DUMBCON Update

Today is Tuesday, April 1st, April Fool's Day. Thus, it is an appropriate day to reassess the National Stupidity Condition - the DUMBCON.

We last raised the DUMBCON in February of this year, when I determined that the prevailing level was insufficient to account for the astounding level of stupidity in modern America. Indeed, the level had risen so sharply that I had to reach back to a version of the scale with enough levels to accommodate it, AND to raise the level by not one, but two steps. But now, things are even more stupid. To name just a few instances:

The Secretary of Defense, National Security Advisor, Director of National Intelligence, CIA Director, Secretary of the Treasury (?). and other administration officials traded sensitive operational military information on a commercial messaging app, not realizing that they had also invited a reporter to be a member of the group.

PINO Der Furor, descending to new levels of pettiness, issued a new royal decree executive order pompously titled "Restoring Truth and Sanity to American History," in which he accused the Smithsonian Institution of "[conducting] a concerted and widespread effort to rewrite our Nation’s history, replacing objective facts with a distorted narrative driven by ideology rather than truth" and of "improper ideology;"

Der Furor also issued another royal decree executive order, "Preserving and Protecting the Integrity of American Elections," which places new restrictions and limitations on voting rights; 

In a calculated provocation and insult to the governments and populations of Denmark and Greenland, "Vice President" Vance and his wife, uninvited, visited a US Space Force facility in Greenland, where Mr Vance doubled down on US aims to take over Greenland, while soft-peddling previous administration threats to absorb it by force if necessary; and,

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth reportedly allowed his wife, an executive producer at Fox News with no known security clearances or need to know, to attend multiple high-level meetings with foreign military officials where sensitive national security information was discussed.

I don't think I could make a better argument that it's time to reset the DUMBCON than this administration makes for itself every day. When I last set the level, I deliberately left room for subsequent adjustment ... and now it's time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I am raising the DUMBCON Level to

DUMBCON MINUS FOUR

("Time to Get Ready for That One-Way Mars Mission")

You will note that this version of the DUMBCON index has ten levels. When I first created the system, I never imagined that I might need more than the five levels that mirror the military's DEFCON system ... much less ten levels. I have no idea where we go from here.

And we're only two months into this administration.

Have a good day, and remember the time when we complained about a government that, whether you agreed with it or not, was not actively criminal, unconstitutional, amoral, incompetent, and hell-bent on undoing almost 250 years of our experiment with self-governing democracy. We'll be a long time getting the country back, if it's even possible.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

DUMBCON and Gohmert-Greene Score Updates

The last time I updated the National Stupidity Condition (DUMBCON) was on October 22nd of last year, when we went from DUMBCON Zero ("Stupid Beyond Your Worst Nightmares") to DUMBCON Minus One ("Forget It, Just Hide Under Your Bed") in preparation for the election. Since the return of Der Furor to the White House, the situation has deteriorated far more quickly than I had expected, and I find myself forced to update the stupidity level yet again. To accommodate the current situation, I have had to go all the way back to 2018 for a version of the DUMBCON scale able to handle the breadth and depth of stupidity cascading from Der Furor and his teeming MAGAts:

In order to keep up with the cascading ass-clownery, I have decided to raise the DUMBCON by an unprecedented two levels. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we are skipping DUMBCON Minus Two ("What a Bunch of S**t") and going directly to

DUMBCON Minus Three

("Please God, Make It Stop")

I wish I could tell you that this is as high (or low) as we'll need to go, but the lower the bar, the harder this administration works to limbo under it. The highest DUMBCON level we ever reached was Minus Five ... and at the rate we're going, it'll be breached soon.

In addition to raising the DUMBCON at the national level, I am also assigning a permanent minimum score of 1,500,000 gags (the upper limit of "Dangerously Stupid") on the Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale to a number of current and prospective members of the administration, based on their past records, public comments, and suitability for their positions.

The individuals receiving the initial score of 1,500,000 gags are:

President Elon Musk; 

Der Furor;

Vice President JD Vance;

Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt;

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth;

Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent;

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem;

Commerce Secretary Nominee Howard Lutnick;

Attorney General Pam Bondi;

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy;

Health and Human Services Secretary Nominee Robert F. Kennedy, Jr;

Education Secretary Nominee Linda McMahon;

FBI Director Nominee Kash Patel;

Director of National Intelligence Nominee Tulsi Gabbard;

OMB Director Nominee Russ Vought; and

UN Ambassador Nominee Elise Stefanik

I am provisionally withholding a decision on a permanent minimum score for other officials with whom I am less familiar.

Stand by for updates on both the DUMBCON and the awarding of Gohmert-Greene scores.

Have a good day, and guard yourself against the relentless gaslighting.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Time to Reset the DUMBCON for the Election

Long-time readers of this blog will recall that I established the National Stupidity Condition, or DUMBCON, in July of 2009 as a way of expressing the prevailing level of American stupidity. The original DUMBCON structure was modeled on the military's "Defense Condition" ("DEFCON") system, with five levels ranging from DUMBCON 5 ("Ordinary Stupidity") to DUMBCON 1 ("More Stupid Than You Can Imagine"). I set the original level at DUMBCON 1, skipping over all the lesser levels:

In the 15 years (!) since I established the DUMBCON system, I've changed it numerous times to account for the degree of stupidity. At its highest (in January of 2021), the system had a staggering ten levels, with the highest being DUMBCON Minus 4 ("Time to Volunteer for That One-Way Mars Mission") ...

I've adjusted it several times since then, and the current version (#8) has six levels:

We have been at DUMBCON Zero since January 3rd of this year.

But ...

Given that this is an election year, and that the level of stupidity generated by a single Der Furor-fired MAGA rally - much less the collective lunacy of the GOP and the social and religious right - is almost beyond imagining, I've decided that it's time to adjust the scale once again and reset the DUMBCON to a higher level. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we are implementing Version 9 of the DUMBCON structure - 

and resetting the level from DUMBCON Zero to

DUMBCON Minus 1.

I will revisit the level after election day and decide whether additional changes are necessary.

Have a good day, and be sure you have a plan to vote if you haven't already. Move everything out from under your bed to make sure there's room to hide.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Time to Reset the DUMBCON Level Again

The last time I announced a reset of the National Stupidity Index (the DUMBCON) level was in February of last year, when I raised it from 2 (Shake-Your-Head Stupid) to 1 (More Stupid Than You Can Imagine). Unfortunately, a great many people can imagine a lot more stupidity than I anticipated, and so I find it necessary to raise the DUMBCON once again. I have decided to raise it now as a preemptive move in anticipation of surging levels of stupidity as the 2024 presidential campaign heats up, along with all its accompanying culture war dumbassery.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, 

Effective today, January 3rd, 2024, 

I am increasing the DUMBCON level from 1 to 0

The description of DUMBCON Level 0 is "Stupid Beyond Your Worst Nightmares." If 2023 was any indication of what's coming, I think that description is more than accurate. There will be no concomitant change to the Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale at this time, although I will carefully monitor the evolving situation, and announce any changes which may be needed as the year progresses.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Time to Reset the DUMBCON

You may recall, Dear Readers, that in July of 2009 I established a system for assessing the level of national stupidity - I called it the National Stupidity Condition (DUMBCON), and based it on the five-level National Defense Condition (DEFCON) used by the Department of Defense. This was the original DUMBCON structure; you can read the full explanation in the original 2009 post here:

Over the years, I've revised, expanded, modified, and adjusted the DUMBCON structure and reset the DUMBCON level numerous times to keep up with current events. The current six-level DUMBCON structure, established in January, 2022, is this:

I last reset the DUMBCON level in February of this year in response to the surging level of social, political, and religious stupidity across the country, raising it from 2 ("Shake-Your-Head-Stupid") to 1 ("More Stupid Than You Can Imagine"). Unfortunately, many Americans took this as a challenge and rose to the occasion on an overwhelming surge of stupidity I probably should have foreseen. Consider the following: 

- After voting overwhelmingly on the basis of a mountain of evidence to impeach Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton for malfeasance in office, the same Texas legislature voted overwhelmingly to acquit him of all charges.

- Der Furor (AKA Inmate P01135809) continues to rage incoherently about his various indictments and upcoming trials, demanding his followers ignore the mountainous evidence of his wrongdoing and insisting that his angry and violent rhetoric - that would have had any other individual's bail immediately revoked - is protected by the First Amendment and by his "status" as the presumptive GOP presidential candidate.

- Florida Governor Ron DeSantis continues to take his angry populism on the road, seeking to ride his brand of bitter and spiteful Florida authoritarianism to the White House, saying that "We're going to start slitting throats [of Federal employees] on day one."

- The Supreme Court continues to insist that it need not hold to the ethical standards which bind all other federal judges ... or even those which apply to the lowest, most menial job-holder in the nation.

- Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert was ejected from a Denver theater during a showing of the musical "Beetlejuice" for vaping, disruptive behavior, and engaging in aggressive mutual sexual fondling with her date. 

I could go on, but it just gets more depressing.

And so, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, after deep thought and sad, but careful consideration,  

Effective today, September 18, 2023,

I am raising the DUMBCON level from 1 to 0

And at the depressingly rapid rate we're going, I'll soon need to go back to the ten-level structure of 2021 to accommodate the stupidity.

Before you ask, I am not going to make any changes to the Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale at this time, as it seems adequate (for now) to address individual cases of dumbassery.

Have a good day. Demand more from your elected officials, but don't hold your breath about getting it ... especially if you live in Texas or Florida or voted for someone like Lauren Boebert or Empty G.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Time to Reset the DUMBCON

The way things have been going lately, it's hard to keep track of the prevailing level of stupidity. I've done my part to help with that problem, starting with my creation back in 2009 (14 years ago, can you believe it?) of the original five-level National Stupidity Condition, or DUMBCON, based on the military's defense condition, or "DEFCON" plan.

I tweaked that scale numerous times over the years, adding additional levels until it reached a high of ten levels - one more than the number of levels in Dante's Hell - in July of 2018 ...

In March of 2020 I decided that the system was unwieldy and that it had become too difficult to discriminate among so many levels of stupidity, and so I returned to the original five-level structure, with a modification of colors and an update of the definitions of the individual levels ... only to go back to the ten-level version in January, 2021 - less than a year later - thanks in large part to Der Furor's incitement of a violent mob to storm the Capitol in an attempt to stay in power.

By January of 2022, I had reconsidered yet again and decided to go back to the structure I'd implemented in 2013, which added DUMBCON 0 to create a six-, rather than five-level system. I reset the DUMBCON Level to 2, where it has remained ever since.

But the DUMBCON Index, no matter how I often I tweaked it, wasn't sufficient to fully describe the level of utter stupidity represented by the likes of Empty G, Der Furor, Ted Cruz, Lauren Boebert, and Ron DeSantis, and so I created, in June of 2021, the Gohmert Stupidity Scale. Named for the proudly ignorant former Texas representative, it established the Gohmert (abbreviated ghm) as the basic unit of stupidity, and created a logarithmic scale based on the Richter Scale (used to assess the power of earthquakes) and the Scoville Scale (used to describe the heat of various peppers). The main use of the Gohmert Scale has been to quantify the stupidity of winners of my biweekly Ass Clown Awards.

But such is our brave new world of stupidity that I have decided it's time to reset the DUMBCON level and rethink the fundamentals of the Gohmert Stupidity Scale.

Effective today, February 28th, 2023,

I am increasing the DUMBCON level from 2 to 1.

Further, I am announcing a modification of the Gohmert Stupidity Scale which will attempt to better calibrate its accuracy by adding, in addition to the fundamental factors of ignorance and willingness to adapt to new knowledge, allowances for the role played in modern social-political-religious stupidity by such factors as greed, malice, and hatred. I am putting the final touches on the new scale, and will publish it in this space this coming Thursday, March 2nd*.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it seems as if the defining characteristic of our time is proudly arrogant stupidity. If we can't fight it effectively, let's at least measure and characterize it. I'm doing my part to help.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Unlike the wonderful new GOP health care plan, better than anything else out there, which was always going to be released in two weeks.

DUMBCON Update

Well, Dear Readers, it’s happened again. I have bowed to the inevitable and decided that it’s time once again to modify my DUMBCON scale and reset the current DUMBCON level.

For those of you unfamiliar with the history, this is the story of why I developed the DUMBCON* scale. If you are already familiar with the history, just scroll down to the detailed discussion of the new scale …

In July of 2009 I realized that things in America had become so stupid that there was a need for a scale with which to measure and describe the prevailing level of stupidity among my fellow citizens. I used as my model the five-stage “Defense Condition" (or "DEFCON") scale used by the military services to set their level of readiness in response to world conditions. I called my scale the National Stupidity Condition Index, or DUMBCON, and set the initial level at DUMBCON 1 - the highest level**. I bypassed all the lesser levels just on principle.

The original DUMBCON structure served well until January of 2013, when I found it necessary to add a sixth level – DUMBCON 0 - to accommodate surging levels of national stupidity.

But such was the ever-increasing spread of stupidity that I was forced, a mere ten months later, to add a seventh level – DUMBCON -1 (Minus One).

Less than three years later, on December 21st of 2016, in response to the rampant dumbassery of the presidential campaign, I added an eighth level – DUMBCON -2 (Minus Two).

After adding the eighth level, I tried to be optimistic and positive, figuring that things just had to get better … but a mere six months later I recognized that the country I love had grown so appallingly stupid that eight levels of stupidity were no longer enough to measure it. Thus, in June of 2017 I modified the scale yet again to add a much-needed ninth level - DUMBCON -3 (Minus 3).

Thirteen months later, in July of 2018, such was the state of the world that I decided to add an unprecedented tenth level – DUMBCON -4 (Minus 4). At this point, we had finally exceeded the number of levels in Dante’s Hell.

A year and a half or so later, in March, 2020, I thought that the DUMBCON structure had become too large and unwieldy, and contained more levels than necessary or useful. I decided to reset the structure and the level to its original 2009 state of DUMBCON 1.

But less than a year later, with a sitting president who was at best clueless and at worst insane, tens of millions of Americans who believe the most ridiculous of conspiracy theories, a pandemic – downplayed by Der Furor and ignored by his followers – that had killed more than 375,000 Americans in less than a year, our international standing reduced to the level of “laughingstock,” and a Capitol building that had been stormed and ransacked by a mob clad in Der Furor’s regalia, waving his flags, and caught on video beating a police officer with an American flag, I decided to return to the ten-level DUMBCON structure of 2018, and reset the national DUMBCON level to Minus Four.

Well, that was then, and this is now.

Even at my most cynical depths of despair over the state of the nation's behavior, I could not have imagined the astounding level of ass-clownery that continues to grow unchecked, fueled by a noisy, disgraced former president and a political party that has become so unhinged, divorced from reality, and desperate to retain power that it ignores law, custom, and basic fairness and refuses even to debate important issues***. Nevertheless, the ten-level DUMBCON system of 2018 has grown too large and cumbersome, and given that I see little chance in the foreseeable future that the level will be set at anything other than the maximum ... why bother maintaining and updating a bunch of levels I'm never likely to invoke?

Therefore, after much thought and discussion with friends whose opinions I respect (thanks Gail, Dave, Mike, and Shawna!), I have decided to return permanently to the six-level DUMBCON structure of 2013 (which added the Zero Level), with the levels redefined as shown:

DUMBCON 5 (Code Green) - ordinary, day-to-day stupidity. Congress is in session, but accomplishes little of substance. People pay attention to the likes of Rudy Giuliani, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Tucker Carlson, and Louis Gohmert. Companies plaster thick layers of warning labels on products in an attempt to avoid lawsuits from people injured through their own stupidity.

DUMBCON 4 (Code Blue) - things are more stupid than usual. People refer to the deadly Capitol riots of January 6th, 2021, as "a normal tourist day." Congressional Republicans object to voting rights legislation as unconstitutional, but appear somehow to have missed Article 1, Section 4 of the Constitution. People invoke "personal freedom" rather than "responsibility" by refusing to be vaccinated against a deadly disease that has killed more than 850,000 Americans in a single year.

DUMBCON 3 (Code Yellow) - things are getting pretty stupid. Despite mountains of historical evidence, people continue to deny the Holocaust. Large numbers of "Christians" exhibit behavior the complete opposite of that advocated by Jesus Christ. Conservative politicians insist on dismantling the "administrative state" because only Congress can create and enforce rules and regulations, but Congress cannot even pass a budget, much less create and enforce necessary rules and regulations.

DUMBCON 2 (Code Magenta) - start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People get their information from outlets like Fox, OANN, and Newsmax. People not only deny the reality of the Holocaust, but compare vaccination against Covid-19 to genocidal mass murder. Ninety-seven percent of serious scientists agree that climate change is a clear and present danger, but conservatives refuse to accept it because "the science isn't settled." After each mass murder by gunfire, Second Amendment zealots claim that guns are irrelevant to the discussion, and that mass murderers without guns would just line up their victims and strangle them individually or something. 

DUMBCON 1 (Code Orange) - more stupid than you can imagine. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows****. Businesses raise prices because of "increased costs," but demand their employees accept pay and benefits cuts to keep costs low and protect profits. The GOP continues to demand repeal or replacement of the Affordable Care Act, but offers nothing to replace it. People equate the wearing of protective masks or presentation of proof of vaccination to the genocidal Nazi persecution of Jews during the Holocaust.

DUMBCON 0 (Code Red) - A level of stupidity far exceeding your worst nightmares. People drink their own urine or demand doses of horse dewormer rather than take life-saving vaccines against Covid-19. "Constitutional sheriffs" claim the authority to interpret the constitutionality of laws and decide which ones they will enforce. Conservative activists insist that a government that can't pass a budget - or agree on anything at all - is hell-bent on confiscating weapons from the most heavily-armed population on earth.

My original inclination was to keep the DUMBCON level at Zero (Code Red), but following lengthy discussion with my advisors, I have decided to reset it to DUMBCON Two (Code Magenta) to provide headroom for all-but-certain spikes in the future.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we have gone to DUMBCON Two. Do your part to keep it from going higher.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Do not confuse the DUMBCON Scale with the Gohmert Stupidity Scale. The former is a measure of overall national stupidity, while the latter is an estimate of the stupidity of individual persons or groups.

** My friend Dave recommended that I reverse the order of the levels for clarity, making 1 the lowest level and 5 the highest. Although that suggestion has merit, I have decided to retain the present arrangement so as to maintain the congruence with the military system on which it is based. Should I need to recalibrate or redefine the system again later, I may reconsider the suggestion at that time.

*** Volume and repetition have replaced rational debate for Republicans in or seeking office. You may have seen that the Republican National Committee now wants to prohibit its candidates from participating in future Presidential Debates. If you don't have any ideas to defend, why embarrass yourself by exposing your intellectual sloth in a debate?

**** Do not attempt to hide under products produced by "My Pillow," as they will just make things worse.

DUMBCON Update

Well, Dear Readers, it’s finally happened. I have bowed to the inevitable and decided that it’s time once again to modify my DUMBCON scale and reset the current DUMBCON level.

If you’re a first-time visitor here, this is the story of why I developed the DUMBCON scale …

In July of 2009 I realized that things in America had become so stupid that there was a need for a scale with which to measure and describe the prevailing level of stupidity among my fellow citizens. I used as my model the five-stage “Defense Condition" (or "DEFCON") scale used by the military services to set their level of readiness in response to world conditions. I called my scale the National Stupidity Condition Index, or DUMBCON, and set the initial level at DUMBCON 1 - the highest level. I bypassed all the lesser levels just on principle.

The original DUMBCON structure served well until January of 2013, when I found it necessary to add a sixth level – DUMBCON 0 - to accommodate surging levels of national stupidity.

But such was the ever-increasing degree of stupidity that I was forced, a mere ten months later, to add a seventh level – DUMBCON -1 (Minus One).

Less than three years later, on December 21st of 2016, in response to the ludicrous chicanery of the presidential campaign, I added an eighth level – DUMBCON -2 (Minus Two).

After adding the eighth level, I tried to be optimistic and positive, figuring that things just had to get better … but a mere six months later I recognized that the country I love had grown so appallingly stupid that eight levels of stupidity were no longer enough to measure it. Thus, in June of 2017 I modified the scale yet again to add a much-needed ninth level - DUMBCON -3 (Minus 3).

Thirteen months later, in July of 2018, such was the state of the world that I decided to add an unprecedented tenth level – DUMBCON -4 (Minus 4). Yes, Dear Readers, we had finally exceeded the number of levels in Dante’s Hell.

A year and a half or so later, in March, 2020, I thought that my DUMBCON structure had become too large and unwieldy, and contained too many unused levels. I decided to reset the structure and the level to its original 2009 state, and we have been at DUMBCON 1 since then.

But here we are, less than a year later, with a sitting president who is at best clueless and at worst insane, tens of millions of Americans who believe the most ridiculous of conspiracy theories, a pandemic – downplayed by Der Furor and ignored by his followers – that has killed more than 375,000 Americans in less than a year, our international standing reduced to the level of “laughingstock,” and a Capitol building that has been stormed and ransacked by a mob clad in Der Furor’s regalia and waving his flags ... caught on video beating a police officer with an American flag.

I don’t know if any scale can effectively capture the level of dangerous stupidity that is convulsing the country I love, but I now know that my decision last spring to revert to the initial structure was wildly wrong.

Effective immediately, we are returning to the ten-level DUMBCON structure of 2018, and resetting the national DUMBCON level to Minus Four:

Here is my updated explanation of each level and it’s descriptive colors ...

DUMBCON 5 (Code Green) - ordinary, day-to-day stupidity. Congress is in session; people continue to pay attention to ludicrous personalities like Rudy Giuliani, Lin Wood, Rush Limbaugh, Tucker Carlson, and Louis Gomert; companies plaster thick layers of warning labels on products in an attempt to avoid lawsuits from people injured through their own stupidity.

DUMBCON 4 (Code Blue) - things are more stupid than usual. Congress ignores the blatant criminality and incompetence of Der Furor and his lackeys in favor of the assembly-line production of conservative judges and tax cuts for those who don’t need them.

DUMBCON 3 (Code Yellow) - things are getting pretty stupid. People continue to deny the Holocaust. Kim Jong-un looks like more of a statesman than Der Furor.

DUMBCON 2 (Code Magenta) - start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People continue to believe clueless blowhards like Alex Jones. Crazy persons use firearms to kill large numbers of people, and the NRA says that the guns are irrelevant to the discussion, that killers would just smother their victims with pillows or something. Ninety-seven percent of serious scientists agree that climate change is a real threat, but conservatives refuse to accept it because "the science isn't settled."

DUMBCON 1 (Code Orange) - stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows. Businesses increase prices because of "increased costs," but your employer wants you to accept wage cuts and IOUs or he'll send your jobs to Mexico. The GOP thunders about the immediate need to “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act, but offers no replacement. People insist that wearing cloth masks – a simple measure for protection against the danger of Covid-19 – is an unconstitutional and blatant violation of their God-given personal rights and freedoms, second only to their sacred rights under the Second Amendment.

DUMBCON 0 (Code Red) - A level of stupidity far exceeding your worst nightmares. Q-Anon supporters wholeheartedly buy into a ludicrous conspiracy theory that even the least-educated, religiously hidebound person in the Middle East wouldn't accept; local sheriffs announce that they will decide on their own authority which laws are constitutional and will be enforced; and people actually believe that a government that can't pass a budget - or agree on anything at all - will somehow be able to get its act together enough to confiscate weapons from the most heavily-armed population on earth.

DUMBCON -1 (Code Scarlet) - A level of stupidity so far exceeding your worst nightmares that all you can do is hide under the bed and pray. Ultra-conservative members of Congress sincerely believe nothing bad would happen if the government defaults on its debts; Congress, egged on by the far-right wing of the GOP, throws hundreds of thousands of government workers out without pay while forcing others to work without any guarantee that they’ll ever be paid ... but insists that the Constitution says members of Congress must continue to be paid no matter what; and the House, the Senate, and the President unite to replace Italian government as the poster child for dysfunctional rule.

DUMBCON -2 (Code Brown) – A level of stupidity that makes you wonder who comes up with all this s**t. Tens of millions of Americans once again vote for a manifestly unqualified megalomaniac as president and accept that he governs via Twitter rants and childish insults (piously intoning that “I don’t like everything he says, but I like what he does”). Courtesy and civility have almost completely disappeared from public discourse. Credulous Americans accept without the least shred of proof Der Furor’s drumbeat assertion that the 2020 election was “stolen” from him, and believe only “news” presented by organizations and websites so far to the right of Faux News that they are in risk of falling off the edge of the flat earth in which some Americans, amazingly enough, still believe. When a howling mob of his supporters storms and ransacks the Capitol in Washington and threatens to kill House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and hang Vice President Mike Pence, Der Furor tells the mob “we love you” and “you are very special,” worrying only that the screaming mob looked “low-class.”

DUMBCON -3 (Code Gray) – Oy. Just, oy. A Republican congressman from Michigan says there’s no need for science-based policy measures because God will take care of any climate change problems.

DUMBCON -4 (Code Black) – Hiding under the bed and praying is no longer enough; it’s time to invest in a seat on Elon Musk's planned one-way manned expedition to Mars. Republican voters elect candidates who are avowed white supremacists, Nazis, and deniers of basic scientific facts. Despite the fact that the mob which vandalized the US Capitol was mainly dressed in Der Furor’s campaign regalia and MAGA hats and waving vast numbers of his flags, Republicans claim that “Antifa” and Black Lives Matter social justice protesters were actually responsible for the deadly riot and accompanying destruction. Even after having to cower under their desks in fear of a howling mob, eight senators and 140 representatives continued to object to the reality of an election their candidate lost by more than seven million votes. The last shreds of courtesy and civility have disappeared, exemplified by a mob that cannot put together a sentence that does not contain at least three screamed iterations of “F**K YOU!!”

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we are returning to DUMBCON Minus Four.

God help us.

Have as good a day as you can. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Time to Update the DUMBCON Structure

Sadly, Dear Readers, it’s happened again. I have once more bowed to the inevitable and decided that it’s time to update my DUMBCON scale. The reasons should be obvious to any of you who pay attention to the world around you.

If you’re a first-time visitor to my blog, or if you need a history refresher, here’s the story of why I developed the DUMBCON scale and how we got to where we are today …

In July of 2009 I realized that things in America had become so stupid that there was a need for a scale with which to measure and describe the national stupidity level. I used as my model the five-stage “Defense Condition" (or "DEFCON") scale used by the military services to set their level of readiness in response to world conditions. I called my scale the National Stupidity Condition Level, or DUMBCON, and set the initial level at DUMBCON 1 - the highest level on a scale of 5 to 1 - recognizing that we'd long passed the need for any lesser levels.

The original DUMBCON structure served well until January of 2013, when I found it necessary to add a sixth level – DUMBCON 0 - to accommodate surging levels of national stupidity.

But such was the ever-increasing degree of stupidity that I was forced, a mere ten months later, to add a seventh level – DUMBCON -1 (Minus One).

Less than three years later, on December 21st of 2016, in response to the election of Der Furor, I added an eighth level – DUMBCON -2 (Minus Two).

After adding the eight level, I tried to be optimistic and positive, figuring that things just had to get better … but a mere six months later I recognized that the country I love had grown so appallingly insane that eight levels of stupidity were no longer enough to measure it. Thus, in July of 2017 I modified the scale yet again to add a much-needed ninth level - DUMBCON -3 (Minus 3).

Thirteen months later, in July, 2018, I decided to add an unprecedented tenth level - DUMBCON -4 (Minus 4). At that point, Dear Readers, we had officially exceeded the number of levels in Dante’s Hell.

And here we are – two years later, three years into the disastrous presidency of Der Furor, and a mere three months into the catastrophic reordering of our lives, economy, and society as a result of the novel coronavirus and our reactions – official and personal – to it. I’m sorry, Friends, but it’s time to rethink the entire DUMBCON scale and concept. My initial thought was to add yet another level, bringing us to a structure of eleven levels, but on reflection I decided that what I needed to do was scrap the entire unwieldy system and start over, revamping the DUMBCON system with a return to the original five levels.

Here is the new DUMBCON scale, effective immediately:

Here is the updated explanation of each level, with a slight revision of the descriptive colors used in earlier versions ...

DUMBCON 5 (Code Green): ordinary, day-to-day level of stupidity. This level has not been used since the administration of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

DUMBCON 4 (Code Blue): things are more stupid than usual. This level has not been seen used the administration of President John F. Kennedy.

DUMBCON 3 (Code Yellow): things are getting pretty stupid. Courtesy and civility begin to disappear from public discourse. Credulous Americans accept without the least shred of proof conspiracy theories that even the least-educated, religiously hidebound person in the Middle East would reject. This level has not been seriously considered for use since the administration of President George W. Bush.

DUMBCON 2 (Code Red): start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People pay attention to clueless blowhards on Fox News and OANN rather than proven experts in the fields of science and medicine. Crazy persons use firearms to murder large numbers of people, and gun rights activists claim that the guns are irrelevant to the discussion, that murderers denied access to guns would just smother their victims with pillows or something. Ninety-seven percent of serious scientists agree that climate change is a real threat, but conservatives refuse to accept it because "the science isn't settled."

DUMBCON 1 (Code Black): stupidity beyond anything you could ever have imagined. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows ... or, better yet, volunteer for that one-way mission to Mars. Der Furor rewrites history on the fly, blatantly denying actions he’s taken and things he’s said that have turned sour, while Vice President Mike Pence misses no opportunity to lavishly praise everything he does. Americans frantically buy up vast quantities of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, then buy vast quantities of guns and ammunition to protect their toilet paper and hand sanitizer from other Americans. Governors and mayors step up to compensate for the lack of leadership at the national level. The House routinely passes legislation which is ignored by a GOP-led Senate focused only on filling judicial slots with the most conservative judges possible and crafting economic aid packages which protect big businesses and special interests rather than everyday American workers. The United States has become a laughingstock, falling far behind other nations in the speed and quality of its response to the pandemic and the delivery of principled and empathetic leadership to citizens anxious for information other than incoherent Twitter tirades.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we are resetting our National Stupidity Level to DUMBCON One.

God help us, because we're not doing a very good job helping each other.

Have a good day, conserve your toilet paper, and wash your hands as often as possible. Be good to each other, from a distance of six feet. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

DUMBCON Update

Well, Dear Readers, it’s finally happened. I have bowed to the inevitable and decided that it’s time once again to modify my DUMBCON scale.

If you’re a first-time visitor to my blog, here’s the story of why I developed the DUMBCON scale and how we got to the point at which it needed ten levels …

In July of 2009 I realized that things in America had become so stupid that there was a need for a scale with which to measure and describe the national stupidity level. I used as my model the five-stage “Defense Condition" (or "DEFCON") scale used by the military services to set their level of readiness in response to world conditions. I called my scale the National Stupidity Condition Index, or DUMBCON, and set the initial level at DUMBCON 1 - the highest level.

The original DUMBCON structure served well until January of 2013, when I found it necessary to add a sixth level – DUMBCON 0 - to accommodate surging levels of national stupidity.

But such was the ever-increasing degree of stupidity that I was forced, a mere ten months later, to add a seventh level – DUMBCON -1 (Minus One).

Less than three years later, on December 21st of 2016, in response to the ludicrous chicanery of the presidential campaign and its results, I added an eighth level – DUMBCON -2 (Minus Two).

After adding the eight level, I tried to be optimistic and positive, figuring that things just had to get better … but a mere six months later I recognized that the country I love had grown so appallingly stupid that eight levels of stupidity were no longer enough to measure it. Thus, in July of 2017 I modified the scale yet again to add a much-needed ninth level - DUMBCON -3 (Minus 3).

And now here we are, thirteen months later, and such is the state of the world that I have decided to add an unprecedented tenth level – DUMBCON MINUS FOUR. Yes, Dear Readers, we have now exceeded the number of levels in Dante’s Hell.

Here is the new DUMBCON scale, effective immediately:

Here is the updated explanation of each level, with a slight revision of the descriptive colors ...

DUMBCON 5 (Code Green) - ordinary, day-to-day level of stupidity. Congress is in session; people continue to listen to rap music; companies plaster thick layers of warning labels on products in an attempt to avoid lawsuits from people injured through their own stupidity.

DUMBCON 4 (Code Blue) - things are more stupid than usual. Congress berates the Defense Department for wasting money but insists on keeping open unneeded military installations which are located in the districts of key lawmakers.

DUMBCON 3 (Code Yellow) - things are getting pretty stupid. People continue to deny the Holocaust. Kim Jong-un petulantly launches a few more missiles because he's not getting what he wants, and alternates with a charm offensive designed to make him look more statesmanlike than the American president.

DUMBCON 2 (Code Magenta) - start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People keep paying attention to clueless blowhards like Alex Jones. Crazy persons use firearms to kill large numbers of people, and the NRA says that the guns are irrelevant to the discussion, that killer would still kill people even if they didn't have guns - they'd just smother them with pillows or something. Ninety-seven percent of serious scientists agree that climate change is a real threat, but conservatives refuse to accept it because "the science isn't settled."

DUMBCON 1 (Code Orange) - stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows. Businesses increase prices because of "increased costs," but your employer wants you to accept wage cuts and IOUs or he'll send your jobs to Mexico. The GOP thunders about the immediate need to “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act, but its proposed replacement – the so-called “American Health Care Act” – is worse. Congress goes into recess, having accomplished nothing ... and nobody notices.

DUMBCON 0 (Code Red) - A level of stupidity far exceeding your worst nightmares. People wholeheartedly buy into ludicrous conspiracy theories that even the least-educated, religiously hidebound person in the Middle East wouldn't accept; local sheriffs announce that they will decide on their own authority which laws are constitutional and will be enforced; and people actually believe that a government that can't even pass a budget - or agree on anything at all - will somehow be able to get its act together enough to confiscate weapons from the most heavily-armed population on earth.

DUMBCON -1 (Code Scarlet) - A level of stupidity so far exceeding your worst nightmares that all you can do is hide under the bed and pray. Ultra-conservative members of Congress sincerely believe nothing bad would happen if the government defaults on its debts; Congress, egged on by the far-right wing of the GOP, throws hundreds of thousands of government workers out without pay while forcing others to work without any guarantee that they’ll ever be paid ... but insists that the Constitution says members of Congress must continue to be paid no matter what; and the House, the Senate, and the President unite to replace Italian government as the poster child for dysfunctional rule.

DUMBCON -2 (Code Brown) – A level of stupidity that makes you wonder who comes up with all this s**t. Americans elect a manifestly unqualified megalomaniac as president and accept that he plans to govern via Twitter rants and childish insults. Courtesy and civility have almost completely disappeared from public discourse. Credulous Americans accept without the least shred of proof the most outrageous and improbable of conspiracy theories and believe only “news” presented by organizations and websites that confirm their own outlandish beliefs. Citing “national security” as an excuse, Donald Trump imposes tariffs on steel and aluminum imports which trigger a trade war and alienate key allies.

DUMBCON -3 (Code Gray) – Citing false and misinterpreted data and statistics, Donald Trump pulls the country out of the Paris Climate Accords, after returning from an overseas trip in which he gratuitously insulted allies and cozied up to authoritarian rulers. A ranting right-wing moron in Oregon murders two men who tried to keep him from assaulting two young women because were Muslims, and Donald Trump simply calls it "unacceptable." A Republican congressman from Michigan says there’s no need for science-based policy measures because God will take care of any climate change problems.

DUMBCON -4 (Code Black) – Hiding under the bed and praying is no longer enough; it’s time to invest in a seat on Elon Musk's planned one-way manned expedition to Mars. The GOP puts forward candidates who are avowed white supremacists, avowed Nazis, and deniers of basic scientific facts. The Democrats, responding to Republican actions, continue a slide to a far left as ridiculous as the far right. Both parties have resorted to shouted slogans and blatant ignorance rather than rational policy. The level of governmental hypocrisy has risen to historic levels, exemplified by the smug position of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell on Supreme Court nominations in an election year. The last shreds of courtesy and civility have disappeared from public discourse.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we are going to DUMBCON Minus Four.

God help us.

Have as good a day as you can. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

DUMBCON Update

If you’re a first-time visitor to my blog, you may want to take a moment and look up to the upper left corner of the screen, where the “DUMBCON Level” is noted. Here’s the history of that notice … and word of the latest update.

Back in July of 2009 I realized that things in America had become so stupid that there was a need for a scale with which to measure the national stupidity level. I used as my model the five-stage “Defense Condition" (or "DEFCON") scale used by the military services to set their level of readiness in response to world conditions. I called my scale the National Stupidity Condition Index, or DUMBCON, and set the level at DUMBCON 1.

The original DUMBCON structure served well until January of 2013, when I found it necessary to add a sixth level – DUMBCON 0 - to accommodate surging levels of national stupidity.

But such was the ever-increasing degree of stupidity that I was forced, a mere ten months later, to add a seventh level – DUMBCON -1.

Less than three years later, on December 21st of 2016, in response to the ludicrous chicanery of the presidential campaign and its results, I added an eighth level – DUMBCON -2.

Since that unhappy time I have been sorely tempted to add a ninth level, but I’ve always talked myself out of it. I've tried to be optimistic and positive, figuring that things just had to get better … but I have finally accepted - after less than six months - that the country I love has grown so appallingly stupid that eight levels of stupidity are no longer enough to measure it.

With that sad fact in mind, I have decided to modify the DUMBCON scale to add DUMBCON MINUS THREE - a much-needed ninth level*.

Here is the new DUMBCON scale, effective immediately:

And here is the updated explanation of each level ...

DUMBCON 5 (Code Green) - ordinary, day-to-day level of stupidity. Congress is in session; people continue to listen to rap music; companies plaster all sorts of warning labels on products in an attempt to avoid lawsuits from people injured through their own stupidity.

DUMBCON 4 (Code Blue) - things are more stupid than usual. Congress berates the Defense Department for wasting money, but insists on keeping open military installations which are not needed, but are located in the districts of key lawmakers.

DUMBCON 3 (Code Yellow) - things are getting pretty stupid. People continue to deny the Holocaust. Kim Jong-un petulantly launches a few more missiles because he's not getting what he wants.

DUMBCON 2 (Code Magenta) - start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People keep paying attention to clueless blowhards like Ann Coulter and Alex Jones. Crazy persons use firearms to kill large numbers of people, and the NRA says that the guns are irrelevant to the discussion, that killer would still kill people even if they didn't have guns - they'd just smother them with pillows or something. Ninety-seven percent of serious scientists agree that climate change is a real threat, but conservatives refuse to accept it because "the science isn't settled."

DUMBCON 1 (Code Orange) - stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows. Businesses increase prices because of "increased costs," but your employer wants you to accept wage cuts and IOUs or he'll send your jobs to Mexico. The GOP thunders about the immediate need to “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act, but its proposed replacement – the so-called “American Health Care Act” – is worse. Congress goes into recess, having accomplished nothing ... and nobody notices.

DUMBCON 0 (Code Red) - A level of stupidity far exceeding your worst nightmares. People wholeheartedly buy into ludicrous conspiracy theories that even the least-educated, religiously hidebound person in the Middle East wouldn't accept; local sheriffs announce that they will decide on their own authority which laws are constitutional and will be enforced; and people actually believe that a government that can't even pass a budget - or agree on anything at all - will somehow be able to get its act together enough to confiscate weapons from the most heavily-armed population on earth.

DUMBCON -1 (Code Scarlet) - A level of stupidity so far exceeding your worst nightmares that all you can do is hide under the bed and pray. Ultra-conservative members of Congress sincerely believe nothing bad would happen if the government defaults on its debts; Congress, egged on by the far-right wing of the GOP, throws hundreds of thousands of government workers out without pay while forcing others to work without any guarantee that they’ll ever be paid ... but insists that the Constitution says members of Congress must continue to be paid no matter what; and the House, the Senate, and the President unite to replace Italian government as the poster child for dysfunctional rule.

DUMBCON -2 (Code Brown) – A level of stupidity that makes you wonder who comes up with all this s**t. Americans elect a manifestly unqualified megalomaniac as president and accept that he plans to govern via Twitter rants, 140 characters at a time. Courtesy and civility have almost completely disappeared from public discourse. Credulous Americans accept without the least shred of proof the most outrageous and improbable of conspiracy theories, and believe only “news” presented by organizations and websites that confirm their own outlandish beliefs.

DUMBCON -3 (Code Black) – Hiding under the bed and praying is no longer enough; it’s time to invest in a seat on Elon Musk's planned one-way manned expedition to Mars. Citing false and misinterpreted data and statistics, Donald Trump pulls the country out of the Paris Climate Accords, after returning from an overseas trip in which he gratuitously insulted allies and cozied up to authoritarian rulers. A ranting right-wing moron in Oregon murders two men who tried to keep him from assaulting two young women because were Muslims, and Donald Trump calls it "unacceptable." A Republican congressman from Michigan says there’s no need for science-based policy measures because God can take care of any climate change problems. The last shreds of courtesy and civility have disappeared from public discourse.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we are going to DUMBCON Minus Three.

God help us.

Have as good a day as you can. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* We’ve now caught up to the number of levels in Dante’s Hell.

DUMBCON Update

Those of you who have been with me for a while know that back in July of 2009 I realized that things in America had become so stupid that there was a need for a scale with which to measure the national stupidity level. I used as my model the five-stage “Defense Condition" (or "DEFCON") scale used by the military services to set their level of readiness in response to world conditions. I called my scale the National Stupidity Condition Index, or DUMBCON.

The original DUMBCON structure served well until January of 2013, when I found it necessary to add a sixth level – DUMBCON 0 - to accommodate surging levels of national stupidity.

But such was the ever-increasing degree of stupidity that I was forced, a mere ten months later, to add a seventh level – DUMBCON -1.

Since that time, I have often considered adding an eighth level, but I’ve always talked myself out of it. I've tried to be optimistic and positive, figuring that things just had to get better … but I have finally accepted that Americans have grown so appallingly stupid that seven levels of stupidity are no longer enough.

With that sad fact in mind, I have decided to modify the DUMBCON scale to add a much-needed eighth level*; in addition, I have modified the colors assigned to the eight levels to better reflect the new situation in the nation and the world.

Here is the new DUMBCON scale, effective immediately:

And here is the updated explanation of each level ...

DUMBCON 5 (Code Green) - ordinary, day-to-day level of stupidity. Congress is in session; people continue to listen to rap music; companies plaster all sorts of warning labels on products in an attempt to avoid lawsuits from people injured through their own stupidity.

DUMBCON 4 (Code Blue) - things are more stupid than usual. Congress berates the Defense Department for wasting money, but insists on keeping open military installations which are not needed, but are located in the districts of key lawmakers.

DUMBCON 3 (Code Yellow) - things are getting pretty stupid. People continue to deny the Holocaust. Kim Jong-un petulantly launches a few more missiles because he's not getting what he wants.

DUMBCON 2 (Code Magenta) - start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People keep listening to clueless blowhards like Ann Coulter and Alex Jones. Crazy persons use firearms to kill large numbers of people, and the NRA says that the guns are irrelevant to the discussion, that killer would still kill people even if they didn't have guns - they'd just smother them with pillows or something. Ninety-seven percent of serious scientists agree that climate change is a real threat, but conservatives refuse to accept it because "the science isn't settled."

DUMBCON 1 (Code Orange) - stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows. Businesses increase prices because of "increased costs," but your employer wants you to accept wage cuts and IOUs or he'll send your jobs to Mexico. The GOP thunders about the immediate need to “repeal and replace” the Affordable Care Act, but has no coherent plan for the “replace” part. Congress adjourns, having accomplished nothing ... and nobody notices.

DUMBCON 0 (Code Red) - A level of stupidity far exceeding your worst nightmares. People wholeheartedly buy into ludicrous conspiracy theories that even the least-educated, religiously hidebound person in the Middle East wouldn't accept; local sheriffs announce that they will decide on their own authority which laws are constitutional and will be enforced; and people actually believe that a government that can't even pass a budget - or agree on anything at all - will somehow be able to get its act together enough to confiscate weapons from the most heavily-armed population on earth.

DUMBCON -1 (Code Scarlet) - A level of stupidity so far exceeding your worst nightmares that all you can do is hide under the bed and pray. Ultra-conservative members of Congress sincerely believe nothing bad would happen if the government defaults on its debts; Congress, egged on by the far-right wing of the GOP, throws hundreds of thousands of government workers out without pay while forcing others to work without any guarantee that they’ll ever be paid ... but insists that the Constitution says members of Congress must continue to be paid no matter what; and the House, the Senate, and the President unite to replace Italian government as the poster child for dysfunctional rule.

DUMBCON -2 (Code Black) – Hiding under the bed and praying is no longer enough; it’s time to invest in a seat on Elon Musk's planned one-way manned expedition to Mars. Americans elect a manifestly unqualified megalomaniac as president and accept that he plans to govern via Twitter rants, 140 characters at a time. Despite the frenzied warnings of the far right and eight years of time in which to do it, President Obama fails to confiscate a single gun. Courtesy and civility have almost completely disappeared from public discourse. Credulous Americans accept without the least shred of proof the most outrageous and improbable of conspiracy theories, and believe only “news” presented by organizations and websites that confirm their own outlandish beliefs.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, we are going to DEFCON Minus Two.

God help us.

Have as good a day as you can. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Dante's Hell only had nine levels.

Time to Dust Off the DUMBCON Structure

You're all familiar with my DUMBCON system - my measure of the national stupidity index. If you are new to my blog, or need a refresher, just look over at the left side of the screen and you can see the DUMBCON chart. Take a minute and look it over ... I'll wait.

That ought to tell you something about my view of the world, eh?

When I first set up the DUMBCON structure, there were five levels, designed to parallel the military's Defense Condition (or DEFCON) structure ... DUMBCON 5 was the lowest level of day-to-day stupidity, while DUMBCON 1 was the highest, generally equivalent to 24-hour political campaigning ...

That arrangement worked well enough until the level of stupidity started climbing at an unprecedented rate, and so in January of 2013 I was forced to add a new level beyond DUMBCON 1 - DUMBCON 0 - to account for things like the "truther" movement whose adherents believed that the US government had masterminded the massacre of elementary school children in Connecticut ...

But even DUMBCON ZERO wasn't enough to keep pace with the ever-accelerating level of stupidity, and in October of 2013, in response to things like Congress actually toying with the idea of shutting the government down and defaulting on its debts out of sheer spite and malice, I added yet another level to the chart - DUMBCON -1 (MINUS ONE), where we have been ever since.

Unfortunately, even the addition of a seventh level of stupidity measurement isn't enough any more. I have actually been considering adding an eighth level - DUMBCON -2 (MINUS TWO) - to account for things like the GOP fixation on Benghazi and all-consuming hatred of the President, climate change deniers, and the passage in Georgia last month of the "Safe Carry Protection Act," better known as the "Guns Everywhere Law" which allows the open carry of loaded guns virtually everywhere in the state ... except for the state capitol building, go figure.

I'm reluctant to add yet another DUMBCON level to the chart because I'm afraid it would just encourage brainless dumbasses everywhere to strive for ever-higher levels of ass clownery, driving us into a never-ending inflationary spiral of stupidity.

Oh.

But we're already there.

Never mind.

Dear Readers, for the time being, we'll stick with DUMBCON -1. But I'm sorely tempted ...

Have a good day. Try not to add to the historic levels of stupidity - Congress is already doing a good enough job, and I have better things to do than generate a new change to the DUMBCON index.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Bilbo's DUMBCON Structure, Updated for the Second Time This Year

You will recall, Dear Readers, that we have been at National Stupidity Condition (DUMBCON) 0 - the highest level – since January of this year, when I was forced by the prevailing level of stupidity to change my system and raise the highest possible level from 1 to 0. Unfortunately, the level of previously unimaginable ass clownery coming from people who should know better – predominately members of Congress who are supposed to act like responsible adults – has led me to realize that even a DUMBCON level of zero is not high enough to express the current degree of national stupidity. The ass clownery to which I refer includes, of course, the literally unbelievable sight of Congress actually toying with the idea of allowing the nation to default on its debts … an act that would have worldwide economic consequences of nearly biblical proportions.

We live, sadly, in a world in which truth no longer has any meaning, and the most utterly ludicrous theories have an Internet and a news outlet* to spread and encourage them. We are surrounded by people so impervious to reason, common sense, compassion, and common humanity that they cannot accept any information that does not confirm their True Beliefs ... their clue chutes are shut, locked, bolted from the inside, welded shut, painted over, and protected by an impenetrable force field of complete and utter righteousness previously found only in the worst of religious bigots. And it's getting worse all the time.

Therefore, I have decided to revise and update the DUMBCON structure yet again to include a level of stupidity beyond the original top end of DUMBCON 0.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are going to

DUMBCON MINUS ONE!

Here are the new DUMBCON levels, effective immediately:

DUMBCON 5 (Code Green) - Ordinary, day-to-day level of stupidity. People actually pay attention to clueless twits like E.W. Jackson**, any Middle Eastern "religious leader," Ted Cruz, or anyone from the Tea Party; Lindsey Lohan is arrested again for something or other; people continue to listen to rap music and to give a rat's ass about anyone named Kardashian. Congress is in session.

DUMBCON 4 (Code Blue) - Things are more stupid than usual. Congressional Republicans and Democrats blame each other for the crisis du jour; Congress continues to spend money on military equipment the services don't want, but which are built in the districts of key lawmakers; foreign leaders make lengthy speeches blaming the US for everything wrong in the world back to the extinction of the dinosaurs; another al Qaeda offshoot springs up, engages in kidnapping and massacre in the name of religion, and gets 24/7 fawning air time on al-Jazeera television.

DUMBCON 3 (Code Yellow) - Things are getting pretty stupid. Congressional Republicans threaten to shut down the government if they don't get their way; mindless ass clowns continue to insist that President Obama was actually born in a stone cottage in Tierra del Fuego despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary; hard-core conservatives of the Tea Party continue to believe that all will be well if we just get rid of unions, eliminate all spending on social programs, and slash taxes on businesses and the wealthy; and Democrats continue to believe ... well ... whatever it is they believe in (they're still not sure themselves).

DUMBCON 2 (Code Magenta) - start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People continue to believe Faux News is "fair and balanced;" a lunatic massacres 20 children and six adults at an elementary school, and the NRA says the answer to gun violence is ... more guns; the EPA accepts industry threats about the economic consequences of being required to clean up toxic wastes and emissions, and dutifully waters down the latest set of proposed environmental protection standards.

DUMBCON 1 (Code Red) - Stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows. Businesses increase prices to cover their "increased costs," but demand their employees accept wage cuts that will prevent them from buying the products they make; Republicans in Congress actually shut down the government because they didn't get their way, then blame federal employees for the results.

DUMBCON 0 (Code Orange) - A level of stupidity far exceeding your worst nightmares. People wholeheartedly buy into ludicrous conspiracy theories that even the least-educated, most religiously hidebound person in the Middle East wouldn't accept; local sheriffs announce that they will decide on their own authority which laws are constitutional and will be enforced; and people actually believe that a Congress that can't even come close to doing its job will somehow be able to get its act enough together to rescind the Second Amendment and confiscate all the weapons from the most heavily-armed population on earth.

DUMBCON -1 (Code Black) - A level of stupidity so far exceeding your worst nightmares that all you can do is hide under the bed and pray. Ultra-conservative members of Congress sincerely believe nothing bad would happen if the government defaults on its debts; Congress, egged on by the far-right wing of the GOP, throws hundreds of thousands of government workers out without pay while forcing others to work without any guarantee that they’ll ever be paid ... and insists that the Constitution says members of Congress must continue to be paid no matter what; and the House, the Senate, and the President play the ultimate game of chicken with the livelihood of the American people and the future of their children, and replace Italian government as the poster child for dysfunctional rule.

We're at DUMBCON MINUS ONE, Dear Readers, and I'm afraid we're going to be here for a long, long time.

Have a good day, but keep your head down. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* That would be Faux News.

** Brain-dead candidate for Lieutenant Governor in Virginia.