The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2026

The first Ass Clown award of the new year is always (for me, at least) a big deal, because it sets the bar for further awards in the course of the coming months. It's always difficult to pick the winners, because the level of ass clownery is so high and its practitioners so gleefully proud of themselves; indeed, I've toyed with the idea of issuing weekly, rather than bi-weekly awards, but I've decided that the current structure of two (occasionally three) awards per month plus special awards as needed provides a better focus on the truly deserving.

For the first award of 2026, I think the winner is especially well-deserved. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with the traditional roll of muffled drums and flatulent blare of trumpets, we announce

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2026

and the tinfoil and toilet paper crown goes to

Republican Gaslighters

and

Rewriters of History

If you were conscious and aware on January 6th, 2021, you saw - with your own eyes - a howling mob of supporters of Der Furor who stormed the U.S. Capitol, injuring more than a hundred police officers and causing millions of dollars of damage to the Capitol Building, egged on by Der Furor's evidence-free fever dream of a stolen election. Vast quantities of video evidence of the riot exist, as do thousands of first-person testimonies, convictions of participants after jury trials, and the work of the House committee that investigated the event.

Of course, we know what happened after ... Republicans at every level began to rewrite the history of that evil day in a desperate attempt to avoid accountability, claiming that the actions of the mob were nothing more than a "normal tourist day" and that someone - anyone - else was responsible for the deaths and destruction. The White House website now hosts a page that brazenly rewrites the history of the January 6th riot with false claims attempting to absolve Der Furor of any responsibility for that horrific event. The new White House page blames Capitol Police officers, who defended lawmakers that day, for starting the assault; Democrats, who were the rioters’ main targets, for failing to prevent it; and former Vice President Mike Pence, who rejected falsehoods about the 2020 election, for allowing the results to be certified. Rioters who injured police and damaged property are described as "patriots" and "political prisoners," who were later granted clemency for their crimes by a president eager to whitewash his own crimes. Alabama GOP Senator Tommy Tuberville had the gall to actually accuse Democrats - on the floor of the Senate - of perpetrating a "January 6th hoax."

In his classic novel 1984, George Orwell described a dystopian future in which the government constantly revised history to meet the political needs of the moment. The classic quote, often cited in this fraught moment in our history, is

"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command."

The moral cesspool that is today's Republican Party is a stain on our history and our reputation as a nation of freedom, goodwill and the rule of law. The relentless efforts of these people to put lipstick on the pig of their despicable behavior is an affront to Americans everywhere and a gross insult to the law enforcement officers who were injured or killed as a result of the actions Republicans cheered on and now would rather ignore.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2026 goes to the Republican Gaslighters and Rewriters of History. Don't let them get away with it. It's your history, too.

LAST MINUTE ADDITION: It's not bad enough that Republicans shamelessly try to rewrite the history of the January 6th, 2021, riot ... today, they are working hard to gaslight the nation and smear the name of American citizen Renee Good, the Minneapolis mother of three who was murdered by a masked government agent while demonstrating against ICE operations in her town. Vice President JD Vance, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, and Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt led the charge, wasting no time in grotesquely blaming the victim for her own death. This is beyond despicable, and should horrify every decent American.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday takes a look at Pandora, who seems to have found a bigger box for 2026. See you then.

Bilbo