Monday, October 03, 2016

Catching Up on the Junk

I've written several times in this space about the amazing amount of junk e-mail I receive (for instance, here and here), and how its nature has been evolving over time. But it's a subject that never seems to grow old (at least for me) ... I'm always amazed at how my e-mail address keeps getting added to some of the most weirdly inappropriate spam. Here - along with my commentary (in italics) - are a few examples of subject lines culled from my spam e-mail file over the past week (all spelling, capitalization, and punctuation are exactly as in the original):

Each year we encounter situations that simply require money - Other than eating and living indoors?

Get treatment options for overactive bladder - What a piss-poor come-on!

Release of Your Payment($5,000,000.00 - This was from "James F. Entwhistle," which is an odd name for a Nigerian prince.

You too can have sex longer than 5 minutes! Free Sample - If someone wants to send me a free sample of sex, it needs to be longer than that.

Simple Brain Fix - I'm afraid it's too late to help anyone this election season.

Give Hope to Newly Diagnosed Men - Were they diagnosed as women before?

Forget Fish Oil Forever! - I'm glad someone has finally invented a fish that doesn't squeak.

Get your eLoan here! - If I need an e, I'll just buy one from Pat Sajak on Wheel of Fortune.

This African Herb Can Increase Intimacy FAST! - I think that Nigerian prince has finally given up on the funds transfer scams.

Special offer! Over $150 value just $39.95 including 2 free beauty gifts! - Too late; that train sailed long ago.

Need help conquering addiction? - If it works with addiction to Twitter, I'll buy a case for Mr Trump.

Put an End to Premature Ejaculation - Now, let's not be hasty ...

Spam - an unlikely, yet interesting source of opportunities to shake your head in amazement. Do you have a good one from your spam trap? Leave a comment, along with your comments on it.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.




Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed
Poor white trash, kinda crazy in the head
Then one day as he was shootin, at some food
Up from the ground came those cans of blue

Spam that is
Pink and sweet
Mystery Meat

SPAM the other Mystery Meat

Mike said...

If there really was a fix for simple brains, Trump wouldn't have a chance.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

My Nigerian prince has been ignoring me.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

That's the perfect comeback to the overactive bladder product!