Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Distinguishing Features


From discussions with Bernadette and Richard, who are visiting us from Germany, as well as discussions and comments with my other friends who live in other countries, I'm aware that much of the world is looking at current-day America and asking, "What's wrong with you people?"

I try to explain it in terms of the things that I learned in basic civics classes many years ago (back when school children actually had to learn about things like The Constitution and the responsibilities of good citizenship). I explain about things like checks and balances, our two-party system, the differences between the House and the Senate, and paranoid schizophrenia.

Sadly, most such discussions end with my foreign interlocutors shaking their heads sadly and wondering why, when Americans have so many freedoms and rights, we insist on using them to be stupid instead of working to resolve the problems we have.

I recently found in my files a document which might help to explain some of the major differences between Republicans* and Democrats. I reproduce it here as a way of aiding my overseas friends in distinguishing between members of the two political parties ...

How To Tell Republicans From Democrats 

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

Democrats give their worn out clothes to those less fortunate.
Republicans wear theirs.

Democrats name their children after currently popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers.
Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is.

Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should.
Democrats ought to, but don't.

Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first.

Democrats make plans and then do something else. 
Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made. 

Democrats want to party like it's 1999.
Republicans want to party like it's 1789.

Republicans sleep in twin beds--some even in separate rooms. 
That is why there are more Democrats.

I hope this helps you understand the differences, if not the stupidity.


Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Also traditionally known as the GOP, or "Grand Old Party." Some current Republicans interpret this instead as "Growth and Opportunity Party," although they tend to pursue short-term tactics that stifle growth and limit opportunity.

6 comments:

eViL pOp TaRt said...

A fine distinction between the two. So are Blue Dog Democrats and RINOs better adjusted?

Mike said...

Very good comparison.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Bill I like the comparison. I love the ecard!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Spot on

Fran├žoise said...

Would Repubicans be more happy if they had more sex? I dont know. Texas is too Repubican, but they seem to have a lot of sex going on. Lap dancers in Dallas and Wacko.

Insane Penguin said...

Waco is wacko.