The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2021

I know that you're tired of hearing me whine about how difficult it is to single out individual ass clowns for recognition, but I'm afraid I'm going to whine again.

There are so many superbly qualified ass clowns clamoring for attention that I actually considered presenting a one-time blanket award with a blank space in which each of you could fill in your ass clown of choice. But that's an abdication of my responsibility ... I created this award, and (except for the Ass Clown of the Year for whom you vote) I should bite the proverbial bullet and make the tough choice.

And so it is that I have put on my hip waders and my shoulder-length rubber gloves, waded into and reached deep within the churning cesspool of ass clownery to draw forth a new dishonoree. Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers,

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown Award

for

April, 2021

is presented - for the second time* - to

Representative Matt Gaetz

(R, FL-1)

Grandstanding gasbag Matt Gaetz already ranks as one of the least productive, if noisiest, members of Congress. If legislative activity were measured by theatrical stunts** and appearances on Fox News***, Mr Gaetz would be a modern day Franklin Delano Roosevelt; however, such metrics are not appropriate for an odious bomb-thrower whose interest lies less in advocating actual policies than in blocking anything proposed by President Biden while worshiping at the festooned altar of Der Furor.

In addition to his dismal legislative record, Mr Gaetz has now made himself the subject of a Department of Justice investigation into his alleged relationship with a 17-year-old girl - a relationship he denies. The investigation began last summer and is looking into whether Gaetz had a sexual relationship with an underage girl and paid for her to travel with him, and whether he violated federal sex trafficking laws. Beyond this, Mr Gaetz has also become an object of derision and suspicion after leaving a "weird" voice mail message on the phone of a Florida Democratic state representative. 

In an already-undistinguished field of Republican members of Congress marked by such low-wattage luminaries as Marjorie Taylor Greene^† and Lauren Boebert^††, Matt Gaetz goes all-out to represent his constituents not as a principled, effective legislator, but as an oleaginous buffoon who makes a joke of public service.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, Florida Representative Matt Gaetz is designated as the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for April, 2021.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo 

* Mr Gaetz was the Right-Cheek Ass Clown for March, 2020.

** Like leading a crowd to crash a closed congressional hearing or wearing a gas mask on the House floor to protest Covid mitigation efforts.

*** 180 times since being sworn into office in 2017.

 

† Herself the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2021.

†† Stay tuned, she'll surely have her own award before long.