This Presidency Brought to You by the Letter "D"

The classic children's television show Sesame Street used many clever ideas to teach basic language and number concepts to young children. One often-used idea was to have individual shows sponsored by letters of the alphabet, for example: "Today's show is brought to you by the letter A, as in apple, antelope, and asparagus."

Following the Sesame Street lead, it occurs to me that Der Furor's administration is being sponsored by the letter D

as in ... 

Death (as a consequence of the destruction of our public health system by RFK, Jr, and an insistent refusal even to discuss measures to reduce the cost of health care);

Denial (consistently denying obvious reality in the face of all evidence to the contrary ... for instance, insisting that grocery prices are dropping when every family can see the opposite at the grocery store);

Destruction (of our national reputation as a reliable and honorable ally);

Demolition (of the East Wing of the White House, not to mention our traditions and standards of honest, representative government);

Defecation (who could have imagined a sitting president gleefully publishing an AI-generated video of himself as a king, bombing his citizens with excrement?);

Demagoguery (too many nasty words, too few useful ideas);

Despicable (the sort of bullying, narcissistic behavior demonstrated every day by Der Furor would have horrified the Founders, as it should horrify decent people everywhere);

Disaster (when it strikes, federal recovery aid depends on degree of demonstrated support for Der Furor);

Deployment (sending military forces into our cities in response to imagined or overhyped domestic threats);

Drugs (the go-to excuse for committing murder on the high seas without any offering of evidence); and, 

Duck (responsibility when things go sideways)

I could go on, but you get the idea.

And, speaking of Sesame Street, you may recall the time when Congress actually did its job according to the Constitution, debating bills and passing laws, as memorably explained in this classic video ...

I remember the good old days, when the writings of George Orwell and Margaret Atwood were still considered fiction.

Have a good day, and think carefully about the votes you cast in next week's elections and in the upcoming midterms. My grandchildren will have to live with what you do.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Getting Ready for Election Season

Last week I offered you the use of some of the better warning signs I've run across. Today we have signs of a different sort ... to get you ready for next year's election. We already know that the election will cost billions of dollars (for attack ads, annoying robo-calls, and roadside signs) that might have been spent on infrastructure repair, education, medical care, or the Gigantic Trump Memorial Wall to Keep the Mexicans Out. In the end, you'll sigh, scratch your head, and vote for the lesser of the two evils ... unless, of course, you're a Republican, in which case you won't need to sigh or scratch your head, because Faux News and the Koch brothers will already have told you who to vote for.

Here are a few of my favorite election season signs ...

The first two are pretty similar, but I like the added imagery of the empty suit in the first one ...

I like this one because it reminds us that "Nobody has all the answers." Except libertarians, of course ...

Why vote for the lesser of two evils when you can vote for the greatest evil of them all? ...

When was the last time you heard a politician admit he was in it to obtain power for himself?

Don't like (or can't pronounce) Cthulhu? How about Megatron? ...

These are just a few to start you off. I'll share more cynicism with you as the election heats up.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Blame Game

One of the things that drives me crazy about our current crop of elected reprehensives is their focus not on solving problems, but on scoring political points by assigning blame ... preferably as loudly and continuously as possible, and not necessarily with any connection to truth or reality.

Everybody does it. Each party has its beloved issues that it uses as cudgels to pound savagely on the other, and in the meantime nothing gets done. The only effect is that other countries shake their heads in amazement and wonder what happened to the strong and united nation that used to be where the United States is now.

Need some help with navigating the blame game? Here's a handy chart I drew up to help you understand how it works ... click to embiggen:

No need to thank me - it's all part of my continuing efforts to help you develop the necessary level of disdain for the people who are pursuing their political agendas instead of doing what's right for the nation.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Brave Ugly New World

A few months ago, an old friend e-mailed me to let me know that he was no longer going to read my blog or comment on any of my Facebook posts because I was unfairly, wrongly, and overly critical of the Republican Party, while giving a free pass to the Democrats. I replied that he was partly true in that I'm much harder on Republicans than on Democrats because I am, at heart, a fiscal and social conservative, but that I'd been utterly disgusted by the social/economic/political mush that passes for rational public policy in the modern conservative era. Let us not forget that Senator Mitch McConnell said before the last election that the GOP's primary goal was to make sure that Mr Obama would be a one-term president. When that didn't work out, their primary goal became to make sure that the Obama administration would be completely unable to accomplish anything at all, by whatever means necessary. Perhaps it's just me, but I think that's a pretty poor excuse for public policy.

As I've written here often enough, if I'm harder on the GOP, it's because I think I should be able to expect more from thinking conservatives ... and there are darned few of those any more, let me tell you.

So it occurred to me to wonder what might happen if the Tea Party and "traditional" Republicans are ever able to quit stabbing each other in the back and actually employ enough social and economic smoke and mirrors to win the presidency (and, God forbid, both houses of Congress). Here are a few of the things we might expect ...

- The Internal Revenue Service would be shut down and all taxes eliminated. The few government agencies allowed to remain (other than the Department of Defense and anything perceived as good for big business) would be required to generate their own funding via bake sales, car washes, and similar activities.

- The Department of Health and Human Services would be closed and replaced with the Department of Get Off Your Lazy Ass and Quit Whining.

- The National Weather Service would be shut down. After all, everyone can just look out the window and see what the weather is like.

- The Department of Defense would revert to its original name, the Department of War.

- The National Academy of Sciences would be replaced by the National Academy of That's What the Bible Says, End of Discussion.

- Congress would reorganize itself to eliminate all committees and subcommittees and replace them with a single Senate/House Permanent Select Committee on Investigating All the Horrible Stuff the Democrats Do.

- The Constitution would be revised by moving the Second Amendment up to the main body of the text, making it Article I, and renumbering the subsequent articles. The pesky limitations on the imposition of religious tests for office holders would be removed from Article VI, and the part of the First Amendment that talks about Congress "mak(ing) no law respecting an establishment of religion" would be amended to specify that it excludes the Christian religion.

- Immigration reform would go high-tech, with large investments made to seal the border using the technology introduced by Stephen King in his novel, Under the Dome.

- All government facilities would be required to have a minimum eight-foot tall statue of Ronald Reagan prominently displayed. All government facilities not already named for Ronald Reagan would be appropriately renamed. The fact that Ronald Reagan would have been disowned by the present-day Republican Party would continue to be conveniently ignored.

- Social Security would be eliminated and the Social Security Trust Fund redistributed to fund tax cuts for the wealthy and job creators^TM. Elderly people would be encouraged to relocate to other countries.

- Medicare and Medicaid would be eliminated and replaced by the distribution (at cost) of home first-aid kits.

Welcome to the brave new GOP world*.

Have a good day. Think for yourself, not in political slogans and bumper stickers.

See you back here for Cartoon Saturday.

Bilbo

* With apologies to Aldous Huxley.

Things I Can't Take Seriously

From the Department of Shameless Plagiarism comes this idea for a blog post, courtesy of my friend and former co-worker Jeff.

Yesterday, Jeff posted on his Facebook page a list of things he finds difficult to take seriously. I thought that, despite our positions on opposite ends of the political spectrum, his list was remarkably good, and I decided to seize the idea and use it to generate my own list. And so, Dear Readers, here is the (greatly abridged) list of Things Bilbo Finds Hard to Take Seriously, with my inevitable comments (items which overlap Jeff's list are in italics) ...

Weight Loss Pills - who can believe in this stuff? The only thing weight loss pills are guaranteed to help you lose is money.

Super Political Action Committees - any organization that's dedicated to buying elections while hiding the identity of the people who are buying can't be taken seriously ... but should.

PETA - Yes, we should treat animals humanely. No, we shouldn't act like utter morons while doing it.

The National Rifle Association - Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Of course, they usually use guns to do it, but why worry about that? - the Second Amendment says it's absolutely, positively, undeniably, and unchangeably right and proper.

Political Ads - Why spend all that money telling me what a bum the other guy is? I want to know what you stand for and what you will do. The fact that you can't or won't tell me tells me all I need to know about you.

Playing the "Race Card" - you can be black, white, brown, red, yellow, or any combination thereof and still be a despicable ass clown.

The UN - Not a bad idea in theory, but reduced to near irrelevance by political grandstanding.

Code Pink - Well, at least it gives clueless dumbasses something to rally around.

Shampoo Instructions - lather, rinse, repeat ... who the hell does that except shampoo manufacturers looking to double their sales?

North Korea - Let 'em eat nukes.

Unhinged Pro-Choice and Pro-Life Protesters - As if the social, moral, and ethical issues weren't tough enough, we get to listen to hysterical baboons scream past each other while doing absolutely nothing to solve the underlying problems.

Religious Bigots - worshiping God while dumping on their fellow man. That Motel 6 in the clouds ain't keeping the lights on for you.

Donald Trump - Absolute, undeniable proof that possession of huge amounts of money simply marks the dividing line between odious gasbags and rich, odious gasbags. 

The Democratic and Republican National Committees - living, breathing examples of the replacement of sound, principled governance with sordid power grabs.

Well, that's my starting list ... what's on yours? Leave me a comment.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Guest Post

Hey, everybody - it's me, Nessa! I haven't posted anything here for a while, and I'm writing this early so that Bilbo can publish it for me later ... because I'm afraid I won't be here any more.

Yep, I've been kind of sick for the last couple of months, with this nasty thing growing on my left eye. Bilbo and Agnes took me to the vet a couple of weeks ago and had it removed, but it grew back very fast, and even bigger than before. When they talked about it they used the word cancer, which I know isn't a good thing ... so I've been getting my affairs in order, if you know what I mean. Later on this afternoon, they're taking me back to the vet, and this time, I won't be coming back.

Now, I'm not the smartest pup in the litter, but I know that I've had a good, fun life. Bilbo and Agnes loved me and took great care of me, and all their children and grandchildren did, too ...

I had lots of time to play, guarded Bilbo's house against all those mailmen and door-to-door salesmen, and enjoyed those long walks with him in the evening before bed, when he told me all his troubles and I helped him relax. He still likes telling the story about the time he took me for a walk in the woods behind the house and got lost, and it took hours for us to find our way back! He's not a bad guy, you know ... he might make a good dog someday, with the right training!

So don't feel sorry for me ... I know that Punky and Moseby and Wooly and all my friends are waiting for me, and there'll be plenty of cats and squirrels to chase, and plenty of toys and treats, and water and food bowls that are always full. And I know that when Bilbo and Agnes finally get here, we'll all be able to play again just like before.

Everybody be safe and love each other. When you get here, look me up ... we can throw a few frisbees or something.

Goodbye, and Woof!

Nessa

You Might Be a Democrat If...

One of the things that enrages me (as my friend the Eminence Grise knows well, and uses to advantage) is being labeled a "liberal" or a "Democrat." I like to think of myself as a rock-solid Independent, wavering slightly between the left and the right. I might describe myself as a "principled conservative" on fiscal issues and a "principled liberal" on social issues had not liberals and conservatives so thoroughly discredited themselves.

Yesterday, I offered part one of the Bewildered Observer's Field Guide to Political Ass Clowns - "You Might Be a Republican If..." Today, we pour satirical sauce on the gander with equal time for the dumbasses of the left:

You Might Be a Democrat If...

You believe that inconvenient Constitutional guarantees (such as the right to keep and bear arms) can be sidestepped by judicial action.

You believe that if a company closes down a factory to move production to a country with cheaper labor, it will have a devastating affect on the economy and is grossly unfair to the oppressed workers, but see no problem with government closure of the same factory because it produces barely-measurable amounts of pollution.

You believe pornography demeans women, but find nothing wrong with a 50 year old president seducing a 21 year old intern.

You believe a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.

You actually expect to collect Social Security.

You reflexively oppose every plan offered by a Republican, but are unable to form any plans of your own.

You believe self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You oppose capital punishment, but support abortion on demand and "assisted suicide."

You believe terrorists murder innocent people because they are misunderstood and have legitimate grievances that must be addressed.

You worry about how the French view Americans.

You have no problem with Hollywood celebrities flying around the country in private jets to give speeches on the evils of SUVs.

You oppose a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day as government indoctrination, imposition of religious values on helpless children, and undercutting of parental authority, but support sex education, condom distribution, and multiculturalism.

You believe that this list is part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

Exaggeration? Yep. Accurate? Yep.

If you recognized yourself in either yesterday's Republican list or today's Democratic one, perhaps you need to step back and rethink a few things. Then come and join me in the middle.

It's getting lonely here.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

P.S. - According to this morning's news, the Libyan opposition forces are retreating. They're blaming the US and NATO for their setbacks. You could have seen that coming.

B.

You Might Be a Republican If...

I can't remember if I've ever run this before, but just in case here is the list, revised and updated ...

You Might Be a Republican If ...

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage...which is too damn high, anyhow.

You demand that the government be shut down to force huge cuts in spending, except for programs you support.

You believe government spending should be reduced by a specific dollar amount, without regard to which specific programs need to be eliminated or reduced.

You're pro-life, but support the death penalty.

The only unions you support are those for professional athletes.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the "moral fiber" of something.

You've ever asked, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches?" ... then, once the bombing starts, demand to know why we're bombing the sons of bitches, what the goal of the operation is, how much it costs, and what the President was thinking when he decided to do such a stupid thing.

You fax the FBI a list of terrorists living in your neighborhood.

You don't let your children watch Sesame Street because you think Bert and Ernie are gay.

You believe that art has "a moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever told a panhandler to get a job.

You argue that you must be allowed to own an unlimited number of guns in order to defend yourself against all the other people who own unlimited numbers of guns. And who knows? - a rabid bear might break into your house.

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You believe education and health care are luxuries.

You don't understand why donations to the Pentagon are not tax-deductable.

You absolutely believe that there's a monolithic "liberal media," you're afraid of it, and you believe every word you hear on Fox News because somebody needs to tell the truth.

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch lives in a trash can because he's lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society.

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

Tomorrow, in the interest of equal opportunity for all ass clowns, our theme will be "You Might Be a Democrat If..."

After all, religious and political labels are independent of intelligence. Or lack thereof.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo