Cartoon Saturday

The families have given up on rescuing two NFL players lost in a boating accident near Florida; the Mexican government has sent 7000 soldiers to the border city of Ciudad Juarez to try to contain the war between murderous rival drug cartels; House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has advocated a "scorched earth" strategy in dealing with House Republicans, proving that Democrats can be just as stupid and pig-headed as Republicans; the government is still bailing out insurance giant AIG, without an accounting of where the $160 billion so far spent is going; and unemployment has reached 8.1% - the highest level since 1983.

If you didn't need Cartoon Saturday before, you need it now.

For a while, it seemed as if the animal of choice for cartoons was penguins. Now, I realized I've accumulated quite a collection of cartoons about turtles...which may be appropriate, considering the blinding speed with which Congress is moving toward collegial resolution of our problems.

This one is cute, and just plain silly...

There's still plenty of construction going on in the DC area, although much of it has slowed down during the recession...


What sort of questions would you ask a tortoise in a job interview? ...

I've always wanted to do this to a car salesman ...

The "Non-Sequitur" cartoon strip has had a good run this week with cartoons taking on the banking crisis. I liked this one especially well ...

And finally, I think you're all aware of my opinion of Rush Limbaugh. I think this cartoon from Washington Post editorial cartoonist Tom Toles says it all ...

Would Republican conservative (or Democratic liberal) religious law be called sharidiot?

Inquiring minds want to know.

If you are living in most of the United States, don't forget to turn your clocks ahead one hour before you go to bed tonight ... otherwise you'll be embarrassed tomorrow when you show up for the 9:00 church service at 10:00, and everyone turns to stare at you when you walk in. Is that right? I don't know. I don't do math this early in the morning. Just fix the clocks, okay?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

General Complaining

On Monday of this week, we were buried in snow. You can see the pictures here. Today's weather forecast looks for a high of 62 (17 Celsius), and Sunday's for a high of 73 (23 Celsius). I guess this is that global warming I've heard so much about. Or maybe it's just those howling blasts of hot air radiating out from Capitol Hill. Who knows?

Back in January, I complained about the local deer population chowing down on my landscaping. You can see the pictures here. Now they're back...and they brought friends:

If you have a lot of recipes for venison, I can make you a pretty good deal. By the way, you can see in this picture how much of our snow has disappeared since Monday.

I survived yesterday's dental exam. No cavities, and the usual stern lecture about flossing more regularly...perhaps I'll take Mike's advice (see his second comment to yesterday's post). Or maybe not. Now I have to get Agnes to go for her dental exam...but that's like pulling teeth.

An article posted to the CNN website yesterday listed ten "secrets" one shouldn't keep from one's doctor. Specifically mentioned were "the three P's: peeing, pooping, and procreating." I mention this only because I know that either Mike or Fiona should be able to get at least a week's worth of posts out of this. Mike's will have video (which ought to be interesting), while Fiona's will be peppered with Scottish phrases like, "I cannae pee...time to call the feckin' doctor!" Over to you, guys.

Well, the weekend beckons. Tonight, we can go dancing. Tomorrow and Sunday, we get our preview of Spring. The nice, warm temperatures are a double-edged sword, though: on the one hand, it'll be gloriously warm and I'll want to work in the yard, tending the plants the $&^#! deer haven't eaten yet...on the other, it'll be a sea of mud. Of course, I could just sit on the deck in the sun and drink gin and tonic.

I think I feel a plan coming together.

Check back later and find out what happened.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Things Somebody Else Said

I'm a little distracted this morning because I'm looking forward with the usual great excitement to my semiannual dental exam at 8:00. On the good side, Laura the dental assistant is a very nice person who keeps coming up with innovative ways to chide me for not flossing well enough: last time, she told me that if I don't floss, the uneven buildup of placque (plaque? plak? plack?) on my teeth will cause my head to be unbalanced, which will negatively affect my dancing. I didn't want to tell her that my head has been unbalanced for years, as all of you already know. On the bad side, well, it's a dental exam. How pleasant can it be?

Anyhow, in lieu of deep thought, here are a few random quotes for a Thursday. Mike can do the videos, I'll do the verbiage...

First up is a cautionary note for my blogging friend Andrea, who reviews music CDs in her "Elfslut Says" column on Livejournal. From yesterday's page on my "365 Stupidest Things Anyone Ever Said" calendar comes this quote from a press release publicizing the music of a band called Infernal Method...don't let this happen to you:

"This is strictly a pantagraphic hauntography of proto-mantic motherworlds. Mysteriograms of toposonic radiances are deconstructed and raptoluminal resonances at residual numinophillic nemeta sites are reiterated in the myoboreal precincts."

Oddly enough, these sound very much like the jumbles of words Alan Greenspan used to roll out while he was snowing Congress before the economic meltdown. I wonder if he's now making his living as a music reviewer.

I ran across this quote from King Farouk of Egypt years ago, and still think it's as astute commentary on world politics as any I've seen:

"The whole world is in revolt. Soon there will be only five Kings left--the King of England, the King of Spades, The King of Clubs, the King of Hearts, and the King of Diamonds."

Of course, England now has a queen, but that's beside the point...

American humorist Will Rogers is one of my heroes - a genuinely funny, astute, and gentle observer of life and politics. His death in an airplane crash in 1935 was truly a national tragedy, and deprived us of someone whose commentary we could really have used today. Among the many comments for which he is justly remembered is this one:

"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."

Yeah, Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi, give it a try. I'd like to see a dog laugh.

And finally, from writer and historian Hillaire Belloc comes this comment about our political classes that rings ever more true:

"The standard of intellect in politics is so low that men of moderate mental capacity have to stoop in order to reach it."

Could this be why there are so many ... uh ... stoopid people on Capitol Hill?

Okay, that's enough for now. I need to brush my teeth and floss about 15 times so Laura won't look at me with her usual disapproving frown.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Wednesday Miscellany

As I write this, the temperature outside my study window is 11 degrees (Fahrenheit...that's minus 12 Celsius), and I am dreading the hike up to the bus stop and the wait - however brief it may (hopefully) be - for the bus. I haven't thawed out from yesterday's commute, for pete's sake. What this means for you, dear readers, is a short post so that I can spend more time rubbing my hands together to pre-warm them before heading out into the arctic blasts.

Today, I will just share with you a few things from my recent Daily Curmudgeon e-mails. They seem to be appropriate to the current political/economic/social mess:

"There is no expedient to which man will not resort to avoid the real labor of thinking."
- Sir Joshua Reynolds, 18th Century English writer, artist, philosopher, and scientist.

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy."
- Ernest Benn, British publisher and political writer


And a short poem - The Wayfarer, by Stephen Crane:

The wayfarer,
Perceiving the pathway to truth,
Was struck with astonishment.
It was thickly grown with weeds.
"Ha," he said,
"I see that none has passed here
In a long time."
Later he saw that each weed
Was a singular knife.
"Well," he mumbled at last,
"Doubtless there are other roads."

Doubtless there are. And you can count on Congress dutifully exploring every one until they've exhausted all the alternatives to doing the right thing.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Snow Jobs, Part 3

It's official - I'm getting old.

After shoveling the sidewalks and driveway and digging out two cars multiple times yesterday, this morning I hurt in places I'd forgotten I had places. The only good part of the day was the big pot of creamy gulasch I made for supper, which was just the right thing for aching joints. Especially when washed down with a good red wine.

Nevertheless, I still hurt.

And I took a gentle intellectual wire-brushing from Suzy Q over my castigation of Rush Limbaugh in yesterday's post. She pointed out that I had mistaken the source of some verbiage Mr Limbaugh had used - I identified the "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" words as the Preamble to the Constitution...as Suzy Q correctly points out, they actually appear in the Declaration of Independence. That's what happens when I get a full head of indignant steam up and write before I think. She also suggested that Mr Limbaugh's tirade was not as worrisome as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's assertion that if something isn't done quickly, "500 million jobs will disappear each week."

Intellectually battered and bleeding, Bilbo lurches back against the ropes and tries to collect his thoughts...

I suppose, in a twisted way, I've made my own point. Instead of reasoned debate and discussion of critical issues that affect each of us, we are engaging in a war of bluster and sound bites, with shots taken more often from the hip and heart than the brain. I can be as guilty of this as anyone. Because I get so infuriated by the relentless demagoguery of people like Rush Limbaugh, I sometimes allow myself to get distracted from pointing out the equally stupid pronouncements of some from the other side of the argument. My basic stand remains as ever: we have allowed our policy discussions to be hijacked by those who shout loudest from the farthest ends of the political spectrum, rather than seeking points of agreement (however few they may be) and using them as a basis for working outward to find reasonable solutions for our problems.

Rush Limbaugh equates the least compromise of his conservative ideals as a sellout, rather than a search for agreement. Nancy Pelosi frequently opens her mouth before making sure the brain clutch is engaged. And all the people who slavishly follow them continue to violate Bilbo's First Law: Don't let anyone do your thinking for you.

Thank you, Suzy Q, for pointing out my mistake. I'll try to do better.

Now, if only our elected reprehensives and the shouting blowhards who try hardest to influence them could do the same...

Have a good day. Stay warm (not applicable in Palembang and Southern California). More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Snow Jobs, Part 2

These are for Amanda, who said she'd be more than happy to help me with the snow...

I took these pictures this morning at about 7:15, after I'd already spent about an hour and a half shoveling out our sidewalks and driveway and cleaning off Agnes's car. Twice. It's now 8:49, the snow is still coming down heavily, and you can hardly tell I did anything. Sigh.

The Federal Government (and, thus, my office at the Pentagon) are on "two-hour late reporting, with unscheduled leave authorized." Agnes tried to get up the hill to go to work at the credit union, but didn't make it a quarter of the way before sliding back down. Even our neighbors with their big four-wheel-drive pickups aren't trying to go anywhere. I think it's going to be one of those unscheduled leave days.

And the snow is too dry even to make a good snowman.

Ain't this just fun...

Come on, Spring!

Bilbo

Snow Jobs

Well, here I sit in my study, looking out the window at the snow that is still coming down at a pretty good clip. It looks as if there's about three or four inches on the ground, and according to the forecast on the radio at the moment, the heaviest of the snow is hitting us now.

And, of course, the Federal Government is open for business with 2-hour delayed arrival and unscheduled leave authorized, which means I've got to rush this post through, then run outside and shovel away what I can before I hike up to the shopping center in the hope that my bus will actually show up.

Looks like a wonderful day shaping up. And, speaking of snow...

Some wag once described any official government pronouncement as an avalanche - that is, a "high-level snow job of massive and overwhelming proportions." True enough. But it's not just limited to the government.

Speaking of Rush Limbaugh...

Did you happen to hear or read news coverage of his speech to the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington this past Saturday? If you didn't, you didn't miss much. As you might suspect, according to Mr Limbaugh:

- The Republicans are the only hope for salvation of the nation from the wild-eyed hordes of horrifying extreme left-wing radicals who want to turn America into the ultimate welfare state.

- The preamble to the Constitution is somewhat different than what we all remember, as he claims it guarantees Americans "...certain inalienable rights, among them life, liberty, freedom -- and the pursuit of happiness." As I recall, the word "freedom" isn't actually in the preamble...but if Mr Limbaugh says it is, then wild-eyed hordes of extreme right-wing radicals will believe it no matter what.

- The "Democrat" party is responsible for every ill affecting the nation - past, present, and future. He still can't move beyond the insulting use of "Democrat" rather than "Democratic" to describe the opposition.

- Bipartisanship is a "false promise" which "...mean(s) ... we check our core principles at the door, come in, let them (the Democrats) run the show, and then agree with them." Hmmm...much like the Republicans defined it when they were in power. Guess I have to agree with him on that one.

Is it any wonder that I'm depressed about the future?

When self-important windbags can't even accurately quote the preamble to the Constitution they profess to "love and revere," we've got a problem.

When name-calling and bluster substitute for reason and debate, we've got a problem.


When the party that helped ruin the economy by waging a major war off the books and shredding effective regulation of banks and industry blames the other party for trying new approaches to cleaning up the wreckage, we've got a problem.

I've got a problem, too - I've got a lot of snow to shovel. Too bad I don't have Rush Limbaugh to help me - nobody's better at blustery snow jobs than he is.

But I don't think he'd be much help, anyhow...he'd just complain I was doing it wrong.

Gotta go - the snow awaits. Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Signs of Spring

Happy March 1st.

Our forecast for today and tomorrow is for snow, sleet, and freezing rain, which means that we're battening down the hatches and preparing for a nice, warm day of housecleaning and general indoor stuff. Agnes may finally finish the inventory of missing pieces from her new Lego set (and there are many, let me tell you), and I will take yet another stab at cleaning up my study (quit laughing, everyone). We have a nice corned beef brisket and two heads of cabbage waiting to be turned into my all-time favorite winter dinner, the wine rack is stocked, the cable and German satellite TV bills are paid up, the DVDs are standing at attention in rows, the iPod is loaded and charged up, and the propane tank for the fireplace is nearly full.

Bring it on, Mother Nature!

Nevertheless, there has been a hopeful sign of spring: yesterday our local Boy Scout troop left the flyer for its annual mulch sale, which delivers bagged mulch right to our driveway on March 28th, just in time for the spring planting and landscaping season. I am soooo ready to get out and work in the yard again...I'm with Andrea - I've got both hands raised to show that I'm heartily sick of the cold weather. I'm ready for ladies in tank tops, barbecues, and lounging on the deck with a gin and tonic after work. I'm ready to start raking in the herbs from my garden. I'm ready to do endless battle with the weeds that want to take over my yard.

Oh, heck, I'm just ready for winter to be over.

And, of course, by northern Virginia's steamy and semi-malarial August, I'll be grousing for a little snow.

There's just no satisfying some people, is there?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

A topless coffee shop has made a big hit in Maine; Mexican drug wars are spilling over the border to threaten American border towns; the economy had contracted at the fastest rate in a quarter-century at the end of last year; the Vice President has convened a task force on the Middle Class (that will certainly make things better); and Chinese police shot a Tibetan monk who set himself on fire after local authorities had forbidden a group of monks to observe a traditional prayer festival.

Thank goodness for Cartoon Saturday!

Nothing like being able to look at the bright side of things...

You can tell things are getting bad with the economy when even the big law firms are letting people go. I wonder if they wrote their own contracts...

Rodney Dangerfield used to complain that when he called the suicide prevention hotline, they put him on hold. I wonder if that happens here...

I'm always worried about using some of those powerful drain cleaners for fear that they might wreck my plumbing. I'm ready to try the green, eco-friendly approach...

Everyone needs some help in the kitchen from time to time...

And finally, a clever take on the old cowboy song "Home on the Range" ...

The next few days here in Virginia look like they'll be pretty yucky, weather-wise. Hope they're better where you are. Looks like a good time to sit in front of the fire and read or watch some of those DVDs.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Making Sense of the Statistics. Not.

Everyone has an opinion on the economy...how we got into this mess, how to get out of it, and whether or not one party or the other is recklessly hell-bent on ruining the country with its ludicrous policies. As for the last one, well, it's a big country, and it takes both Republicans and Democrats working together to really bring it to its knees. I guess we'll be okay, then, because there's no chance of the Republicans ever stooping to work with the Democrats, and the Democrats are too busy in the short term sticking it to the Republicans in revenge for the Republicans doing it to them when they were in power. I have a mental image of President Obama addressing a joint session of Congress and starting his speech with something like, "Now children, play nicely..."

But I digress.

As I've often moaned in this space, part of my problem with making sense of the economy is that I don't know what numbers to trust. Both sides of any economic argument can march out mighty battalions of numbers and percentages and ratios, reinforced by endless divisions of spun history, to "prove" that their side of the argument is totally correct, and you're a brainless moron if you don't see it. What it actually proves is that statistics are like prisoners in damp and lightless dungeons: if you torture them long enough, they'll tell you whatever you want to hear. Which brings me to the intellectual knife fight I've been carrying on with my friend Anonymous over the last few weeks...

It all started back on the 15th of this month when Suzy Q commented on my post "Danger - Political Rant. Keep Back 50 Feet." I had complained that I couldn't understand the Republican reliance on tax cuts as the answer to all economic ills, and Suzy Q offered a link to a document she thought would help me understand. Since Anonymous is always proving his arguments by telling me to "look it up," I decided to do that: I followed Suzy Q's link and found this April 1996 report of the House Joint Economic Committee - The Reagan Tax Cuts: Lessons for Tax Reform. The first thing I noted when I read it (although you have to look to find it) was that it was not a product of the entire "Joint Economic Committee," but rather of its Republican members; thus, it provides the expected glowing review of the efficacy of tax cuts as an economic stimulus measure. The next thing I noticed was that its arguments were buttressed by two references and no footnotes.

Trolling on through the Joint Economic Committee's website, I found another report. This one was titled "Extending the Bush Tax Cuts is the Wrong Way to Stimulate the Economy," and it was dated April 2008. It's cover clearly specified that it was a report by the majority (i.e., Democratic) staff of the committee and, as you might suspect, it takes the exact opposite viewpoint, demonstrating (with two pages of references and a bazillion footnotes) that tax cuts don't work. I'll e-mail you a copy if you want to read it.

So who's right? Even allowing that the two reports were published 12 years apart, there seems to be a radical difference in how the history and the statistics are interpreted. Do tax cuts work or don't they? Is it any wonder that the American people don't know who to trust when they are asked to support a particular philosophical approach to resolving the fiscal crisis?

I guess my hero Will Rogers knew what he was talking about when he said that the income tax has made more liars of the American people than golf has.

And I'm still confused about the economy and unlikely to be unconfused any time soon.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo