Friday, January 01, 2021

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2020

Yes, Friends, it's time for those of us who survived 2020 - a true annus horribilis, in the memorable words of Queen Elizabeth II - to look back on a year unrivaled for over-the-top ass clownery and single out the one towering representative of the species most worthy of our disgust.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, I give you (and you are welcome to him)

The 2020 Ass Clown of the Year

and for the third year in a row, the winner is

Senator Mitch McConnell (R, KY)

Senator McConnell was the runaway winner this year, netting a staggering 2550 votes, more than double the amount earned by Der Furor, who has lost yet another election. Moscow Mitch's victory is even more amazing when we consider that he has won our opprobrium as Ass Clown of the Year for the third straight year.

For the record, here are the final voting results as of our cutoff date, 11:59 PM, December 31st, 2020:

Mitch McConnell – 2550
Der Furor – 1175
“All of the Above” – 770
Lindsey Graham – 725
The GOP – 295
Michael Flynn – 275
Josh Hawley – 200
Louis DeJoy (a late, but eminently deserving addition) – 175
Sidney Powell – 155
Ron DeSantis – 145
Marco Rubio – 145
`Steven Mnuchin – 125
Rudy Giuliani – 125
Ted Cruz – 120
Louie Gohmert – 100
Nancy Pelosi – 10

I'm not sure what to read into the fact that the list only includes a single individual who is not a Republican ... I suppose it's a reflection of the fact that most of my friends and readers are aligned more to the Independent or Democratic side of the political aisle. Representative Pelosi is a favorite punching bag for the right wing, but when her qualifications are compared to such disastrous and proudly hypocritical figures as Der Furor, McConnell, Graham, Cruz, Gohmert, Hawley, DeJoy, DeSantis, and Rubio, obviously traitorous figures like Flynn, and buffoons like Giuliani and Powell, she's practically a saint.

I also need to say a few words about the progress of the voting. In an attempt to keep numbers manageable and prevent single candidates from immediately running away with the balloting, I asked that voters limit their inputs to ten votes per candidate per visit. This rule was routinely violated, beginning with the submission by one voter of an "infinite" number and by another of a "bazillion" votes for McConnell, 500 votes at one time for Graham, and 100 votes at a time for various candidates. Mike also wanted to kick things off by casting 74,000,000 votes for Der Furor and then 74,000,001 for McConnell so that Der Furor would lose yet again. In the end, I threw up my hands and just tried to average out large numbers of votes over the remaining voting days. I suppose it all proved that Der Furor and his ilk have wiped out all need to respect laws, rules, and traditions.

Finally, a general comment about the concept of the Ass Clown Award. I have long been appalled by the lack of civility and common decency in our political and social discourse, and some of you have taken me to task for sponsoring an award that is arguably not in keeping with my desire for more decency and mutual respect. I plead guilty. In my defense, I would argue that those upon whom I bestow these awards have engaged in behavior so egregious that throwing a satirical, if crude highlight upon them serves a public need at a time when too much despicable and disgraceful behavior is simply ignored or, worse, empowered.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Ass Clown of the Year for 2020 - as he was for the previous two years - is Senator Mitch McConnell - a man who exemplifies the "finest" traditions of professional, deeply-held ass clownery and the worst in obeisance to raw political power.

Have a good day and a new year much better than the old one.

More thoughts coming.



Mike said...

In a few days, we'll find out if he's going to win the award again.

allenwoodhaven said...

The people have spoken. I agree that he deserves it more than anyone else. Just heard an expression that fits: he's so low he could walk under a snake and not knock his hat off. It's hard for me to understand him being elected (to the Senate) again and again.

And you have nothing to apologize or explain about these awards. Only the deserving are nominated and selected. If people don't like it, that is their problem. You could, I suppose, start an opposite award but it wouldn't be as much fun.

One last thing: I'm glad that Der Furor lost another election! Perhaps you could do a few recounts so he loses over and over again.

Yvonne said...

I like the idea of recounts so Der Furor loses over and over again. And as one of the rule breakers, I agree you have nothing to apologise for perhaps in more civilized and "normal" times us rule breakers will return to more civilized responses to more typical political shenanigans. But nothing about the last four years have been normal so I stand by my rule breaking in these unusual times! Keep up the good trouble Bill as well as this calling out of all the ass-clownery! ��