Ass Clown Special Award

As you know, I usually present two Ass Clown awards each month - Right-Cheek and Left-Cheek - with a third, the On-Crack Award - presented in months when there are three Fridays available between our Great Moments in Editing and Signage Posts. Sometimes, ass clownery of unusual distinction requires me to present special awards outside the regular schedule, as I did with Der Furor and Pete Hegseth last month after their rambling and disgraceful diatribes to the Brass-o-Rama, and as we do again today.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we present this 

Ass Clown Special Award

to

Attorney General

Pamela Bondi

Der Furor nominated Ms Bondi to be Attorney General after his nomination of former Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz to the position was laughed down. She was certainly more qualified than the execrable Mr Gaetz, and said all the right things at her confirmation hearing, winning her job by a party-line vote of 54-46*. She has since become less an Attorney General and guardian of the rule of law than a legal attack dog in slavering service to her petty and vindictive sponsor, and this is her third Ass Clown Award**. 

This was on vivid display earlier this week when she "testified" before the Senate Judiciary Committee, where she angrily stonewalled questions about her job performance, turning them into sound bites intended to eviscerate Democratic senators who dared to question her actions. In one example, she snapped back at Senator Dick Durbin of Illinois, who had asked whether she'd been consulted before the decision to deploy federal troops to Chicago, saying, “I wish you loved Chicago as much as you hate President Trump!” 

When Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D, RI) asked for clarification of her decision to drop the investigation into "Border Czar" Tom Homan's alleged acceptance of a $50,000 bribe, she ignored the question and instead attacked Senator Whitehouse, demanding to know why he accepted campaign donations from an associate of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein***.

Senator Richard Blumenthal (D, CT) asked why Ms Bondi had not recused herself from a case involving a client of her old lobbying firm, Ballard Partners, and she replied: “How dare you! I am a career prosecutor. Don’t you ever challenge my integrity†.” 

After listing all the questions that Ms Bondi had refused to answer, Senator Adam Schiff (R, CA) remarked that "This is supposed to be an oversight hearing where members of Congress can get serious answers to serious questions," Ms Bondi replied, "I think you owe the president an apology for your entire career." 

Ms Bondi's complete and utter disregard for the oversight role of the Senate, coupled with her scornful and condescending insults and non-answers to the questions posed by Democratic senators (but not Republican ones) are beneath the dignity of the nation's top law enforcement official, and are a dramatic example of the debasement of public service and the disgraceful conduct of government officials who have mortgaged their honor, decency, and self-respect in service to a man who himself has no honor, decency, or respect for his office and his duty to the nation.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today's Ass Clown Special Award is presented to Attorney General Pam Bondi - a woman who has debased herself and her office, and for whom we can only pray that the price for which she sold her soul was worth it.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania, a Democrat, was the lone Democratic party vote for her confirmation.

** She was previously the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2025 and the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2025. She's quite the overachiever.

*** Mr. Whitehouse later said that a review of his campaign finance records showed that nobody by the name cited by Ms Bondi had ever contributed to his campaigns, and said that “Attorney General Bondi made up nonsense to avoid answering whether the White House border czar returned the $50,000."

† Her integrity could be challenged if it could be found.