The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2026

Today, we announce the 380th Ass Clown Award* - the latest of my ongoing attempts to shine the light of infamy on those who exemplify noteworthily (?) despicable behavior and the waste of oxygen that might otherwise benefit trees.

Today's award goes to an individual that I can't believe I've missed before this. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we designate as

 

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2026

Acting Attorney General

Todd Blanche

The Office of the Attorney General of the United States was created by the Judiciary Act of 1789, and evolved over the years into the head of the Department of Justice (DOJ) and chief law enforcement officer of the Federal Government. According to the DOJ website, "The Attorney General represents the United States in legal matters generally and gives advice and opinions to the President and to the heads of the executive departments of the Government when so requested."

That's what it says, anyhow.

In practice, Mr Blanche serves as the personal shyster and designated legal hit man for Der Furor, continuing the steady weaponization of the DOJ begun by his predecessor, four-time ass clown award winner Pam Bondi. In his eagerness to achieve his dream of becoming the confirmed, rather than the acting, Attorney General, Mr Blanche has diligently abused his position in order to bring the full weight of the federal justice system to bear against the enemies, real and perceived, of Der Furor. 

It takes significant effort to get a formal request for an ethics investigation into your conduct, but Mr Blanche has gone the extra mile and achieved this questionable distinction. In a 73-page ethics complaint filed to the New York State Bar, 101 retired judges laid out a veritable deluge of complaints about Mr Blanche, including: calling into question his "competency and diligence" in failing to defend the interests of the United States in Der Furor's $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS (including numerous conflicts of interest and "dishonest and deceitful conduct"); his "Abuse of [DOJ] authorities to target personal & political opponents of the President;" and his failure to comply with the Epstein Files Transparency Act.

It is clear that Mr Blanche is focused not on the impartial administration of justice in service to the nation, but on how to abuse his position to punish Der Furor's enemies and make a laughingstock of traditional American notions of equal justice under law.

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd wrote in March of 2019 about another of Der Furor's lawyers, Michael Cohen, in this wonderful passage,

“Trump, who once bleated 'Where’s my Roy Cohn?' in his anger about Jeff Sessions recusing himself, wanted a lawyer who was whip-smart, amoral, ruthless and predatory. Cohen was merely Renfield to Trump’s Dracula, gratefully eating insects and doing the fiend’s bidding.”

Todd Blanche has proven himself to be the latest in the long line of Renfields who have sacrificed their honor and dignity for a power-hungry narcissist who has neither. He will eventually suffer the same fate as all those who have tied their fortunes to a man interested only in what they can do for him, regardless of the personal and professional consequences. But until then, he will continue to represent not the rule of impartial law, but the iron fist of a government weaponized for the benefit of one dangerously unworthy person.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2026, is Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche. We can only hope that enough members of the Senate grow spines and prevent his actual confirmation to the position ... but I'm not holding my breath, and neither should you.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for a Cartoon Saturday look at Artificial Intelligence ... heaven knows we have little enough actual intelligence around.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Comprising 365 individual/group awards and 15 Ass Clown of the Year awards.