Updated Fairy Tales

Some time ago I read a clever article on Miss Cellania's blog that wondered how our favorite fairy tales might be different if they'd been written today. I thought I'd dig it out of the blog fodder file and share it with you today, along with my additions and edits. Consider these updated fairy tales ...

Little Bo Peep keeps track of her sheep with embedded silicon identity chips.

Cinderella searches for her prince on Match.com.

Hansel and Gretel use GPS rather than following a trail of bread crumbs; however, they had great difficulty stuffing the wicked witch into her microwave oven.

Alice now plans her Wonderland vacations with travelocity.com.

The Three Little Pigs bought a condo in a gated community with 24-hour security.

A reformed Ebenezer Scrooge sends Bob Cratchett to update his certification for Excel and Quicken.

Jack has just launched the IPO of his company based on the bioengineering techniques that led to major breakthroughs in bean stalk productivity.

Sleeping Beauty sleeps better with her CPAP machine.

Old McDonald uses voice recognition to make ordering easy at his agricultural auction site - http://www.eieio.com.

Little Red Riding Hood's concealed carry permit came in useful when she emptied a 15-round magazine into the Big Bad Wolf.

Romeo and Juliet avoid tragic miscommunications by exchanging text messages frequently.

With her extensive web experience, Charlotte is now in great demand as a motivational speaker at tech conferences.

King Arthur has been able to slash his royal travel budget by using satellite video conferencing rather than flying his knights in for round table meetings.

Gulliver uses his frequent flyer miles to do even more traveling.

Jack and Jill avoid unexpected medical expenses by arranging for home delivery of bottled water.

And ...

The Three Billy Goats Gruff avoid problems with the troll at the bridge by using their E-Z Pass transponder.

Have a good day. Keep your fairy tales up to date* ... your children and grandchildren will never believe them otherwise.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Not applicable to the GOP.