Sunday, December 02, 2012

Old Joke ...

The other day over at Billions of Versions of Normal, Mike addressed what turns out to be a long-standing myth: that the posture of the horse in a statue of a mounted war hero has a particular meaning (all four hooves on the ground, one hoof in the air, horse rearing up on its hind legs*, etc). I had heard this before, but it was still interesting.

And it reminded me of an old joke ...

At the entrance to a park in a large city, a pair of statues stood on pedestals across from each other - a naked (but oddly modest) man and a naked (but, in the typical fashion of statues, not-quite so modest) woman, each reaching out to the other to form an archway of yearning but unrequited love across the sidewalk. For many years, through summers and winters, sun and rain and snow, the statues reached out to each other, their fingers scant inches apart, yet never touching.

One day an unemployed fairy** happened by and noticed the two statues. "This is so sad," she said in her high-pitched fairy voice. "All these years you have stood here in all weather, yearning for each other, yet never knowing each other's loving touch." A tear rolled down the fairy's cheek, and she suddenly realized that she could do a good deed! Reaching into her knapsack **, she pulled out a small bag of fairy dust and sprinkled it over the statues. "Live!" she whispered. "Indulge your passion so long denied!"

For a moment, nothing happened. And then, slowly, the two statues shuddered and began to move. They stretched legs and arms long locked in a single position, rotated necks stiff from years of inactivity, and gradually straightened up and stood on their pedestals with looks of awe on their now-living faces. And then the male statue shouted, "At last!!" as he leaped down from his pedestal and grabbed the female statue by the hand, and the two raced into the dense bushes beside the walkway.

For a few minutes there was silence, and then a burst of furious activity! Twigs cracked, leaves flew, and clouds of dust rose up, punctuated by gasps and moans and frantic cries of passionate abandon. This went on for many minutes, and then suddenly there was silence again.

Behind the bushes, the two statues lay side by side on the ground, their sweat-soaked bodies now streaked with mud, their hair tangled and full of leaves and broken twigs. They lay panting and gasping for several long minutes, and then the male statue asked gently, "How was it for you?"

"Oh, God, it was wonderful!" the female statue gasped. I never dreamed it could be so amazing!"

The male statue looked over at her and asked with a sly wink, "Shall we do it again?"

"Oh, yes!  YES!!" the female statue panted, with a look of pure ecstasy on her face. "Only this time, YOU hold the pigeon down and I'LL poop on him!"

Don't blame me ... blame Mike. It was his post that reminded me of the joke.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.


* Mike reminds us in his post that the depiction of an animal rearing up on its hind legs is known in heraldry as a "rampant" figure. My own personal coat of arms shows a debtor rampant on a field of unpaid bills.

** Angel, perhaps your Guardian Angel Steve could use some help.

*** So, how did you think fairies carried things around?


Amanda said...

HA! I've never heard this joke...

allenwoodhaven said...

great joke! I look forward to passing it along.It's sure to get some good laughs.

Mike said...

Unfortunately I'm old too and I had heard that joke. I'd forgotten it and needed to read 3/4ths of it before the long lost neuron fired for the ah ha moment of remembering. But it did fire.