Thursday, May 08, 2014

The Ass Clown of the Month for May, 2014


It's getting increasingly hard to select a single recipient of the Ass Clown of the Month Award. It seems as if every day more and more ridiculous ass clowns are coming out of the woodwork, each more deserving of the award than the next. In the last few weeks alone, we have the murderous religious bigots of Boko Haram, the utterly insane Georgia legislature that has made the open carry of loaded weapons almost everywhere in the state - including bars (!) - legal, and the GOP's decision to continue to waste the people's time and resources on yet another meaningless committee hearing into the Benghazi attack, in the fervent hope that it will somehow magically turn into a politically expedient scandal. How can I possibly select from among this embarrassment of riches?

Well, it's a tough job, but someone's got to do it and it looks as if I'm it. Dear Readers, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you my selection for the Ass Clown of the Month ...


Chris Sevier


Mr Sevier attempted to intervene in a Florida same-sex marriage lawsuit "on behalf of other minority sexual orientation groups," according to a local newspaper, which noted that Mr Sevier's motion was "obviously an attempt to punk the legal system because he doesn't agree with gay marriage." Mr Sevier, an attorney and a music producer, had filed a motion demanding the right to marry his preferred sexual object ... his porn-loaded laptop computer.

Mr Sevier stated in his motion that if gay couples "have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object."

In a burst of judicial wisdom not often seen in today's litigious society, Judge Robert Hinkle wrote the following in his ruling dismissing Mr Sevier's motion ...

"Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit."

"Removed from reality." I wonder if Faux News has picked this one up yet.

For wasting the time of courts that have better things to do, and for making an utter fool of himself, Chris Sevier is named our Ass Clown of the Month for May, 2014. 

Case dismissed.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

10 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

so many ass clowns so few months to honor or rather dishonor them.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

He's an ass clown, that is certain. Also being an attorney makes him capable of more mischief. At least he's not a congressperson.

Watching the situation in Nigeria with concern.

KathyA said...

The situation in Nigeria should scare the hell out of all of us.

Sevier wants to appear to be intelligent; what an idiot.

Duckbutt said...

It sounds like a misguided ploy to boost his law practice. The idiot.

Insane Penguin said...

Boko Harum gets my vote.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

A great choice!

Judge Roy Moore deserves a horrible mention, though.

Mike said...

He's a two timer...

"A Tennessee man is suing Apple, claiming the tech giant is at fault for selling devices that grant him unrestricted access to porn on the internet."

Do you love your porn or not!

Grand Crapaud said...

The Georgia legislature is my choice.

allenwoodhaven said...

So many ass clowns to choose from and it's only May 8th. All are worthy and I expect, unfortunately, that there will be many more before May 31. Perhaps the solution is to produce more Ass Clown of the Month awards. Can the factory ramp up production? It could be set up like the Oscars with different categories, to cover more of the ass clowns of the world.

Big Sky Heidi said...

Whoever resurrected Monica Lewinsky is a honorable mention Ass Clown.