Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Bait and Switch

You're all familiar with the old "bait and switch" scam, right? That's the one where the con man promises you something really nice ... then, when you're in the mood to buy, he lets you know that the nice thing he promised isn't available at the moment, but you could have something else, which he claims is just as good if not better, and costs just a little bit more.

I have to admit that I've pulled a bait and switch on you today, although there's no real cost to you involved.

My original plan for today (as I wrote yesterday) was to write a post on the subject of pens - devices people use for writing. Unfortunately, two things intervened:

1. I didn't get the photographs shot that I wanted to use as illustrations; and,

2. My son sent me a link to an article that he thought would make great blog fodder.

Well, he was right. We will discuss pens tomorrow. Today, let's talk about the real cause of earthquakes.

According to this article from Faux News.com, a "senior Iranian cleric" explains that devastating earthquakes are caused by women who wear overly revealing clothing and behave promiscuously.

Yes, all you scientists who have been studying plate tectonics, volcanism, and the fluid dynamics of rock strata have missed the boat: all that time you spent poring over seismographic squiggles in a laboratory or digging rocks in the hot sun could have been put to better use watching pretty girls on a warm spring day.

I suppose, in a perverse way, that this odd fellow with his turban wrapped too tightly may have a point, for I have often felt the earth shake when a beautiful lady in summer clothes walks by, but somehow I don't think that was what he had in mind.

Isn't it odd how God picks all sorts of bizarre ways to make his (her?) desires felt? A small group of silly idiots in Kansas believes that God is punishing the United States for condoning homosexuality by allowing soldiers to be killed and horribly injured in war, and demonstrates at their funerals with signs like "Thank God for maimed soldiers." In Iran, a strange fellow whose brain hasn't quite made it out of the seventh century believes God is sending earthquakes because women don't dress and behave properly.

And people wonder why I have a problem with some religious beliefs.

I really did plan to write about pens today, and I really do plan to write about them tomorrow. But I just couldn't miss the opportunity to shake my head over the utterly bizarre things people will believe.

And while you're shaking your head, consider that the fellow who thinks earthquakes are caused by scantily-clad women is a representative of the country that is trying very hard to build an atomic bomb.

I think our reality check has just bounced.

Have a good day. Ladies, show your support for science by wearing short skirts and tank tops today!

More thoughts tomorrow.



The Mistress of the Dark said...

Its all those poll dancers that are causing the earthquakes..yeah..that's in.

I have no problem with religion..just idiots...its a shame the biggest ones like to think they are best buds with God

Anonymous said...

Man, he's so obviously wrong. I he were right, all the earthquakes would happen in Brazil, France, and the USA. A quick glance at the newspaper proves that none of these countries are involved in the recent earthquake series. I've been to Haiti, and the only people in revealing clothing couldn't afford a rag to cover themselves. When was the last time you saw a photo shoot on the beaches of Chile? And Iceland, in April? There, anybody in revealing clothing has to thawed out for their funeral! Please forward this scientific analysis to the jerk in question, with a note to look at the calendar to see what century the rest of the world is currently in. And I have a suggestion as to where he can put that calendar when he's done with it!
Eminence Grise

Mike said...

I think the women of Iran should put that theory to the ultimate test. Go naked for ...... EVER!

Wv: pelling - What I do gooder dan anybdy.

Bandit said...

Spring has sprung and the women in the mall are vehemently causing Mr. Richter to jiggle his needle,

Hey, I think I'm hilarious! Linda says that makes one of you.

Amanda said...

I always laugh to myself when I see you label things as 'I couldn't Make This Stuff Up'. Its unbelievable! *shaking my head*