahead of their party dogmas and personal ambitions. I also hope to win the Powerball. Guess which one is more likely.

Have a good day and enjoy the holiday. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* 2021 had to deliver us one last kick in the crotch by taking Betty White on December 31st, just weeks before her 100th birthday. Thanks for nothing.

** Nor, in fact, did spineless weasel Mike Pence, whose relentless plumbing of the depths of shame and cowardice was hindered neither by his craven loyalty to Der Furor, nor his attempts to downplay the January 6th insurrection in attempts to rhetorically kiss the backsides of the MAGA masses.

*** The number 87 is apparently used as a slang term in Taiwan and Hong Kong to mean "idiot." According to the Urban Dictionary, 87 can be pronounced as "ba - chi" - two separate numbers in Chinese; however, the pronunciation is similar to "bei - chi", which means "idiot" in Mandarin Chinese. Thanks to my friend Dick who cast the 87 votes for Mr Paul and turned me on to a useful new code word! By the way, if you do, in fact, look up "87" in the Urban Dictionary, you will find that it has another meaning we will not discuss here, this being a blog occasionally read by my grandchildren.