Wednesday, April 28, 2010

As If You Needed Something Else to Worry About...

Earthquakes, mudslides, out-of-control Toyotas, hurricanes, drug gangs, tornadoes, gun nuts, rap "music," extreme left-wing Democrats, murderously fanatical Islamists, environmental pollution, grand opera ... it's all enough to make you want to go back to bed and pull the covers over your head. How could things get worse?

How about invading space aliens? Not cute, gentle ETs ...

But really nasty ones ...

Yes, there are illegal aliens and there are illegal aliens. Some you can legislate against (not that anyone will pay attention to the law), and some you have to just scream and run from ...

You may wish to read this cheerfully optimistic article on CNN online: Should We Fear Space Aliens?

The answer is a resounding maybe.

It's entirely possible that aliens who stumble upon us could be friendly, benign, and willing to help us reach a higher level of technological and social evolution.

It's also possible that they might be afraid of our propensity for violence and intolerance, and unleash a can o' cosmic whoop-ass on us like we'd use Raid on a nest of cockroaches.

Should we look for life elsewhere in the vastness of the universe? Sure. I'm convinced it's out there, and it would be wonderful to know that we're not alone in the endless void. Should we advertise our presence by beaming signals out randomly? Uh, probably not. No sense in letting potentially hostile life forms know that we're capable of things like street gangs, "reality" TV shows, and cage fighting. I'm not ready to be the catch of the day at some tentacled alien's corner diner.

Give me good old earthbound illegal aliens any day. They may be scofflaws, an economic drain, and a general pain in the neck, but at least they don't eat you.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



Melissa B. said...

I'm not sure. I see aliens in my classroom every day!

Anonymous said...

The only thing for sure I can say to reassure you about the arrival of aliens is that in order to get here from wherever, they will have to have figured out a way to exceed the cosmic speed limit, which is currently 186,000 miles per second (If Einstein is anywhere near right). Sounds really fast, but any aliens who obey the absolute universal speed limit and decided to come here wouldn't get here during your lifetime unless they decided to take a weekend tour about a million years ago. Doesn't that make you feel better? Presumably nobody started evolving before the universe existed (if in fact, there was a before the universe--remember, Big Bang is just a theory, not a law), and evolution from a mere random chemical reaction to a sentient being that can manipulate the physical universe probably takes a long, long time, you and I are safe from bad aliens for let's say--oh the next two weeks--or maybe forever. In line with your next post, "Fuhget aboudit!" and sleep well tonight.
Eminence Grise