Sunday, April 15, 2012

Making a Clean Breast of Things, So To Speak

In my never-ending quest for self-promotion and increasing the readership of my blog, I have taken to analyzing my regular readership and have found an interesting factoid: the majority of my regular readers seem to be women.

This is not necessarily a bad thing as, like most men, I have spent much of my life trying to attract the attention of the fair sex. But it does lead me to wonder what I can do to attract more men to this little corner of cyberspace. I could write more about things men tend to like, such as cars, guns, professional sports, and Kim Kardashian. Or, I could just spend more time on the Universal Male Attractant: breasts.

No, not these ...

But, well, these ...

I actually got to thinking about the topic of breasts this morning when I followed this link on Miss Cellania's blog: 12 Problems That Only Busty Girls Have. It gave me a new appreciation for the trials and tribulations of the ladies who have been endowed (whether by nature or otherwise) with somewhat more than their fair share of feminine cantileverage.

Of course, we men don't usually think about the down side of such things the way ladies do. We're spring-loaded to appreciate breasts of all shapes and sizes, and we long for the warm summer days of tank tops and halters and the scoopiest of scoop necklines.

For those of us who collect cartoons, there are ample opportunities for humor that spin off from our collective fascination with breasts, such as ...

And ...

And ...

And ...

And then there is the little ditty attributed to one Robert Paul Smith that goes,

B is for Breasts
Of which ladies have two;
Once prized for the function,
Now for the view.

Rodney Dangerfield, the original "I don't get no respect" comedian, once commented that ...

"My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend."

Well, that's enough about breasts for now. It's time to read the Sunday paper, fix breakfast, and get myself ready to head out to the Spring Showcase at Lioudmila's Dance Studio, where I'll be doing the honors as the emcee. This is a much better gig for a dancer than actually performing - I don't have to remember any routines or worry about annoying things like rhythm, timing, and looking utterly blissful even when I know I've royally screwed up.

Oh, and I also get to spend the afternoon looking longingly at beautiful ladies in their sexy ball gowns and Latin costumes. Which brings us back to ... uh ... never mind.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

7 comments:

Big Sky Heidi said...

In my opinion, tossing in a nice pair now and then should increase male participation. And, contrary to the cartoon, many of us don't mind guys looking. As a matter of fact, we sometimes set up those situations.

You can actually get chest makeup, can you believe!

Best wishes with the emceeing tonight!

Duckbutt said...

Great cartoons, Bilbo.

Most blog writers have the problem of being discovered -- few, including possible readers, know about your blog (or mine), including those who might be regular readers.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

You're just a chick magnet, Bilbo.

I think that adding content that is more guy-oriented is good. Maybe not the Kardashians, though; they're overexposed.

Mike said...

I'm just commenting to even out the guy/girls comment ratio at tis time.

allenwoodhaven said...

I learned only about ten years ago that my grandfather had an expression he'd use this time of year when the heavy winter clothes were put away for more revealing attire. He'd say, "Oh look, it's national apple week!"

Bilbo said...

Heidi - chest makeup?? Oy...

Duckbutt - I've tried all sorts of small-scale self-promotion things, but I guess I'm growing comfortable with my small circle of dedicated readers that grows slowly.

Angelique - I'm 60 years old, for Pete's sake, with 5 grandchildren and a sixth on the way! So, NOW I'm a chick magnet????

Mike - you're a real pal.

Allen - I think I'd have liked your grandfather!

Bob said...

Heh...BOOBIES!