Thursday, October 24, 2013

I Know What You Do ...


I don't remember if I've done this post theme before ... I think I did some years back, but if it's been long enough that I don't remember, I guess it's okay to do it again.

You know that I really love puns. Good puns and bad puns*, verbal and visual puns. I can drive you crazy with puns, and my mother was worse. I often get into running pun battles with my friends on Facebook that can go on for days. Puns ... you've gotta love 'em.

One particular category of puns I really enjoy is that of dreaming up names for people that reflect their occupations. My mother was great at this, and a great source of such puns nowadays is the NPR program "Car Talk," which ends each show with a hysterically funny list of staff members (the best so far is the head of their working mothers' support group, Erasmus B. Dragon).

So, in the interest of something light to get your mind off horrible things like the Virginia governor's race**, how about a roster of good names for people that hint at what they do ...

A medieval castle defense historian named Mandy Battlements.

A pair of parking lot attendants named Nick Adore and Denton Fenders.

A Japanese personal hygiene specialist named Oh Takashawa.

An insurance agent named Justin Case.

A female bouncer named Amanda B. Warov.

A Balkan historian named Hugo Slavia.

A female televangelist named Pearl E. Gates.

A personal grooming advisor named Anita Pearance.

A nurse named Angela Mercy.

A conspiracy theorist named Nadia Believeme.

A proctologist named Cameron Diaz.

A Hertz rental agent named Lisa Car.

A car salesperson named Portia Audi.

and finally ...

A social climber named Marion Ford DeMoney.

Anyone have any other ideas? Leave a comment. It will give us something to groan at besides the House GOP.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Usually the same.

** I'm voting for "None of the Above." 

7 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Groan...but in a good way

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Yes, good groans.

How about a meterologist named Kuhl Breeze? Or a person at the returns counter in a store called G. Howie Gripes?

John Hill said...

At the customer service desk--Helen Waite. If you have a complaint, go to Helen Waite.

Bilbo said...

Angel - the meteorologist probably works with a partner named Sonny Skies. And the returns counter fellow's partner might be Orville Takeitback.

John - I know that lady!

Big Sky Heidi said...

How about a politician named Lotte Bull?

Mike said...

I've been to see Cameron recently.

Bilbo said...

Heidi - if you read the comic strip "Shoe," you know that one of the recurring characters is the shifty senator Batson D. Belfry. He probably has an assistant named Phyllis Buster.

Mike - me, too. And Cameron had a daughter Sasha, who married a fellow named Payne, and became Sasha Payne-Diaz.