Monday, April 26, 2010

"Lawyering Up"

One of the more interesting new expressions of the last few years is "lawyer up," defined by the Urban Dictionary this way:

"Lawyer Up (intransitive verb): to stop answering questions during a police interrogation and request a lawyer."

I think this is an elegant term, and very useful. Not for me personally, of course, not yet having been caught at never having done anything nefarious, but for politicians, priests, aging Nazis, and - yes - lawyers everywhere. One wonders how the concept of lawyering up for advice on matters of personal misconduct might have been employed by various historical a young George Washington accused of chopping down his father's cherry tree...

"George, did YOU chop down the cherry tree?"

"No, Dad."

"I think you are lying, son. I saw you out here with your axe. Your punishment will be much worse for you if you lie. Now, tell me the truth!"

"Dad, I answered your question truthfully. Still, I must take complete responsibility for all my actions. While my answer was legally accurate, I did not volunteer information.

"Indeed, Dad, I did cause the cherry tree to be lying on the ground. To do this was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible.

"I know my answer to you gave a false impression. I misled you, my own father. I deeply regret that.

"I can only tell you I was motivated by many factors. First, by a desire to protect myself from the embarrassment of my own conduct.

"I was also very concerned about protecting Mom from this shock.

"What I did, Dad, was use a saw to cause the cherry tree to fall. Only after the tree was already down did I go get my axe to chop off individual branches. So, I chopped off branches, but sawed down the tree. Look at the saw cut on the stump and the axe cuts on the branches. Therefore, legally, I told the truth.

"I ask you to turn away from the spectacle of this fallen tree and to return our attention to a solid family relationship."

Lawyering Up ... a great American tradition that allows you to be in the company of such stellar figures as OJ Simpson, Bill Clinton, and Tiger Woods.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.



Mike said...

I'm that's what the latest 'McVey' is going to be doing today.

Mike said...

I hate it when you come back and go, "is that my comment"? Why yes it is. What the hell was I trying to say?! Did I leave out a word. What was it? I'm thinking ..... AND I just figured it out.

Wv: mamomon - As in "that's mamomon that bike over there".