Constructively Worrying About the Right Things

There have been several very interesting articles written recently concerning the various problems we face today in America. Of course, it's easy to write articles (and blog posts!), but much harder to actually solve the problems; nevertheless, it's not always a bad thing to step back and take a look at ourselves and the country we're making ... or throwing away, depending on your point of view.

Here is a wonderful quote from an Economist article about the foolish idea of the trillion-dollar coin* as a deus ex machina solution to our economic woes:

"The American habit of making a fetish of their written constitution tends to blind them to the fact that power is constrained at last by conscience, convention, and credible threats of social, institutional, and physical reprisal, not paper law."

Hard-core conservatives thunder endlessly about the all-but-Koranic sanctity of the Constitution and the near-Mohammedan wisdom and perfection of the Founders, but I'm not at all sure they understand what it really means in terms of running a country in the 21st century.

At the moment, the Second Amendment is getting most of the attention on the Far Right - a screaming passion that often goes beyond reason and good sense and is based on the perceived need for possession of firearms as protection against the power of a tyrannical government. Consider just two of the things that have happened recently:

A former Marine sent a letter to Senator Diane Feinstein, strongly defending his right to own any type of weapon without restriction.

Ultraconservative talk show host Alex Jones engaged in a lengthy rant on the Piers Morgan Tonight show, excoriating Mr Morgan over his advocacy of gun control. Among other things, Mr Jones said**,

"1776 will commence again if you try to take our firearms! It doesn't matter how many lemmings you get out on the street begging for them to have their guns taken! We will not relinquish them! Do you understand?"

There's no question that there is tremendous passion on the part of many Americans for the right to own as many weapons as they wish, of whatever type they choose, and to carry them even in the most inappropriate places. But the argument that the ownership of weapons is necessary for protection against an Evil Government hell-bent on depriving Good Americans of their freedoms is more than a little simplistic. 

Consider this article by Conor Friedersdorf from the Atlantic Monthly: The Strangest Conservative Priority: Prepping a '2nd Amendment Solution.' This excerpt explains Mr Friedersdorf's thesis:

"...we're going to proceed [in this article] as if the arguments above are correct -- that there is a real danger of the U.S. government growing tyrannical; that the people must preserve checks on its power; and that the Framers best understood how to do so. I respect that general reasoning. What I can't respect are the conservatives who invoke it during political battles over gun control, even as they ignore or actively oppose so many other important attempts to safeguard liberty."

What Mr Friedersdorf goes on to consider is the laser focus of the Right on the importance of preserving gun rights, while attempting to impose its own social agenda and ignoring all the other ongoing, more subtle ways in which the government limits their freedoms:

"... the conservative movement is only reliable when it defends the 2nd Amendment. Otherwise, it is an inconsistent advocate for safeguarding liberty. Conservatives pay occasional lip service to federalism, but are generally hypocrites on the subject, voting for bills like No Child Left Behind, supporting a federally administered War on Drugs, and advocating for federal legislation on marriage.***"

He goes on ...

"It's one thing to argue that gun control legislation is a nonstarter, despite tens of thousands of deaths by gunshot per year [Mr Friedersdorf's emphasis], because the safeguards articulated in the Bill of Rights are sacrosanct. I can respect that... but not from people who simultaneously insist that 3,000 dead in a terrorist attack justifies departing from the plain text of the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth and Eighth amendments****, and giving the president de-facto power to declare war without Congressional approval.

"The conservative movement has a broad, textualist reading of the 2nd Amendment... and nothing else."

And my final quote from the article sort of sums it up:

"... if you're a conservative gun owner who worries that gun control today could make tyranny easier to impose tomorrow, and you support warrantless spying, indefinite detention, and secret drone strikes on Americans accused of terrorism, what explains your seeming schizophrenia?"

What indeed?

I have written often enough in this space that I support all of our freedoms, including the right to "keep and bear arms" enshrined in the Second Amendment. But if you think all that matters is the right to pack heat, ignoring all the other ways a government driven by hyperconservative passions would like to limit your other freedoms, you need your head examined.

Read Mr Friedersdorf's article and think about it very carefully.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* You may recall that I wrote about this idea last month ... here's the post.

** Shouted, actually.

*** You may remember the attempt last year by conservative Republican legislators in Virginia to require mandatory invasive ultrasound tests for women seeking abortions, since abandoned in the face of strong opposition.

**** Much less the First.

The First Great Moments in Editing of 2013!

The job market may still be in the toilet, but there are ... or should be ... plenty of jobs available for skilled editors. Here is the first collection of editorial and signage oddities for the new year ...

Well, where would you send it? ...

It probably wasn't a good idea to not return this sportswriter's calls ...

Perhaps they only found the ducks which had been eating the right herbs ...

Book now - this tour fills up fast ...

Remember yesterday's post about the most and least stressful jobs? Perhaps if Mike gets bored in retirement, there are other things he can try ...

There are also openings for attorneys, but they can be stressful for any number of reasons ...

Full employment plan for bureaucrats ...

The best part was that they could botch the lyrics and the audience would never know ...

Where the people who read the 50 Shades of Grey stories buy their supplies ...

And finally, the perp was probably easy to catch, not being able to run away very fast ...

And that's your first 2013 edition of Great Moments in Editing. Should you run across any good examples, scan or photograph them and send them to der_blogmeister(at)yahoo(dot)com. If I use them, you will get full credit for the item!

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Most and Least Stressful Jobs for 2013

As we begin the new year - a year full of unknowns and stresses beyond what many of us have faced before, it may be useful to look at ways to minimize the everyday stresses we face in our lives. We can do this in part by careful selection of the job we have, which can be a major source of either stress or ... oddly enough ... relative calm and relaxation. Here are the top ten lists of the least and most stressful jobs for 2013, as documented by the linked articles on CNBC.com. With my commentary, of course.

First, the least stressful jobs:

10. Drill Press Operator. A skilled job, without the pressure of working on an assembly line.

9. Librarian. A quiet, slow-paced work environment with the opportunity to help others. On the downside, libraries are a prime source of budget cutbacks for cash-strapped cities.

Conan the Librarian

8. Hair Stylist. Relatively slow pace of work, generally with friends.

7. Dietitian. You're generally in control of your time and schedule.

6. Audiologist. Like dietitians, they have plenty of job opportunities as a result of the aging population.

5. Medical Laboratory Technician. You're a highly-trained professional, and because you are expected to get the most accurate results every time, the level of time pressure is often somewhat lower.

4. Jeweler. You work alone, at your own pace, with the ability to be creative.

3. Medical Records Technician. An important job, generally with fixed hours and the ability to work at a slow pace in order to minimize errors.

2. Seamstress/Tailor. This is a job that offers a lot of flexibility and the ability to manage your workload, especially if you are an independent contractor.

1. University Professor. Private office. Nice campuses. Ivy-covered walls. What's not to like?

These "least stressful" jobs tend to have a few things in common: they can be done alone; they tend to be slower paced; and do not involve physical danger. They don't necessarily pay very well, but they generally offer a better quality of life than those with higher pay and levels of responsibility.

The ten most stressful jobs are:

10. Police Officer. Great responsibility for other people's lives, long stretches of boredom punctuated with moments of extreme danger, and the requirement to be calm while being insulted or threatened by people who object to your authority.

9. Taxi Driver. At great risk of crime from spending all day hauling people you don't know, often to lonely or dangerous places.

8. Newspaper Reporter. You face deadlines every day, along with the pressures of a changing, downsizing work environment.

7. Photojournalist. To get that Pulitzer Prize-winning picture, you often have to put yourself in extreme danger.

6. Senior Corporate Executive. The perks are great (corner office, high salary, excellent benefits), but so are the downsides (great responsibility for other people's livelihoods, being demonized by the public, etc).

5. Public Relations Executive. The pressure of having to make your customer look good - very great if your customer is not very likeable in the first place (think tobacco executives, politicians, Congress, the NRA, etc).

4. Commercial Airline Pilot. For long stretches of time, you are completely responsible for the lives of a planeload of people.

3. Firefighter. Would you want to run into a burning building?

2. Military General. You are completely responsible for the lives of thousands of people you can order to go to their deaths; in peacetime, you live in a fishbowl and risk being berated by Congress (as the stand-in for the administration) every time you are nominated for a high-priority assignment.

1. Enlisted Military Person. You are expected to fight and die in the most dangerous environment imaginable - the modern battlefield.

Like the least stressful jobs, the most stressful jobs have a few things in common: physical danger, often extreme; great responsibility for the lives or well-being of others; strict deadlines; and uncertainty of the job market. Some of the jobs pay quite well (Senior Corporate Executive, Military General), but others are very low-paid when compared to the degree of stress and danger involved (Police Officer, Firefighter, Enlisted Military Person).

So ...

How does your job shape up? You may not be able to change it in the current economic environment, but what are the ways you can use to minimize the stress of an otherwise stressful job? Worth thinking about as we move cautiously forward into a year almost certain to be far more stressful than many of the years past.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.  Bilbo.

Bilbo's Comprehensive Immigration Reform Plan, Revisited

As we gear up for another year of the useless name-calling and finger-pointing that has replaced good government at the national level, the list of critical problems the 113th Congress will try to avoid is lengthening daily. Fortunately for our elected reprehensives, though, there is one problem they will not need to take up - immigration reform. The reason? (sound trumpets and launch rounds of self-congratulatory back-patting here): Bilbo has long ago solved the problem! Of course, although I sent copies of my plan to the President, my Senators, and my district representative, all I got back was a collection of form letters on handsome letterheads, thanking me for my interest in this critical problem which (insert name of President/Senator/Representative here) is working tirelessly to address, blah, blah, blah.

Don't let the door hit you in the backside on your way out.

But a new year is dawning, a new Congress has been sworn in (and at), and it's time to dust off my plan and send it out again. Those of you who have been reading this blog will recognize this as the plan I first floated in 2008, and have updated a few times since, but I encourage you to read it again and give me your critical thoughts. If you like it, you might even send a copy to your own Congressional delegation. Here we go again ...

First, let's recognize that the nation’s immigration problem has lots of interrelated elements:

- Calling a Spade a Pointy Shovel: No one is willing to say out loud that the problem is not with immigration per se, but with illegal immigration … illegal immigrants and their apologists who insist on their protections under American law conveniently ignore the fact that their very presence indicates a willingness to obey the law only when it is convenient to do so;

- Even if the flow of new illegal immigrants were stopped tomorrow, there would still be millions of illegal immigrants already here;

- Constitutional Rights and Protections: American traditions of Constitutionally protected rights of privacy, due process, and equal justice under the law limit the constitutionality and legality of many actions that might be taken in other countries;

- Race: those who imply that illegal immigration is a problem and that illegal immigrants are breaking the law are often branded as racists (a convenient and over-used ad hominem attack). Organizations like La Raza* protect illegal immigrants purely on the basis of racial and ethnic solidarity, without regard for the negative effect on the much larger population of legal immigrants;

- Economics 1: Illegal immigrants provide a badly-needed pool of cheap, unskilled labor for jobs many Americans don’t want, and help keep business costs and, therefore, prices down by working for minimum or below-minimum wage;

- Economics 2: Illegal immigrants, without proper documentation or status, do not pay taxes and yet are able to take advantage of public services (schools, hospitals, police and fire protection, etc) funded by those who do (and this category includes not just citizens, but legal immigrants as well).

These are just a few of the interrelated issues that complicate any meaningful attempt to reform our badly broken immigration system. Each one is difficult by itself, and when taken together, they imply that the problem is beyond solution. But what if we take a comprehensive approach, and try to devise a solution that addresses more than one element at a time? Consider …

Bilbo's Comprehensive Immigration Reform Plan, 2013

Congress begins by enacting legislation to create a new category of immigration status – the “Provisional Resident Alien (PRA)” – and designates the status with a new form of identification – let’s call it the “Blue Card.” Anyone who is in the United States illegally on the date of enactment will have a grace period of six months to register for PRA status and obtain a Blue Card without fear of arrest, imprisonment, or deportation on any immigration violation charge. They would, of course, remain subject to arrest for outstanding criminal violations unrelated to their immigration status.

Those registering as PRAs must pay a fine of $1000 per person or $5000 per family (whichever is less) for the privilege of obtaining that status. This fee does two things: it imposes a penalty for having broken the law in the first place, and it partially funds the cost of the new program. This provides something for those who oppose blanket amnesty, because it imposes a financial penalty for the willful violation of the law. Many churches and immigrant rights organizations will object to the fine because they think it’s either unfair or too much for poor immigrants to pay; such organizations may demonstrate their concern and willingness to help by paying the fine for those who are unable pay it themselves.

Once a person has been granted PRA status, he or she will be required to obtain a valid social security number, and will be entitled to the same rights, privileges, and services as other legal immigrants; in exchange, they will be required to obey all laws, pay all taxes, enroll in basic English classes (if they do not speak English already), and otherwise act as responsible members of American society. They will enjoy the protection of labor laws which require payment of the minimum wage and, with a legal status, will no longer be subject to exploitation by unscrupulous employers.

Initial PRA status will be valid for five years. At the end of this period, the individual must report to the immigration authorities with proof of employment and proof that taxes have been paid. If these conditions are met, the individual may either extend the PRA status for another five years, or apply for citizenship. Citizenship is not automatic – it will still have to be earned through the same application and naturalization process completed by many millions of legal immigrants throughout our history, with the clock starting at the end of the current PRA period, regardless of how long the individual has already been in the country. This protects the interests of those who have followed the legal immigration process by preventing previously-illegal immigrants in PRA status from “jumping the line” for quick citizenship.

On the date the grace period for seeking PRA status ends, anyone who has not registered will be subject to arrest and deportation, without the opportunity to appeal. Because the great majority of previously-illegal immigrants will almost certainly have taken advantage of the opportunity to legalize their status by becoming PRAs, the much smaller number remaining in an illegal status can be assumed to be those with criminal records. Immigration authorities can concentrate their efforts and resources on tracking down this much smaller number of scofflaws and dangerous individuals.

Next, amend the citizenship laws to state that children born within the United States obtain automatic citizenship only if both parents are either US citizens, legal Resident Aliens (not PRAs), or a combination of the two**. This will help reduce the problem of “anchor children” used to establish legal residency for people otherwise here illegally.

On the date the law is enacted, most immigration enforcement agents will be transferred to border security duty to crack down on new illegal immigration. Border security will be enhanced and those caught attempting illegal entry will be summarily deported after being photographed and fingerprinted. Facilitation of illegal immigration (whether by “coyotes” who help smuggle illegals across the border or by those who knowingly employ illegals) will be made a felony, as will a second attempt at illegal immigration.

On the date the grace period for PRA registration ends, a set of very steep fines and jail sentences will go into effect for businesses and individuals hiring persons who are in the country illegally (i.e., without a Green or Blue Card). This will help to remove the economic incentive for businesses to support illegal immigration.

Employers will be responsible for reporting to the immigration authorities any change in the employment status of a PRA. A person in PRA status who is fired or laid off from a job and does not get another one within a prescribed period (say, six months ... the period to be adjustable depending on the economy and job market) loses his or her status and must leave the country until otherwise eligible to enter in that status in the future.

This takes care of those who are in the country illegally today. But comprehensive immigration reform must also address the need for a responsible and responsive program to allow unskilled, low-wage workers to enter the country to take jobs that might otherwise go unfilled. PRA status can be used for these persons, too. Businesses would project their labor requirements, and the State Department would make an appropriate number of PRA visas available to meet the need. Immigrants would then apply at the US embassy or consulate in their home country for PRA status covering any period of time from six months to five years, and need only maintain a job, pay taxes, and learn English in order to maintain their status. At the end of five years, they would also have the opportunity to apply for citizenship.

This plan won’t please everyone, but that’s the nature of a compromise, and the ability to compromise is what has been missing from political discourse in this country for too long. The advantages of my plan are:

1. It offers a way to legitimize the persons already here illegally (who, after all, are too numerous and well-protected to be rounded up and deported), but imposes a fine on them as a condition of legalizing their status (i.e., no reward for having broken the law in the first place).

2. It funds itself, in part, through the fines collected from those applying for PRA status.

3. It provides resources for increased border security by freeing up immigration agents who otherwise spend their days fruitlessly hunting down people already in the country illegally.

4. It provides a pathway for low-wage workers to legally enter the country and take advantage of economic opportunities not available to them at home, while contributing to the US economy in taxes.

5. It eases the pressure on public services by ensuring that more people have jobs and are thus better able to pay for their medical care and, through their taxes, for the education of their children.

6. It removes the incentive for businesses to hire and exploit illegal immigrants who cannot seek their rights for fear of exposure and deportation.

I see two downsides to my plan: 

1. The prices on some goods which have been kept artificially low because of the availability of cheap, illegal immigrant labor, will rise. We will, for example, almost certainly pay more for the produce picked by immigrants who are finally being paid a decent wage. But I believe that in the long run, this plan represents a good start toward a stronger America and a better life for those who would share in its dream. 

2. It establishes a requirement for an expanded bureaucracy to administer it, which is anathema to small-government conservatives. While this is true, it is also an example of the need to address a sort of problem that must be addressed at the national level. And, it must be noted, the requirement for PRA applicants to pay a fine does provide at least partial funding for the program.

So, Dear Readers, what do you think? How can this plan be tweaked to make it better? Send me your ideas as a comment, or e-mail them to me at der_blogmeister(at)yahoo(dot)com. Next weekend, I'll send copies of this plan to the usual suspects once again, and we'll see what sort of reaction I get this time.

Have a good day. Think outside the box. 

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* The National Council of La Raza (http://www.nclr.org/) - an organization dedicated to the support and advancement of Americans of Hispanic origin.

** This will require revision of the 14th Amendment to the Constitution, which states that “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” A reasonable change might be “All persons born in the United States to parents who are native or naturalized citizens or legal residents of the United States, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” 

Cartoon Saturday

If you thought 2012 was bad, welcome to 2013 ...

In the first manufactured crisis of the new year, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi has been castigated for - of all things - photoshopping four missing Reprehensives into a group photo (the horror, the horror!!); the problem of the "fiscal cliff" (sorry Brenda) has not been resolved ... just, in true Congressional fashion, pushed off by another two months; the GOP continues to implode, threatening to take the nation with it; a huge (magnitude 7.5) earthquake has struck off the coast of southern Alaska; and in California, a law dating to 1872 has been cited in a court decision to overturn the rape conviction of a man who allegedly pretended to be an 18-year-old woman's boyfriend in a dark bedroom.

It's going to be a long year. We need the cartoons.

How do we keep our children safe from harm when in school? The NRA has the only solution - more guns!! ... of course, when we can't pay for the schools in the first place, that leads to its own problems ...

The "three r's" of our traditional childhood (readin', ritin', and 'rithmetic) have been replaced by the "four r's" - readin', ritin', 'rithmetic, and reloadin' ...

But how safe do the children really feel? ...

This is a pretty funny cartoon by itself ... but it's sad to think that it could also be used as the official calendar for Congress ...

This is clever ... but it's even funnier if you remember the classic, but little-known song by Mason Williams called "The Last Great Waltz" ...

This one actually has something missing from the word bubble ... the end should read, "... based on this movie, which was loosely adapted from the book" ...

All you fathers out there will appreciate this one ...

I thought these next two cartoons were dumb, but still really funny ...

And I thought this one might especially appeal to craziequeen ...

And finally, sometimes you just have to present the information in the right way ...

And that's it for our first Cartoon Saturday of 2013. It's going to be a difficult year, but we'll try to keep you smiling, even if your government can't.

Have a good day and a great new year. More thoughts coming ...

Bilbo

Coitus Really Interruptus

Warning!! ... R-rated post ahead!

Lord Chesterfield once said of sex that "The pleasure is momentary, the position is ridiculous, and the expense damnable." It can be particularly expensive if it includes a trip to the emergency room.

From The FW comes this heartwarming story for the new year: Woman Arrested for Beating Up Boyfriend After Unsatisfying Sex.

It seems that an "extremely intoxicated" 50-year-old Florida woman, angry because her 32-year-old boyfriend was unable to provide her sufficient pleasure in the bedroom, began beating the hapless fellow with a stick and a wrench, after which she "violently" resisted arrest and was eventually jailed on a charge of misdemeanor battery.

I remember the good old days, when "using protection" didn't imply a need for body armor in the bedroom.

This proves the old adage that the more you misdemeanor you get, ha, ha.

The lesson, of course, is to be sure you can finish what you start, especially if your partner is intoxicated and borderline homicidal. And it's probably also a good idea, given the temper of the times, to make sure your prospective partner isn't packing heat as well ... that "stand your ground" law may not be to your advantage if you can't stand up - so to speak.

Have a good day. Keep the ol' Viagra bottle handy, just in case. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Violent Side of Bilbo

I tend to be a pretty easy-going person, although I do have a volcanic temper that I usually keep well under wraps. I tend to express my anger in writing (as you've probably noticed) and (as my coworkers will attest) in the occasional office rant about the ass clown du jour (lately it's usually Congress). But one of my little-known talents is that I can throw a pretty mean punch.

It's not something I've often been required to do, which is a good thing ... I could probably get off one really good punch before being used by my opponent to mop the floor ... but that punch would really be a good one. Here's the back story ...

Many years ago when Agnes was teaching ballroom dancing, one of her students was a fellow a few years younger than we who was a karate instructor. One year, he gave Agnes a karate uniform and a set of free lessons as a birthday gift and Agnes, recognizing the value of a working knowledge of karate for proper husband control, took the lessons. This lasted until the end of the gift period, when she decided she knew enough to keep me under control; however, she also decided that we should continue to support her student's business, and gently suggested that I should sign up for lessons. Being generally disposed to accepting Agnes's suggestions, I did so.

And I enjoyed it. I found that karate was an excellent way to get my muscles stretched out and toned, and learning the stylized movements of the various katas helped improve my coordination*. I even managed to break my own board with my fist of fury - not too bad for a measly white belt ...

I kept up with the lessons until I'd achieved my blue belt (an appropriate color that matched all the sparring bruises) and hurt my shoulder, but I really valued the time I spent and the lessons I learned ... which included the ability to deliver devastating punches and kicks, none of which I've ever had to use in anger.

Why did I think about this today? It was because of this article from the Atlantic Monthly: New Year's Resolution: Learn How to Throw a Punch. In retrospect, it's not a bad skill to have, even if you never need to use it. It's always better to avoid a fight, but if you have to defend yourself, it's a really good idea to know the applied physics of delivering at least one really good punch, which might be all you need.

Have a good day. Learn how to throw a punch ... you never know when some otherwise irredeemable ass clown will need it.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Which is not especially remarkable at the best of times, and is matched only by my hopeless sense of direction.

Book Review: 2312

Because my friend and coworker Brenda will probably get homicidal if I use the term "fiscal cliff," and because the President, the Senate, and the House have suffered a rare burst of sanity and - if only temporarily - resolved the latest fiscal crisis, I have decided to shelve my intended diatribe on the subject and review a book for you. If you don't like reading (but most of my readers do), come back tomorrow. If you do like reading, and especially if you like reading science fiction, please continue ...

A few years ago, my friend Bob encouraged me to read an alternative history novel by Kim Stanley Robinson titled The Years of Rice and Salt, which had an intriguing premise: that the Black Death killed 90% of the population of Europe, resulting in its repopulation by the Muslim world and the eventual domination of the world by the Chinese and Muslims. I didn't enjoy that book as much as I'd thought, more because of its stylistics than its plot, and so hadn't read anything else by Mr Robinson until I read a glowing review of his latest novel, 2312, and decided to give it a try.

The essential plot is this: in the year 2312, mankind has spread throughout the solar system, colonizing planets and their larger moons from Mercury (whose main city, Terminator, moves on rails to stay ahead of the tremendous heat of the daytime sun) to Pluto. Venus and Mars have been "terraformed" to allow nearly earthlike conditions, and there are major cities and installations on the Moon, Saturn's Titan, and several of the moons of Jupiter. Moons and asteroids made largely of ice are used as sources of water for the terraforming of Venus and Mars. Earth, badly damaged by the ecological disasters of global warming, is a very different and politically dangerous world, often at odds with the governments of the other planets - especially Mars, the most advanced. Humans have extended their life expectancies and often choose to make major changes to their bodies (there are numerous characters who are both male and female, and who both father and bear children). And there's a lot of political intrigue.

With all of this material and a wealth of rich description (views of Jupiter and Saturn from their moons, and of the Sun from Mercury are gorgeously described), it should be a great story ... but it isn't.

I found myself lost in time and place as characters moved back and forth across the solar system with  no sense of what year it was or how long it took things to happen. The main character, Swan Er Hong, was unsympathetic and I found it hard to care about her/him (yes, he/she has ... um ... both parts). There were long periods of reflection and dialog that had me merely skimming and turning pages in search of something more interesting. The plot, dealing with a quiet rebellion by the quantum computers known as "qubes," was overly tangled and left me unsure of who was doing what, when, and why. The structure of the book was also off-putting, with various chapters separated by "lists" of various things and "extracts," apparently from other documents, many of which were confusing and did not seem to move the plot forward. That said, some of the "extracts" did provide very interesting scientific background on the formation of the solar system and the possible mechanics of terraforming.

But the negatives outweighed the positives for me. 2312 had all the potential to be a wonderful story, but - in my humble opinion - it fell flat. My advice: don't buy it ... check it out of the library to read it and save your money. The good news: it's much better in every respect than the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy ... and the dialog, however odd, contains more than variations on "aaahhh...AAAHHH!!"

Have a good day. Read more. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2012 is Announced!

First of all, Happy New Year! Congress, in its own ludicrous style, has kicked the fiscal can down the road yet again, enabling us to look forward to another despicable display of childish party-line pique in another few months.

But in spite of its heroic efforts to earn the coveted designation of Ass Clown of the Year, Congress came in a weak fifth in the voting, although it would have finished a strong second if combined with the votes for the GOP (third place) and the Democratic Party (forth place).

The official result:

In second place, but still distantly trailing the winner, was the Iowa Supreme Court. This strong, late-in-the-year showing was based on its decision to uphold the right of an employer to fire an employee because she was "irresistible." It was, to be sure, a somewhat more nuanced story than the headlines would have you believe (you can read the court's decision here), but it was still a fine example of shameless ass clownery.

And now, Dear Readers, the time has come!

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2012, with a vote total almost twice that of the runner-up, is:

Wayne LaPierre,

President of the National Rifle Association

Although Mr LaPierre has an essentially praiseworthy goal - to protect the Constitutional right of Americans to "keep and bear arms,"* his puerile and utterly tone-deaf response to the massacre of 26 people** (mostly small children) - essentially, that the only possible solution*** to gun violence is more guns - has earned him our designation as Ass Clown of the Year.

And so, as we reel drunkenly into 2013, battered by fiscal uncertainty and awash in ass clownery at every level of governmental and personal behavior, let us raise our glasses to Ass Clowns everywhere, those whose behavior makes us shudder with disbelief.

Happy New Year, Dear Readers. May you have a safe, happy, and healthy 2013, in spite of all strong efforts by legions of ass clowns to make it otherwise.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* The precise wording of the Second Amendment to the Constitution reads: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." Never have commas caused so much consternation. Oh, and don't mind that part about the necessity of a Militia ... the Supreme Court has decided that the Amendment has nothing to do with militias, but with the personal freedom to pack heat - read the court's decision in District of Columbia v Heller (07-290) here.

** 27, if you count the killer's mother, who was also shot in the head ... multiple times.

*** His precise words, spoken at an NRA news conference at which no questions were taken from the audience, were: "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun." The emphasis was Mr LaPierre's own. You can read the full transcript of his remarks here.

Ready to Pull the Handle on 2012?

I am.

But first, here are some of the good things that happened this year:

- Our sixth grandchild, Ava, was born in November. Her expression says it all.

- Agnes and I celebrated our 30th anniversary in September.

- We sailed through the Panama Canal.

- I am still alive and healthy and have lots of good friends.

- Agnes has not yet strangled me in my sleep*.

Here are some of the less-good things that happened this year:

- One of the most dispiriting and embarrassing presidential election campaigns ever.

- A Congress more intent on political posturing and ideological purity than on doing its job is poised as of this writing to drive the country back into recession ...

... and is doing nothing but accusing everyone else of being the problem.

- In spite of horrible mass murders committed by crazy people with guns, some people insist that the solution to the problem is ... more guns!**

- I discovered that Verizon will charge me $34.99 to buy a replacement Battery Back-Up Unit (BBU) for my Optical Network Terminal (ONT)***. OMG.

- Etc, etc, etc.

And so, Dear Readers, let us hope - against all indications to the contrary - that 2013 will be a better year. It will no doubt suck economically for most of us, thanks to our useless, gridlocked, head-up-the-wazoo Congress, although there may be a few bright spots if we look hard enough for them. I promise to try to look, but first things first ... so long, 2012!

Last, but not least ...

Don't forget that you have only a few hours left to cast your votes for the 2012 Ass Clown of the Year ... balloting closes at 11:59 tonight. You can vote (Chicago Rules****, remember!) by leaving a comment, or on Facebook (if you're one of my friends there), or by e-mail to der_blogmeister(at)yahoo(dot)com.  Don't delay - only 18 hours to go!

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2012 will be announced in this space tomorrow.

Have a good day. If you are going out to celebrate tonight, please do it safely.  Drink all you want (God knows 2012 has given you sufficient reason), but don't drink and drive. I want to see all of you back next year.

More thoughts tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. You've been warned.

Bilbo

* Although likely not for want of provocation.

** Does packing heat contribute to global warming? If so, so long to the ice caps.

*** While this does not rise to the level of yuckiness of the others, it still pisses me off.

**** Chicago Rules means that you can vote as many times as you like, for as many candidates as you like. You can also cast votes for your friends and family, living and dead, and for your pets, imaginary friends, and pretty much anyone else you like. Gerrymandering does not apply.