The Gohmert Stupidity Scale, Revised and Updated

You may recall that earlier this week, in response to the rampant ass clownery besetting the nation and the world, I reset the National Stupidity Level from DUMBCON 2 ("Shake Your Head Stupid") to DUMBCON 1 ("More Stupid Than You Can Imagine"). We'd been at DUMBCON 2 since January of 2021, so I figured it was time.

I also decided that it was time to revisit and recalibrate The Gohmert Stupidity Scale - my attempt to measure and document the level of stupidity of specific groups and individuals, rather than of the nation as a whole. Mainly used as an adjunct to my biweekly Ass Clown Awards, it was named for one of the most resolutely stupid members of the US Congress, former Texas Representative Louie Gohmert.

In looking at my original design of the Gohmert Scale, it occurred to me that I had relied too heavily on ignorance as a driving factor of stupidity and had not paid sufficient attention to other contributing factors, in particular greed and malice. Of course, ignorance, greed, and malice are not in short supply in modern America, and the degree to which each contributes to our lamentable level of national stupidity can be argued in many ways. Today's update to the Gohmert Stupidity Scale is my attempt to address all of these contributing factors, as well as including examples of the types of individuals one finds at each level.

But I also recognized that the name of the scale itself needed to be updated. Mr Gohmert's estimable record as one of the stupidest people ever to serve in Congress has been challenged by numerous other, predominately GOP, members of the House and Senate, but by none more loudly and aggressively stupid than Georgia Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, whose demonstrated level of intelligence approximates that of the common anvil. I have decided, therefore, that this and subsequent versions of Gohmert Stupidity Scale will be known as The Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale, and that the abbreviation of the unit of stupidity will change from the "Gohmert" (abbreviated ghm and pronounced "gome") to the "Gag*" (abbreviated gag and pronounced like it sounds), which in any case seems more onomatopoeically accurate. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, here is version 2.0 of the Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale (click to embiggen for easier reading)**:

In case the embiggening function does not allow you to read the chart well enough, here's the text version:

Score in gags: 0-1,000. General Description: Silly, but harmless. Examples/Comments: Me and most people with whom I choose to associate.

Score in gags: 1,001-2,500. General Description: Ignorant. Commits dumb acts out of non-malicious ignorance, and can usually self-correct when stupid action is pointed out. Examples/Comments: Person who drives slower after getting a speeding ticket.

Score in gags: 2,501-10,000. General Description: Really ignorant. Commits dumb acts out of ignorance and refuses to change mind when presented with proof of error. Examples/Comments: Person who argues with a police officer giving them a ticket.

Score in gags: 10,001-25,000. General Description: Extremely ignorant. Commits dumb acts out of ignorance and refuses to change mind when faced with proof of error. Relies on personal beliefs and power of personal position to impose stupidity on others. Examples/Comments: Annoying neighborhood busybodies; homeowners association officers.

Score in gags: 25,001-50,000. General Description: Stupid. Views own opinions and those of persons with similar beliefs as gospel and rejects contrary information. This is the level at which stupidity begins to have harmful consequences beyond the individual. Examples/Comments: Local education reform zealots.

Score in gags: 50,001-100,000. General Description: Really Stupid. Doubles down on stupid actions and beliefs when confronted with evidence; believes persons with contrary positions are obviously wrong and must be opposed at all costs. Examples/Comments: Election deniers.

Score in gags: 100,001-350,000. General Description: Extremely Stupid. Easily swayed by individual or groups that reinforce personal beliefs. Believes individuals or groups holding contrary positions are not only wrong, but deliberately malicious. At this level, malice begins to significantly enhance stupidity. Examples/Comments: Anti-vaccination zealots; political extremists; conspiracy theorists in general.

Score in gags: 350,001-750,000. General Description: Amazingly Stupid. Utterly devoid of self-doubt. Refuses to listen to other points of view and is totally convinced of the infallibility of deeply-held personal, especially religious positions. Potential for danger to self and others. Examples/Comments: Religious fundamentalists. 

Score in gags: 750,001-1,500,000. General Description: Dangerously Stupid. Aggressively rejects any other point of view and refuses to acknowledge any possibility of personal error or responsibility. May be dangerous to self and others when contradicted. At this level, greed begins to significantly enhance stupidity. Examples/Comments: Second Amendment zealots; "militia" members; business executives who exploit workers, ignore safety or environmental regulations, or manipulate laws to enhance profits at the expense of public safety.

Score in gags: 1,500,001-3,000,000. General Description: Normal Extreme Upper Limit of Stupidity. Refuses to accept validity of any contradictory point of view and rejects all contrary information and evidence as "fake news." Completely refuses to accept the validity of any points of view other than their own. Believes aggressive and confrontational response to opposing views, up to and including physical violence, is justified. Clearly dangerous to self and others. Examples/Comments: Die-hard MAGA supporters; most extreme "militia" members; extreme religious believers.

Score in gags: > 3,000,000. General Description: Level of stupidity is no longer measurable by rational standards. Individual should not be allowed to breed. Examples/Comments: Any stupid person whose actions deliberately lead to violence.

And there you have it - the updated Gohmert-Greene Stupidity Scale.

As I noted in Tuesday's update to the DUMBCON, it seems as if the defining characteristic of our time is proudly arrogant stupidity. If we can't fight it, let's at least measure and characterize it. I'm doing my part.

Have a good day, and be sure to come back tomorrow for the first March edition of Great Moments in Editing and Signage ... you know you look forward to it!

Bilbo

* For "Gohmert-and-Greene," of course.

** If the image is unreadable when clicked, I will be glad to provide a .pdf copy ... just ask via comment, e-mail, or Facebook PM (if we are connected there).