Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Great Male Survey, Part 2 (And a Rant)

Yesterday's post shared with you some of the results of The Great Male Survey of 2012, as reported by online magazine The survey wanted to know, among other things, "what makes a 'Real Man' in 2012," coming up with such suggestions as:

“Being a great father and husband who looks after his family” (57%);
“Being a great leader and motivator” (22%);
“Having manly skills, like the ability to fix things” (6%);
“Being charismatic and popular,” (5%);
“Being wealthy” (3%); and,
“Being a great seducer and lover” (1%)*.

To this list, I might add another:

"Flushing the %#&@! toilet."

One of the amazing inventions of recent times has been the Amazing Automatically Flushing Toilet**, which has been installed in many public rest rooms. It uses a sensor to detect the departure of one's backside from the seat, automatically triggering a flush which - voila! - removes the offending political statements.

The problem arises when the Amazing Automatically Flushing Toilet doesn't automatically flush ... and the clueless dumbass*** who has just voted wanders off without pushing the emergency flush button****, leaving an unpleasant surprise for the next visitor.

So, here's a message to Real Men everywhere: make sure the toilet flushes when you are done. We don't need to hear your intimate cell phone call with your girlfriend from the next stall, and we certainly don't need to see how well your colon operates.

Thank you.

Have a good day. Flush. Twice, if necessary. More thoughts tomorrow.


* You knew some clown had to put that one in.

** It is, sadly, not true that Thomas Crapper invented the flush toilet. Read all about it here.

*** He was probably distracted by his cell phone conversation ... we all know that public rest room stalls provide privacy and security for your most sensitive and personal discussions.

**** Yes, there is one!


eViL pOp TaRt said...

Sadly, this is also true in ladies' rooms.

....offending political statements.... You have coined a new euphemism, Bilbo. Congratulations!

Amanda said...

Adrian has started checking toilets before he goes. If its the tiniest bit 'yucky' he won't go. I don't blame him, when you're his height and looking into a public toilet, you see everything!

Big Sky Heidi said...

Those automatic flush toilets may contribute to the problem in two ways:

1. They don't always work.

2. They excuse the user from personal presponsibility for seeing that wastes are properly flushed.

Duckbutt said...

I believe that the likelihood of finding an unflushed toilet in an airport restyroom approaches 100%

John said...

Surprise, surprise! Apparently women are just as disgusting (and lazy) as men!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Hubby goes into people's home for a living. He is in their bathrooms. People do not flush. He told me this and I was so shocked. REally? He sent me a mobile pix because I just never believed him.
Some cultures apparently do this more than most. I find this a disgusting habit, trait, whatever!

Mike said...

I guess if you have an outhouse at home you're not used to flushing?

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Ever try squat toilets? Some you don't put toilet paper in; use the garbage can.