Thursday, October 31, 2013

Bilbo Answers Your Questions: Part 1

Yesterday I invited all of you to submit your questions on any topic to ol' Bilbo, and as of this moment seven of you have responded. Because I always try to be a gentleman, I'll answer the ladies' questions first ...

1. Angel asked, "What are Bilbo's third and fourth laws?"

Actually, Angel, I have five laws at this point (the number varies, sort of like Gibbs' rules on NCIS). You know that the first two are:

Bilbo's First Law: "Don't let anyone else do your thinking for you;" and,

Bilbo's Second Law: "Don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer."

The other three are ...

Bilbo's Third Law: "Never pass up a chance to hug your children (and/or grandchildren) and tell them you love them." I learned this one late, and am trying to make up for lost time.

Bilbo's Fourth Law: "Never drive anyplace to which you can walk." It's cheaper, and you can use the exercise. And finally,

Bilbo's Fifth Law: "Never pass up a chance to go to the bathroom." You'll appreciate this one when you get older.

2. My friend Leslie wanted to know, "Are you and Agnes going to start dancing again?"

Our dancing was cut severely back over the last year by a combination of travel, illness, baby-sitting, and general lethargy. Our current plan is to ease back into things during the upcoming round of holiday parties, and start dancing regularly again in the new year. We will probably not compete any more, but will turn out to take pictures and cheer for our friends who do. In any case, I need to get back in terpsichorean shape for the Tango I plan to dance with my high-school friend Marilyn at the next reunion* ...

She paid a lot of money for that new knee, and it's up to me to help make sure she gets a return on the investment.

All but one of the other questions that were posed are political in nature, and we'll answer those tomorrow. The exception was Mike (who else?), who observed that, "The NSA already feeds me everything I need to know about you."

Thanks, Mike. I was already paranoid.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for more answers to your questions. If you have other questions, there's still time - leave a comment or e-mail me at der(underscore)blogmeister(at)yahoo(dot)com.


* Results may vary.


eViL pOp TaRt said...

Thank you. I like your other three laws! I would amend the last to include the stipulation that the bathroom be clean!

Mike said...

I already knew you were paranoid.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

I always pee before a meeting.

Ashley Corss said...

@Elvis, me too :P