The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2026

It's time to announce the second of our three Ass Clown awards for the month. As usual, the competition was fierce, but in my mind, the winner was clear.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the tinfoil and toilet paper crown designating

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2026

is presented to

John Mark Burns

Televangelist, evangelical minister, and GOP political figure John Mark Burns, a "spiritual adviser" to the president, last week presided over the unveiling at the Trump National Doral Miami of a 22-foot golden statue of Der Furor, an event he called "... far more than a ribbon cutting. It was a moment of gratitude, honor, and remembrance,” in which he was joined by dozens of other religious figures. 

The blowback from other religious leaders was fierce, with many of them accusing Burns of idolatry and violation of the First Commandment*. The reaction was such that Burns was compelled to reply, claiming in a post on Twitter (now known as "X") that, 

"This statue was not created for worship. It was created as a symbol of resilience, patriotism, courage, and gratitude. It was created to honor a man whom many may disagree with, but millions of Americans believe has done extraordinary things to make this nation stronger."

He added,

"Let me be very clear: we worship the Lord Jesus Christ and Him alone."

Regardless of Mr Burns' protestations, the optics of a "pastor" blessing a golden idol that praises a man who embodies every one of the Seven Deadly Sins does not speak well of the piety and morality of himself or of the crowd of "religious" figures who joined him in the act. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for May, 2026, is "Pastor" John Mark Burns - a man whose already thin religious credentials have been eroded by his idolatrous worship of a golden idol.

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday, when we'll take a cartoon look at literature. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* For those of you unfamiliar with it, it reads (depending on the version of the Bible you consult), "I am the Lord, your god; you shall have no other gods before Me."