Wednesday, June 04, 2014

The Ass Clown of the Month Award for June, 2014

Every month I struggle with the question of how long to wait before selecting the Ass Clown of the Month.

Sometimes, the choice is clear very early in the month, and yet part of me wants to hold off in the sure knowledge that another equally deserving - if not better - candidate will arise. Thus it is that I have decided that I will continue to designate an Ass Clown of the Month, but will reserve the right (because it's my blog, of course) to nominate others during the month if needed.

So many ass clowns, so little time.

This month, the choice is so blindingly obvious that I saw no reason to wait any longer - while there will certainly be other worthy nominees, one stands so far above the teeming horde that I could not in good conscience pass up the opportunity to provide him the recognition he deserves. Dear Readers, the Ass Clown of the Month for the month of June, 2014 is

Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher
AKA "Joe the Plumber"

Mr Wurzelbacher, a long-time right-wing pseudo-celebrity, wrote an open letter to the parents of those who were shot to death by Eliot Rodger in his horrifying killing spree last month. In the letter, he wrote these words of compassion and empathy:

"I am sorry you lost your child. I myself have a son and daughter and the one thing I never want to go through, is what you are going through now. But ... (as) harsh as this sounds – your dead kids don’t trump my Constitutional rights.”

Yes, Dear Readers, you heard that correctly: the murder of innocents is less important than the right to own as many deadly weapons as one wishes.

I'm not sure what Joe the Plumber would have thought if his own children had been murdered in cold blood. It sounds to me as if he'd stand up and proudly defend the right of their killer to carry his loaded weapons of choice everywhere and murder people as he saw fit.

Our Ass Clown of the Year for 2012 was Wayne LaPierre, Vice President of the National Rifle Association and staunch defender of totally unrestricted gun rights. It was Mr LaPierre who, after the massacre of 20 children and teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School, urged the wider proliferation of deadly weapons, piously informing us that "the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun." Well, tell me this, Mr LaPierre and Mr Wurzelbacher: when I'm in a restaurant or bar, or on the street, or in a movie theater, or in a church or school, and I'm surrounded by heavily-armed people exercising their Constitutional right (as interpreted by the Supreme Court) to bear arms ... how do I tell the good guys from the bad guys? How do I know if I'm in danger? Who is the threat? All I see is a lot of weapons in the hands of people I don't know. I don't know if they are sober, law-abiding citizens who have received the appropriate training and are prepared to behave responsibly, or if they're crazy people who have decided today is the day they'll get even with all the people they think have wronged them. They don't wear signs that tell me which is which. All I know is that there's a whole lot of potential death surrounding me, carried by people whose motives I can't judge.

And this is the horror and insanity of the current right-wing gun rights craze: in the words of William Safire, "The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right."

Our Ass Clown awardee for this month, a man more concerned with his right to pack iron than with your right to live, is Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher. Mr Wurzelbacher personifies everything that is wrong with today's hyperconservatives - no heart, no brain, and a monumental sense of personal entitlement disconnected from a sense of responsibility for the consequences and consideration for the rights and safety of others.

He'd probably appreciate a 21-gun salute to mark the occasion.

Have a good day, and be safe. Remember what Mr Safire said.

More thoughts tomorrow.



eViL pOp TaRt said...

Such an insensitive guy! He's definitely a live example of not knowing what to say and not say. A true ass clown!

Joe the Plumber: Your 15 minutes are up. And you blew it, big time!


Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

I agree with your choice.
Good work Mr. Bilbo.

KathyA said...

Suffering from narcissism, undoubtedly. And that 21-gun salute should be pointed at him.

Fortunately, with time and love these parents' grieve will abate, if only slightly. Unfortunately, the prognosis for Joe's 'ass-holiness' is not so good...

Banana Oil said...

An excellent choice. He's a moron.

Big Sky Heidi said...

He has a smug look on his face that I'd like to wipe off.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Like with a septic tank, the biggest ass clowns rise to the top!

Mike said...

Even Mr. LaPierre thought it was a little too much. So when the NRA tries to distance themselves from you just how crazy are you?