Monday, June 25, 2012

The Ass Clown of the Month Award Returns!

Cue the drum roll ...

Today, after a long hiatus, we bring back the Ass Clown of the Month Award!

It's been about six months since our last award, and it's not for lack of suitable candidates ... the problem - as ever - is that there are so many candidates, and they're all so well-qualified, that it's been too hard to choose.

But finally we have a clear standout candidate for designation as the June 2012 Ass Clown of the Month ... Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R, Kentucky).

I have long been in awe of Senator McConnell's prowess at ass clownery, but he made his breakout grab for stardom this week when he published this op-ed article in yesterday's Washington Post: The Dangers Disclosure Can Pose to Free Speech.

Yes, Dear Readers, in this amazing article, Senator McConnell argues that it is important that - "in the face of alarming harassment and intimidation of Americans actively engaged in the political process" - it is more critical than ever that donors to political campaigns be able to hide their funding of individual parties and candidates behind a veil of secrecy.

According to Senator McConnell, good citizens who wish to exercise their right to protected political speech by investing large amounts of money in political campaigns are an endangered species, because the Evil Government is intent on silencing them by engaging the full oppressive might of "the Federal Communications Commission, the Internal Revenue Service, the Securities and Exchange Commission, and the Department of Health and Human Services, and even through a proposed executive order aimed at denying critics government contracts."

Oddly enough, Senator McConnell seems to be not at all concerned that ordinary citizens might have a vested interest in knowing who is spending huge, unrestricted amounts of money on behalf of candidates who later might possibly owe favors to those contributors.

No, Senator McConnell is concerned only with protecting campaign donors (and their money) from the heavy hand of a government hell-bent on exposing them to the light of public scrutiny.

The senator argues that "if government-compelled disclosure is forced upon some but not all, it’s not an act of good government but a political weapon" - a point which is undeniably true. Unfortunately, disclosure is, in fact, to be applied to all. The issue is that it is feared by those with the most to hide ... those who would impose their own opinions and beliefs on the country by using the weight of their cash-purchased influence.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Ass Clown of the Month - Senator Mitch McConnell. Brought to you by ... an anonymous donor.

Have a good day. You are not entitled to know who it is who is funding that wish.

More thoughts tomorrow.



eViL pOp TaRt said...

Nice selection. Usually people who object to financial disclosures in their campaigns think that the source of funding would be deemed shameful or embarassing to the people they represent.

Melissa B. said...

Ol' Mitchy deserves even more than that! Not surprisingly, all of the awards I can think of either end or start with *ass*. Rather fitting, don't you think?

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

He is tiresome dude. Needs a vow of silence.

Mike said...

How about 'engaging the full oppressive might' of the dog catcher? Maybe he could get rid of some of these mongrels.

Big Sky Heidi said...

Nothing good comes out of Kentucky except for bourbon.

allenwoodhaven said...

Hiding donors keeps citizens from knowing how much it costs to purchase and maintain an "elected" official. That's not fair!

Bilbo, will you reveal the cost of being honored as an ass clown of the month? I bet some politicians would pay a lot for the mention. (Some believe there is no bad press....)

The Bastard King of England said...

Maybe ass clowns should be given a month off as a reward. Less damage done.