Monday, October 05, 2009

40th Reunion

The good news is that Agnes and I are home from our visit to Pittsburgh and the 40th anniversary reunion of the North Allegheny High School class of 1969. We got a chance to visit with my Father and to get re-acquainted with a lot of old (and new) friends I hadn't seen since - in some cases - 1969. I'd missed the 10 and 20 year reunions by being overseas, and some of my old friends didn't make it to the 30-year bash back in 1999, so this one was a real treat, with about 150 members of our graduating class of around 580 in attendance. The only problem was that I spent so much time with some people that I missed the chance to see many others. Here's a picture of the group that met for an impromptu pre-reunion party on Saturday evening...

We had a grand time, and Agnes turned out to be a big hit with everyone. Our only regret was that none of us had thought to bring the lens filters for our cameras that correct for hair color, wrinkles, and other gifts of time and gravity.

But we're back now and the bad news is that, in true Bilbo fashion, I have come down with a terrible cold. The good news is that it doesn't seem to be flu...the bad news is that I still feel like something the cat dragged in, then dragged back out again after getting a look at it in the light. Bummer. Happily, I have enough sick days saved up to pull myself back together again.

So that's all for this morning. If I feel better later on, I may do another post to get back into my grouchy groove, but for now, I'm going back to bed.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Cartoon Sat...uh...Sunday

Wildfires are burning again in California; a study by the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center shows that about 47% of Americans pay no income tax (!); Rio de Janeiro beat out Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics; and eight American soldiers have been killed in an attack on their outpost in Afghanistan.

Better late than never, Cartoon Saturday is here to help you deal with unpleasant reality.

John ought to be able to appreciate this one...

It seems like a good time to take another look at what's left of the economy. The experts say everything is improving, but what do they know? This one about summarizes our retirement portfolio...

And this one seems to summarize the Congressional approach to budgeting...

Economic stimulus is not, as you might believe, a new concept...

And in case you were wondering what data the economic pundits mull over (and how they do it) as they continue to screw up the economy, here's an inside look...

And finally, I've noticed a marked rise in the number of inept street musicians trying to collect contributions around the local metro stops. Some aren't bad, but most are ... well ... awful. This guy has a good concept...

The 40th reunion of my high school graduating class took place yesterday evening, and we all had a ball. It's interesting to see how people change over time, and how the things that may once have divided you don't seem quite so important any more. I've posted an album of reunion photos on my Facebook page where those of you who are interested (and have access) can see the March of the Baby Boomers. It was a great time.

But now the weekend is over and a new week beckons. Oh, well...

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Saturday, October 03, 2009

I Know You Were Expecting Cartoon Saturday, But...

Good morning from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!

Agnes and I are here to visit my father and to attend the 40th reunion of my high school graduating class. That's the good news. The bad news is that we didn't bring my laptop with all my files on it, and so I don't have access to my cartoon library...hence, Cartoon Saturday will appear either late tomorrow or Monday this week. It'll confuse Mike, but I'm sure the rest of you can deal with it.

The reunion is actually tonight, but last night a group of us got together for a pre-reunion reunion. We started at a local pub called The Fox and Hound, which was packed with rowdy 20-somethings loudly celebrating the Steelers or the Penguins or something like that. It was so loud and crowded that we had to move on to the more sedate environs of the Holiday Inn ... a true mark of virtual old-fogie-dom. In spite of the dinner that took more than two hours to arrive, we had a nice time getting re-acquainted, and got a head start on all the picture taking. Last night there were about ten of us grads, plus dates and spouses...tonight we're expecting about 150, so things ought to be interesting. Stay tuned.

I saw this morning that Amanda is back up on the net...good to hear from her and know she's safe after all the flooding and tsunamis and earthquakes and such in her part of the world. In Washington, we don't have tsunamis and earthquakes...we have Congress. Maybe we should trade.

Okay, time to wake Agnes up and get started on a new day. Watch for the rescheduled Cartoon Saturday, and the reunion report, coming to your screen soon.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Friday, October 02, 2009

Will Chicago Host the Olympics?

President Obama has made his speech to the International Olympic Committee in Copenhagen, advocating Chicago as the site of the 2016 Olympic Games. Other cities making the case to host the games are Rio de Janiero, Brazil; Madrid, Spain; and Tokyo, Japan.

Chicago has a lot going for it (especially if you want to pay a parking ticket, which is the only operating link on its web portal as I write this). It has an airport that's already famous for late flights. It has impossible traffic. It has a city government that's already got plenty of experience with corruption. And it has a cheerful, easygoing citizenry.

What does Rio have? Beautiful beaches? Carnival? Gorgeous women? Great food? Who needs all that?

How about Tokyo? I supposed if "wiredness" were an Olympic sport, Tokyo would win hands-down. But Tokyo offers other advantages, like crazy traffic and professional pushers to help cram the largest possible number of people onto packed commuter trains. There's also a vanishingly low crime rate, unless you piss off a yakuza. And where else in the world could you watch game shows like Bikini Rodeo Pie-Fighting?

And Madrid? Well, if you like art, there's the world-famous Prado Museum, but most people who go to the Olympics don't go for the art, and beautiful, friendly cities are a dime a dozen. On the plus side, since everybody in America is now expected to learn Spanish, communication shouldn't be a problem.

Where will the Olympics go? I don't know, and I don't particularly care. My only real interest in the Olympics is that the games seem to provide a lot of great dancers to compete on Dancing with the Stars. So, knock yourself out, Mr President. I, myself, would vote for Rio...but that's just me.

After all, Samba should be an Olympic sport.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

P.S. - Agnes and I will be headed to Pittsburgh later this morning to visit my Dad and to take part in the 40-year reunion of the North Allegheny Senior High class of 1969. I will try to keep the blog and the Facebook page on track, but things may be a bit erratic until Monday. Bear with me. And have a good weekend.

B.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

For Adults Only!

I couldn't possibly pass up this CNN Health article online yesterday - Love, Pleasure, Duty: Why Women Have Sex.

Heck, I know why women have sex: it's their evolutionarily developed way of distracting men so they can get the remote back. Or get chores done.

Seriously, though, this is a topic of sufficient seriousness that two psychologists at the University of Texas at Austin, Professors Cindy Meston and David Buss, have conducted studies and written a book on the subject. The study, conducted between June 2006 and April 2009, asked women whether they had ever had sex for one of 237 (!) reasons, all of which had been identified in a previous study, and about 1,000 women responded. According to one of the study authors,

"Many of the women were having sex purely because they wanted the experience, they wanted the adventure, they wanted to see what it was like to be with men of different ethnicities," (Professor Meston) said. "Some women said they wanted more notches on the belt. They simply wanted to get rid of their virginity."

Had I but known...

A few blinding flashes of the obvious came out of the study as well, such as...

"A study ... showed a strong correlation between how erect a man's penis is and how aroused he says he is."

Hmmm...I wonder if I could get government funding for a study like that...?

It also turns out that sex may also have medicinal value. According to the study results as presented in the book, sex can help some women relax and sleep better, and ease the pain of menstrual cramps and headaches. According to some participants in the survey, these were reasons they had had sex. The article cites another study, from Rutgers University, which found during orgasm, women were able to tolerate 75 percent more pain. One of the authors of the present study said that, although she had not studied this phenomenon in men, she said she would expect sex to have the same effects of reducing headaches and other pain.

Men, has your wife or girlfriend ever asked you, "Please make love to me tonight...I have a headache"?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Well, I would like to think about sex a lot more, but I do have to go to work. Work. It's what men do to earn the money to make themselves attractive to women so they can have sex. It's not quite that simple, but in some cases it's probably pretty close.

I think I'll splash on some of that money-scented cologne before I head out. You never know...

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Three Days to the Reunion...

Now that the G20 Summit is over, my home town of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is gearing up for it's next challenge: this coming Saturday, the North Allegheny Senior High Class of 1969 will hold its 40th (gasp!) reunion. I'm looking forward to seeing many of my old friends again, and playing the "You're WHO???" game, although it should be a bit less shocking than the 30th reunion, because lately we've all been trading pictures on Facebook. All I have to do is keep from embarrassing myself too badly. Agnes will help with that.

Perhaps it's just coincidence, but this wonderful poem appeared today in my daily Writers' Almanac e-mail from Garrison Keillor...

Walking at Night
by Louise Gluck

Now that she is old,
the young men don't approach her
so the nights are free,
the streets at dusk that were so dangerous
have become as safe as the meadow.

By midnight, the town's quiet.
Moonlight reflects off the stone walls;
on the pavement, you can hear the nervous sounds
of the men rushing home to their wives and mothers; this late,
the doors are locked, the windows darkened.

When they pass, they don't notice her.
She's like a dry blade of grass in a field of grasses.
So her eyes that used never to leave the ground
are free now to go where they like.

When she's tired of the streets, in good weather she walks
in the fields where the town ends.
Sometimes, in summer, she goes as far as the river.

The young people used to gather not far from here
but now the river's grown shallow from lack of rain, so
the bank's deserted—

There were picnics then.
The boys and girls eventually paired off;
after a while, they made their way into the woods
where it's always twilight—

The woods would be empty now—
the naked bodies have found other places to hide.

In the river, there's just enough water for the night sky
to make patterns against the gray stones. The moon's bright,
one stone among many others. And the wind rises;
it blows the small trees that grow at the river's edge.

When you look at a body you see a history.
Once that body isn't seen anymore,
the story it tried to tell gets lost—

On nights like this, she'll walk as far as the bridge
before she turns back.
Everything still smells of summer.
And her body begins to seem again the body she had as a young woman,
glistening under the light summer clothing.

When you look at a body you see a history. What a great line! I like to think I've earned every wrinkle, every gray hair, and every creaky joint by living life the best I could. Many posts ago I quoted from a wonderful song by German singer Harald Junke titled Keine Falte tut mir leid that provides a great perspective on getting older. The lyrics read, in part...

Ich sag' Dir keine Falte tut mir leid,
Ich bin ein Mann mit viel Vergangenheit

"I tell you, I'm not sorry for a single wrinkle,
Because I'm a man with a lot of past..."

This weekend, I'll be able to relive a little of that past. Naturally, I'll only remember and reminisce with my friends about the good parts, but that's to be expected. We've all traveled different roads to get to this weekend, and it'll be interesting to share the stories of how we got here.

And we won't ... or most of us won't ... be sorry for any of the wrinkles.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

You, Too, Can Be a General!

Between the end of the Vietnam War and the current unpleasantness in Iraq and Afghanistan, generals - the senior leaders of the armed services - have enjoyed a bit of a boost in recognition, if not outright popularity. General "Stormin' Norman" Schwarzkopf led the allied coalition to victory in the first Gulf War, and now generals like David Petraeus and Stanley McChrystal are household names...generally admired and respected on the Right and viewed with suspicion or outright hostility by the Left.

Regardless of what you may think about them personally, American generals tend to be well-educated, well-trained leaders, respected by their peers in other nations and by the men and women they lead. They don't become generals because of family connections, but because of proven military and political skills. There are exceptions, of course, but these are rare and the American military is led by solid professional soldiers, rather than by the bemedalled and beribboned clothes horses often seen in many Third World armies.

It's a little different in some armies. According to an article in the South China Morning Post titled The Top Brass Who Can't Fight, China's People's Liberation Army (or "PLA") has at least 30 generals who have no leadership or battle training - they are singers, dancers, actresses, or musicians given general's rank as an expression of their perceived value to maintaining the morale of the troops. The practice dates back to the time of Mao Zedong, who recruited entertainers and granted them high ranks for their "revolutionary performances" that boosted the morale of undersupplied and overstressed common soldiers.

The practice continues today, with folk singers and other entertainers receiving general's or admiral's rank for their entertainment and morale value rather than their battle skills. The practice is being criticized in many quarters, but it does have the support of the military. Retired general Xu Guangyu was quoted in the article as saying that the real ranking of these "generals" was different from those of the rest of the army. He characterized the ranks as an "honor ranking designed for professions who make contributions to our army," noting that some top performers were given high rank "in order to guarantee their high salaries, good housing, and other lifelong benefits."

Well, perhaps this is something we should look at here at home. General Edyta Sliwinska could move between "Dancing with the Stars" and the front lines, accompanied by Generals Toby Keith and Angelina Jolie (who at least has combat training from the Laura Croft movies). John Travolta has a pilot's license...he could be an Air Force general. The Navy could be ably led by Admirals like Kanye ("the Russians have a good navy, but ours is better") West. And General Oprah Winfrey could award brand new tanks to deserving soldiers on her program.

The possibilities are endless.

You, too, can be a General! Demand the rank you deserve! Write to your elected reprehensives today ... it's not like they're doing anything else worthwhile.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Monday, September 28, 2009

"A Vast, Right-Wing Conspiracy"

You may recall that former First Lady (now Secretary of State) Hillary Clinton once blamed many of the problems facing her husband as the malign actions of "a vast, right-wing conspiracy." Well, according to former President Clinton, that conspiracy is still alive and well. Speaking yesterday on Meet the Press, Mr Clinton said that "...(the conspiracy is) not as strong as it was, because America's changed demographically, but it's as virulent as it was."

Conspiracy, no.

Strong, no.

Virulent, yes.

If the strength of a movement is based on the strength of its ideas, I think Mr Clinton has grossly overestimated the power of this imagined conspiracy. America has always been a relatively conservative nation, but that conservatism has always been tempered with enough liberal ideas and simple common sense to keep it moving forward and prevent the worst excesses of the extremists on either wing. The extreme right today is an embarrassment, reduced to frantic shouting about the President's birth certificate and the wildest ravings that compare our elected government to that of Nazi Germany. Doonesbury has called it right...

A census worker was murdered in Kentucky, apparently by those who thought his census data collection represented a grave intrusion into personal freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution...that would be the same Constitution that mandates (see Article 1, Section 2) a national census every 10 years to apportion Congressional seats.

Not that the extreme left is much better...it's just that the extreme right is a bit more hysterically loud at the moment.

Pat Paulsen, the wonderfully deadpan comedian who ran for president on the old Smothers Brothers television show, once said, "Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles." He was correct. We need the best ideas of the conservative and the liberal sides of the political debate, without the most outrageous and intolerant excesses of either. One hopes that we'll see that happen soon.

But I'm not holding my breath.

Have a good day. Keep to the center. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Alternate Currency

Yes, I know...today's post is going up much later than normal. Live with it. We were out very late last night at a great birthday party for one of our friends, and - for once - I was able to sleep late this morning. And then was the laundry, and then...well...here I am.

There was a very interesting article in this morning's Washington Post on a topic I'd heard briefly about before, but didn't pay much attention to at the time. The article, by UK-based reporter Karla Adam and titled When Going Gets Tough, Local Currency Gets Going, discussed the growing trend in some communities in Britain of introducing their own local currencies, such as the "Brixton Pound." The alternative currencies are intended only for local use, and to supplement the legal tender represented by the official British Pound. Those who advocate these alternative currencies believe that they will help local communities better weather the economic storms and help boost local businesses.

Now, as I've often admitted, I'm no expert on economics. You could take everything I know about economics, put it in a thimble, and have room enough left over for a herd of elephants and a brass band. If I understood economics, I'd be the one sitting in some idyllic country with no extradition treaties, sipping martinis and laughing at schnooks like me whose savings I'd gutted while leaving the taxpayers stuck with the bill.

No, I'm no expert. But I know a good idea when I see one. Maybe it's time to get rid of the Dollars, Pounds, Yen, Riyals, Euros, Rupees, Shekels, Rubles, Crowns, Pesos, and all that bewildering array of other currencies and replace them with real, meaningful currencies backed by something other than worthless paper generated by amoral criminals armed with degrees in economics. Here are my suggestions for some new, more appropriate units of currency for use by different political parties, industries, localities, etc...

Hard-core, extreme right wing, die-hard conservatives can adopt the Republican, one of which is divided into 100 Rants. The One-Republican coin has John Wayne's picture on the front, and a herd of heavily-armed elephants trampling a middle class on the back.

Liberals can spend the Democrat. One Democrat is divided into 100 Whines. The One-Democrat coin has Nancy Pelosi on the front, and a jackass surrounded by acorns on the back.

You could pay for your health care with a new, specialized unit of currency called the Tumor. One Tumor equals 100 Cysts. The only problem is that nobody wants them to be a publicly available option, so you'd have to buy them from your boss, or from the mint operated by the insurance industry.

Texans could chuck the dollar in favor of the new Texas currency, the Braggart, equal to 100 Exaggerations. Not considered legal tender in Alaska.

Illinois could introduce the Indictment, divided into 100 Subpoenas. I'm not sure whether Al Capone's or Rod Blagoevich's picture should be on the front, but the back shows a finely-engraved image of the Capitol with a small "for sale" sign in front.

What do you think of my idea? Got any other prospective currency ideas of your own? I can't wait to see the comments...

Have a good day. Don't take any wooden nickels. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Cartoon Saturday

The circus must be in town, as Mohammar Gadhafi and Mahmoud Ahmedinejad took time out from their clown act to perform at the United Nations this past week; a woman has given birth to the wrong child, courtesy of a hospital mix-up in which the wrong embryo was implanted into her womb; service continues to be a top priority at DC Metro rail, where a station shut down for the night and locked its gates before the last train arrived, stranding several passengers; and the G20 economic summit took place in Pittsburgh this week, providing a new opportunity for anarchists and buffoons of all sorts to rally in a new place.

It's all right...Cartoon Saturday is here to kiss your intellectual boo-boos and make them better.

You need to have a license to drive, hunt, fish, get married, run a business, and just about anything else. Sadly, there are some things that don't require a license...
Prophets of gloom and doom aren't always funny, but sometimes they just hit you the right way...

You know things are getting bad when the cars are smarter than the drivers...

Tom the Dancing Bug takes on every loudmouthed buffoon you can imagine in this wonderful summary of the health care "debate"...

And finally, from the Department of Be Careful What You Wish For, Because You Might Get It"...

We are now exactly one week from the much-anticipated 40th reunion of the Class of 1969, at which we'll all come together to try to figure out who all these geezers are who have taken the places of the buff young studs and babes that marched out the high school doors in the summer of that fateful year. It's gonna be interesting...

Have a good weekend. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo