Cartoon Saturday

Sigh ... 

Lacking evidence to launch an impeachment of President Biden, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy announced the launch of an impeachment of President Biden in an attempt to find evidence with which to impeach President Biden; Colorado representative Lauren Boebert was escorted out of a Denver theater after being accused of disruptive behavior (including vaping and aggressively groping/being groped by her date) during a performance of the musical "Beetlejuice;" Arkansas governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweeted on Thursday - apparently without ironic intent - that "People around the country are looking to Arkansas as a bastion of normal in an ever-crazier world;" United Auto Workers members have gone on strike at plants owned by all three major auto makers, demanding increased wages and benefits at a time when the auto companies are making record profits; and in - where else? - Florida, an autopsy determined that a convicted murderer awaiting execution on death row died accidentally of a fentanyl overdose. 

This week, because we've all been down with Covid and I have less than no energy to do much design work, we'll just feature a collection of random cartoons from my unsorted file. The complaint department is down the hall if you're upset, Karen.

Heavens yes ... if we don't bail them out, who will keep the economy running to make more money for the top 1%? ...

Must be one of Der Furor's shysters ...

It had to come sooner or later ...

I have one of those, too ...

That would be my recommendation, also ...

We get some of those, too ...

This is the only explanation of "trickle-down economics" I've ever found that makes any sense ...

I've been on one of those for a long time ...

I really miss The Piranha Club comic strip ... Uncle Sid was such a perfectly sleazy character, just right for the times ... 

The next step in the evolution of the GOP ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. Don't get Covid ... it sucks.

More thoughts tomorrow, when a song recommended by my brother speaks to all of us older guys. See you then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

And awaaaaaayyyy we go ...

This girl is going to grow up to be a Republican impeachment investigator ...

Well, it does make sex more fun. Or so I've heard ...

Well, what else would they be shaped like? ...

I guess it makes them easier to hit ...

Would you really want to use them right there in the store? ...

Well, it is Arkansas ...

Sounds about right ...

If you need help in cutting back on your drinking, I think I've found your store ...

Because why not? ...

I would, too ...

And there you go - another prime set of editorial and signage ya-has to help you through all the depressing political news. I hope you enjoyed it.

Have a good day, and be sure to come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday ... more thoughts then. 

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

This past week saw the death of one of my favorite musicians - Jimmy Buffett. He had a wonderful way with lyrics and melodies, and more of his songs are on my "favorites" playlist than those of any other performer. For this week's Poetry Sunday, I want to say goodbye to Jimmy with the lyrics of one of his most popular and meaningful songs ...

A Pirate Looks at Forty

Music and Lyrics by Jimmy Buffett

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call

Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall

You've seen it all, you've seen it all

Watched the men who rode you, switch from sails to steam

And in your belly, you hold the treasures few have ever seen

Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream

Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred years too late

The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder

I'm an over-forty victim of fate

Arriving too late, arriving too late

I've done a bit of smugglin', and I've run my share of grass

I made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast

Never meant to last, never meant to last

And I have been drunk now for over two weeks

I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks

But I got to stop wishin', got to go fishin'

Down to rock bottom again

Just a few friends, just a few friends

I go for younger women, lived with several a while

Though I ran 'em away, they'd come back one day

Still could manage to smile

Just takes a while, just takes a while

Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I've found

My occupational hazard being my occupation's just not around

I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

It's a great song with a great melody, but the older I get, the more this particular verse speaks to me:

Yes, I am a pirate, two hundred years too late

The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder

I'm an over-forty victim of fate

Arriving too late

I'm now an over-seventy victim of fate, wondering where the joys of my youth have gone and doing my best to enjoy the pleasures of rapidly advancing old age: grandchildren, retirement, gardening, and the Jimmy Buffett music that never gets old. Rest well, Jimmy ... hope you're enjoying that beach house on the moon.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

September is only a week old ... it's gonna be a long month.

Peter Novarro, a former official in Der Furor's administration, has been found guilty of contempt of Congress for ignoring subpoenas issued by the January 6th Committee; the special grand jury that investigated Der Furor's efforts to overturn Georgia's 2020 election results actually recommended indictments agains 39 people - twice as many as ultimately charged - including South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, former Senators Kelly Loeffler and David Purdue of Georgia, and Der Furor's former national security advisor Michael Flynn; Joe Biggs, a "Proud Boy" sentenced to 17 years in prison for his role in the January 6th insurrection, has complained about his prison food, describing it as "not edible in any kind of way;" and at the Cape Hatteras National Seashore this past Wednesday, a 42-foot boat named "Turn Back" ... didn't, and crashed into the beach.

The changing climate means that we get blistering heat, icy cold, torrential rain, floods, hurricanes, wildfires, and arctic blizzards, and none of them always where or when they're expected. The only person to deal successfully with floods was Noah, and so Cartoon Saturday today takes a look at how he managed it.

Only two of each seems a bit meager ...

Absolutely essential, but not mentioned in most accounts ...

I think I'd make the same choice ...

This would be the GOP approach ...

I'm sure that's exactly how it happened ...

So, who sailed the ship? ...

Good planning ...

More good planning ...

So that's what happened ...

Mrs Noah weighs in on the decisions ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. Stay cool ... and dry. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday honors the late Jimmy Buffett ... who reminded us of what Florida used to be. See you then.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2023

It's that time again - a new month has dawned and with it the need to consider our next Ass Clown award winner. As always in this bizarre year, there are plenty of "worthy" candidates, but as I look at the field today, a winner seems clear. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I am presenting the award for 

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2023

to

Florida

We've all enjoyed the songs of the late Jimmy Buffett and the novels of Carl Hiaasen that tell stories of the funny, crazy, free-spirited denizens of the Sunshine State, and we've laughed at the misadventures of the archetypal "Florida Man," but the truth of today's Florida is far more dispiriting and less entertaining than we might wish.

While a strong argument could be made also for awards to Texas, Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, or other deep red states, the degree of Florida's ass clownery currently stands out for many reasons, particularly given the leadership of its angry would-be tsar of a governor, Ron "Don't Say Gay" DeSantis*. 

Mr DeSantis is proud of thundering that "Florida is where woke goes to die," and if one accepts the general definition of "woke" as "aware of and actively attentive to important societal facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice)," this is certainly true. Florida has been in the forefront of often-petty restrictions on the personal freedoms of LGBTQ citizens, draconian abortion restrictions, the banning of books considered undesirable by conservative activists, and the hounding and degradation of immigrants (whether legal, illegal, or suspected-possibly-to-be-illegal). 

Florida has also become a caring and nurturing environment for unrepentant Nazis who, encouraged by the governor, a deeply conservative and aging population, and the angry and vituperative presence of Der Furor, parade shamelessly, threateningly, and without fear of arrest.

At one time, this cartoon might have been funny. Today, it's shockingly real ...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the place once known as The Sunshine State is designated as the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2023. It may be a while before the sunshine returns; for now, it's where rational behavior and simple human decency go to die.

Have a good day. Stay cool. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday takes a look at what happens when you get the rain you've hoped for. A year's worth. All at once. See you then.

Bilbo

* Himself a three-time Ass Clown awardee: September 2021 Right-Cheek (Shared with Texas Governor Greg Abbott), April 1922 Left-Cheek, and May 2023 Left-Cheek.

Musical Sunday

Chapters 7 through 11 of the Biblical book of Exodus tell the story of how God brought down ten plagues on Egypt to force the Pharaoh to release the Israelites: water turned to blood; frogs; lice; flies; livestock pestilence; boils; hail; locusts; darkness; and the killing of firstborn children. These were horrific plagues, to be sure, but little did the people of those times know that much worse was yet to come ...

Lawyers.

Yes, Dear Readers, one need only look at the headlines to see the number of lawyers either in jail, under indictment, debarred, or chained to the lawless and weighty anchor* of Der Furor to know that a new, more virulent pestilence is at hand. While the plagues of Egypt, the bubonic plague, the Spanish Flu, SARS, and Covid-19 could eventually be bested by science**, it seems that nothing can save us from the legal plague about which Tom Paxton warns us in today's Musical Sunday - the plague of One Million Lawyers ...

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

And yet, try to have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming, unless some lawyer sues me.

Bilbo

* An anchor that weighs a lot more than 215 pounds.

**No thanks to the anti-vaccination zealots and the politicians who pander to them.

Cartoon Saturday

The new month is just a day old. Take a deep breath ... we'll get through it, despite the relentlessly depressing news. 

Two former "Proud Boys" figures received long prison sentences for their actions in the January 6th Capitol insurrection; a doctor has approved Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell's return to work after a second incident in which he froze and appeared to be confused during a live interview; The Pentagon announced the launch of a new website which will provide the public with declassified information about flying saucers, once known as UFOs, but now officially called "unidentified anomalous phenomena;" a Boston-area sheriff's deputy, angered about what he perceived as a corrupt justice system, has been arrested for trying to enlist other law enforcement officers to blow up a courthouse and murder police and court officials; and in Oregon, authorities are searching for an "extremely dangerous" man who reportedly escaped from police custody while fully restrained with leg shackles, a belly chain, handcuffs, and a restraint connecting all three together.

It's been a hot summer, and the heat is often more an issue for ladies who have to shave in all sorts of places to meet our cultural expectations of beauty. I personally don't care, but many people do, and so here's a late-summer collection of cartoons about ladies' struggles with hair in unwanted places ...

Yes, this is a definite advantage of online shopping ...

Timing is everything ...

I guess this has been going on for a long time ...

Perhaps it's also why Rapunzel wears long sleeves, too ...

Medusa is always good for a few cartoons on a lot of topics ...

As I was saying ...

I guess it's not just human ladies who do it ...

Expectations often collide with reality ...

Good guess ...

Good question ...

Lest things get too ... hairy, I'll just stop now.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when we revisit a plague worse than Covid.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Today we greet the new month of September with a new collection of editorial and signage oddities. Perhaps they will take your mind off all the social, political, and religious oddities that plague us ...

Somehow, I think that this lady is going to vote Republican ...

I got this one from my friends Dave and Mary in Germany. The sign says in English "Sex in tall grass is forbidden during the hay-cutting season! Danger to life." You just know that there has to be an interesting backstory here ...

Wait, what? ...

Unless you're driving a tank ... then, you can park in occupied spaces, too ...

It's the start of that season ...

I suppose this means we can't depend on the clergy to lock up ...

I guess he may be able to fence the car, but the fleas? ...

Well, it's better than shooting him ...

Perhaps Debbie can work out a job-sharing arrangement with Stormy Daniels to get some rest ...

According to the GOP, a watermelon is a dangerous weapon if it's offered to people waiting in line to vote on a hot day ...

Welcome to September! I hope you enjoyed today's collection, and hope you'll be back tomorrow for the first Cartoon Saturday of the month. More thoughts then.

Bilbo