Ass Clown Special Award

Today, September 30th, 2025, the Secretary of Defense and the President of the United States delivered back-to-back speeches to a hastily-convened meeting of the nation's generals, admirals, and senior enlisted personnel. These speeches were so awful ... so insulting to active duty military personnel and veterans and so frightening to our fellow Americans and to the rest of the world ... that I am compelled to present this out-of-cycle

Ass Clown Special Award

to

Der Furor*

and

Secretary of Defense

Pete Hegseth**

The stage was set by Mr Hegseth - styling himself the Secretary of War, rather than Defense, when he said,

"From this moment forward, the only mission of the newly restored Department of War is this: warfighting, preparing for war and preparing to win, unrelenting and uncompromising in that pursuit not because we want war, no one here wants war, but it's because we love peace. We love peace for our fellow citizens. They deserve peace, and they rightfully expect us to deliver."

His pious invocation of "peace for our fellow citizens" was undercut by the rambling, brutal, and despicable speech later delivered by Der Furor, who said that, 

"I told Pete we should use some of these dangerous [American] cities as training grounds for our military — National Guard, but military — because we’re going into Chicago very soon."

The President of the United States has just told his Secretary of Defense that the armed forces of the United States should be trained for war by being unleashed on American cities to combat "the enemy within."

Think about that.

A President of the United States who has never served a day in the military is recommending to his Secretary of Defense - who served in the military but never achieved the level of leadership, command, and management of those he now professes to direct - the use of the military against American citizens in American cities.

I read an interesting piece on the Internet a few minutes ago that is worth paraphrasing here. If we assume that the average time in service of a general or flag officer or their senior enlisted advisors is about 25 years, and that roughly 800 such individuals were in attendance at Mr Hegseth's and Der Furor's Brass-o-Rama, it follows that the audience represented twenty thousand years of military experience at every level of command. These professional military officers and their senior enlisted advisors spent a morning being harangued by a President with zero years of military experience and a Defense Secretary with about 15 ... none of them in positions of senior leadership and command.

It's hardly a wonder that such an audience sat stonily while men unfit to carry their luggage lectured them on perceived deficiencies in their leadership skills and military professionalism, and threatened to unleash them on their fellow citizens. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, this Ass Clown Special Award is presented to Der Furor and to Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth ... two men whose towering egotism, arrogance, and incompetence should frighten every American citizen.

Have a good day, and think very clearly about how you vote in the coming elections. Your sitting president wants to unleash the world's deadliest military force against you if you don't bend the knee.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Der Furor has now received 19 Ass Clown Awards: 11 individual, 7 shared, and Ass Clown of the Year for 2015.

** This is Mr Hegseth's second award, having previously been the Right-Cheek Ass Clown in April of 2025.

Who Was That Masked Man?

Those of you old enough to remember the old TV series "The Lone Ranger" may remember the stereotyped ending of many episodes, in which the hero rode off into the sunset while the grateful townsfolk look wonderingly at the silver bullet he left behind and asked, "Who was that masked man?"

There's a tradition in literature of the hero who wears a disguise - usually a mask - to keep their identity secret. The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Lone Ranger, Batman, Zorro, and The Copperhead are just a few of the masked heroes who stepped up to uphold the law and defend the oppressed*.

Times have changed, though.

Nowadays, the masked avenger who once worked to save the oppressed is a federal agent, heavily armed and armored, who refuses to identify himself or his agency or confirm his authority by presenting a warrant while rounding up suspected illegal immigrants in Home Depot and 7-Eleven parking lots and the hallways of federal courts.

There may be good reasons for specific individual police officers to conceal their identity. Service as undercover agents is the reason most often cited, but I hardly think that the relatively few officers serving in valuable undercover roles would be exposed to identification in an effort to round up migrants. Fear of malicious doxing is also given as a reason for masking officers, and it's a concern, but considering that every ordinary police officer wears a badge and identifies themselves to document their identity and authority, I think it's a weak reason.

Masked Singer, yes. Masked law enforcement, no.

Have a good day. Insist that those who exercise power over you identify themselves and document their authority. You don't live in a police state.

Yet.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Okay, The Scarlet Pimpernel rescued French aristocrats from the mob and the guillotine, but just work with me on this.

Poetry Sunday

I have a feeling that this is exactly how it will be ...

The Future 

by Billy Collins 

When I finally arrive there—

And it will take many days and nights—

I would like to believe others will be waiting

and might even want to know how it was.

So I will reminisce about a particular sky

or a woman in a white bathrobe

or the time I visited a narrow strait

where a famous naval battle had taken place.

Then I will spread out on a table

a large map of my world

and explain to the people of the future

in their pale garments what it was like—

how mountains rose between the valleys

and this was called geography,

how boats loaded with cargo plied the rivers

and this was known as commerce,

how the people from this pink area

crossed over into this light-green area

and set fires and killed whoever they found

and this was called history—

and they will listen, mild-eyed and silent,

as more of them arrive to join the circle,

like ripples moving toward,

not away from, a stone tossed into a pond.

Sadly, that's almost exactly what history is, isn't it?

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Can someone just put this month out of its misery, please?

Der Furor delivered a rambling and insulting speech at the UN on Monday, prompting an unnamed senior foreign diplomat to ask, “This man is stark raving mad … do Americans not see how embarrassing this is??;" not surprisingly, the rapture predicted by many now-disappointed religious extremists for Monday or Tuesday failed to occur; in the latest move by Der Furor's administration to sanitize the nation’s history, Defense secretary Pete Hegseth has announced that 20 US soldiers who took part in the 1890 massacre of hundreds of Lakota men, women and children at Wounded Knee will keep the Congressional Medals of Honor awarded to them; the White House has ordered federal agencies to prepare for mass layoffs of "all employees whose work is not funded through means other than annual appropriations and does not align with [Der Furor’s] priorities" in the event of a government shutdown next week; and in California, an attorney has been fined $10,000 for filing an appeal full of fake legal authorities and citations generated by ChatGPT.

This week, because I was too lazy to curate a collection, we'll just do a cartoon potpourri from my as-yet-unsorted file ... 

A pro right to the end!

I know someone else who likes that sort of comedy ...

How the news shows balance viewpoints ...

I'm sure there's already an import model toilet from Japan that works this way ...

And we have a country full of Franks, don't we?

Getting shot in a Western flick, 2025 ...

I think this is probably what's waiting for me ...

Yes. Yes, they are ...

Covering all of Waldo's bases ...

I think the answer is pretty clear, don't you?

And that's it for our final Cartoon Saturday of the month - I hope it helped take your mind off the state of the world for a few minutes.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday returns. See you then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Welcome to the final collection of the month!

I know there's a good story behind this one, but I can't imagine what it is ...

Nowadays there's probably no shortage of applicants ...

Perhaps the name needs changing ...

I'm quite sure it's safe ... isn't it?

Whatever ...

I think I'll give my invitation to someone else ...

Um ... right ...

I never did very well in math, but I think this one is a bit odd ...

A little education can be a dangerous thing ...

I wonder what the giveaway was ...

And we're done with Great Moments in Editing and Signage for the month. I hope you enjoyed this collection.

Have a good day and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Lavatory Oratory, Yet Again

Back in March of this year I wrote a post titled Lavatory Oratory, in which I bemoaned the rambling and nonsensical, yet perversely effective speaking style of the Orange Airhorn. On Tuesday of this week, he gassed onto the world stage with a speech to the UN General Assembly described by historian Heather Cox Richardson as "delusional and offensive," and causing one unnamed foreign diplomat to comment in a text to Washington Post reporter Ishaan Tharoor, “This man is stark raving mad. Do Americans not see how embarrassing this is?"

Some of us do.

I have never been so ashamed to be an American. Not so much because of the ludicrous buffoonery of Der Furor (which is bad enough), but because so many of my fellow Americans - knowing what he is - elected him twice, and are either standing by silently or happily cheering as he runs roughshod over the law, the Constitution, and simple human decency. I'm ashamed because no one in a position of authority and responsibility is standing up and telling this man to his face that he needs to go. As if he hadn't provided enough excuses for the invocation of the 25th Amendment already, his shocking performance in front of the assembled leaders of the world puts the cherry on the miserable sundae of his misrule. 

Cartoon by Patrick Chappette, 2017 - as appropriate as ever.

A great nation once represented by such brilliant and honorable public servants and orators as George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt is now represented by a malevolent, incoherent, gaseous oaf unfit to hold any office of responsibility, much less the presidency.

We deserve better. Hopefully, if we survive to 2028, enough of us will have rediscovered reason and responsibility to elect it.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when we greet the last collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for the month.

Bilbo

Getting Screwed

You probably already suspect that you are being screwed as a result of the tax giveaways for the wealthy in the so-called "Big Beautiful Bill Act," but did you realize that Der Furor's trade policies are also screwing ... screws?

I call your attention to this article from the New York Times: [Der Furor’s] Tariffs Are Damaging America’s Biggest Foreign Source of Screws. It seems that Taiwan, which every year exports to the United States tens of millions of screws in thousands of different types is being hammered by Der Furor's tariffs on steel, aluminum, and finished screws, with orders to a typical factory down nearly 20 percent compared with the same time last year. 

The goal of Der Furor's tariff policy - to the extent that it has a definable one - is to bring in vast amounts of money to fund tax cuts for the rich while permitting American manufacturers to recreate domestic sources of manufactured goods ... like screws. To some extent, as the article points out, that is happening. But American manufacturers in the short term cannot produce the millions of screws in thousands of different types that Taiwan can, at least not until more factories are built and domestic (i.e., tariff-free) sources of steel and aluminum are developed. And, of course, domestically-produced screws will be more expensive because of higher labor costs and the investments to be made in new factories. Trust me, say Der Furor and his economic advisors ... it'll all work out. Short-term pain is worth it when you look at the magnificent manufacturing future shimmering on the horizon.

I have in my garage, as do most average do-it-yourselfers, a vast number of screws in assorted lengths, diameters, styles, and materials, left over from various projects over the years. But Bilbo's First Rule of Do-It-Yourselfing (which has never been wrong yet) says that "Regardless of how many screws and nails you have, you will not have the ones you need for whatever you are doing." This - not overpriced power tools - is what keeps Home Depot, Lowes, and smaller hardware stores in business. And as screw prices keep going up, first because of tariffs and later because they're more expensive to make domestically, you'll keep feeling that big economic screwing get more painful.

Buy your screws now ... it'll minimize the screwing you'll get later.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Free Speech, If You Can Keep It

I shouldn't have to say this, but ...

Because this is where we are today ...

I think we need to remind Der Furor and the members of his wannabe fascist administration about the Constitution they've sworn to preserve, protect, and defend ...

That's all.

Have a good day. Protect your rights while you still have them. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Musical Sunday

The recriminations and the unending blame game over the murder of conservative influencer Charlie Kirk continue to reverberate across the nation in a way that the ongoing murder of children in school shootings doesn't. It's profoundly depressing that the murder of a hateful character like Mr Kirk - while deplorable - gets more attention from Der Furor and his conservative supporters than does the death of innocent children, but that's where we are.

My friend Allen suggested this song by Cheryl Wheeler, "If It Were Up to Me," as a Musical Sunday offering appropriate to the moment ...

I can't argue with that.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. Bulletproof clothing for your children is always a thoughtful birthday or Christmas gift.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Is it too late to cancel my subscription to September?

Der Furor said federal regulators should revoke broadcast licenses when late-night hosts speak negatively about him - a threat wildly at odds with the Constitution, but nevertheless likely to be supported by Republicans irritated by criticism and indifferent to hypocrisy; a Federal judge in Florida has dismissed Der Furor's $15 billion lawsuit against the New York Times, ruling that the lawsuit was overly long and full of “tedious and burdensome” language that had no bearing on the legal case; in response to the latest Russian test of Western resolve, NATO forces intercepted three Russian warplanes that violated Estonian airspace; the House of Representatives passed a stopgap funding bill to prevent a Government shutdown on September 30th, but it failed in the Senate; and a software update to Samsung’s Family Hub refrigerators in the US will permit the company to display “promotions and curated advertisements” on the kitchen appliances. 

This week, in honor of the late Charlie Kirk's opinion that "... it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights. That is a prudent deal. It is rational," a collection of cartoons about America's love affair with deadly weapons.

Let me hear you say, "hallelujah!" ...

When I was in elementary school, we did these drills in case of nuclear war ...

The Grim Reaper keeps up with the times ...

Some things just never will make sense to me ...

This Herblock cartoon dates to 1998 ... things haven't gotten any better ...

I trust him.

Originalism ...

They'll know, but won't care ...

Imagination ...

Probably unnecessary, as we've scared away so many international visitors, anyhow ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. Enjoy those kevlar fashions. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2025

As we move into the second half of September, it's time once again to lift the lid on the swirling cesspool of ass clownery and consider the right choice for our next award. As always, there are huge numbers of individuals and groups who would be worthy nominees, but I think it's time I turned to a winner I've been putting off for a long time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, with the usual flatulent blare of trumpets we announce presentation of the tinfoil and toilet paper crown to

The Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2025

Laura Loomer

Laura Loomer is a far-right conservative political activist, conspiracy theorist, and internet personality who wields outsized influence in Der Furor's administration. Journalist Michael Scherer, in an article about her in The Atlantic titled "Make Joe McCarthy Great Again," wrote,

"In just the first seven months of [Der Furor's] second presidency, she successfully lobbied [Der Furor] to end Secret Service protection for Joe Biden’s children. She has pushed the president to fire six members of his National Security Council, remove three leaders at the National Security Agency, end an academic appointment at West Point, fire the director of the National Vetting Center at the Department of Homeland Security, dispatch an assistant U.S. attorney in California, and remove a federal prosecutor in Manhattan. After [Der Furor's] intel chief stripped 37 current and former national-security officials of their security clearance Wednesday, she claimed credit for first labeling 29 of them as threats to [Der Furor]."

Not bad for a person with no official government position or authority.

Ms Loomer is famous for pulling outrageous public stunts, such as getting herself arrested after storming the stage at New York City’s Shakespeare in the Park to protest a version of Julius Caesar inspired by Der Furor, and being kicked off Uber and Lyft for saying that she did not want Muslim drivers. She's also gotten herself banned from Facebook and Instagram for hate-speech violations (although she is still on Twitter - now "X" - where her views appear to be considered more "mainstream"). 

Her antics, threats, online posts, and direct channel to Der Furor have destroyed careers, shaped news cycles, and caused movement in financial markets, and she has openly boasted on X that “It’s amazing how fast we can get results from the [Der Furor] administration.”

In the wake of the murder of far-right activist Charlie Kirk, she repeatedly called for the federal government to suppress the free speech of anyone guilty of criticizing Der Furor or demonizing Mr Kirk - a blatant violation of the Constitution, and one which has also been called for by Der Furor himself.

The law, the Constitution, and our freedoms are under assault as never before, with a junior demagogue cheering it on.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the Left-Cheek Ass Clown for September, 2025, is Laura Loomer. As if the country didn't have enough problems.

Have a good day, and come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. You know you need it.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

News in the Age of MAGA

Many of you who read this blog regularly will remember the name Walter Cronkite. He was the anchor for the CBS Evening News from 1962 to 1981, and was known through that time as "The Most Trusted Man in America." His honors included two Peabody Awards*, a George Polk Award**, an Emmy Award, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom***. 

I can remember the deep, calm voice of Walter Cronkite announcing the news of the day with clarity and gravitas, ending his broadcasts with his signature sign-off, "And that's the way it is for (date)." His was the voice that reported on many of the biggest events of the 20th century: Watergate; the Iran Hostage Crisis; the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy and civil rights pioneer Martin Luther King Jr.; and the American space program, from Project Mercury to the Moon landings to the Space Shuttle. 

Contrast Walter Cronkite's news with today's news, which is a national embarrassment.

A fractured media landscape allows us to pick only the "news" outlets that report what we want to hear, and some major outlets - like Fox "News," Newsmax, and OANN - are aggressively and proudly partisan, stoking outrage while ignoring facts that contradict their narrative. "Reporters" fail to push back against obviously untrue statements, fail to demand proof of the most outrageous allegations, and allow their interviewees to present utter balderdash without effective questioning.

As one example, on a CNN program yesterday, conservative commentator Scott Jennings thundered in outrage at great length on what he saw as the violent "liberal" language and aims of the Charlie Kirk murderer, while refusing to acknowledge similar violent language common to right-wing advocates (and, indeed, Der Furor) ... and the moderator did not force the issue, instead only limply acknowledging the "anger" of the right.

The First Amendment to the Constitution forbids the government from "... abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press ...," and yet mainstream news organizations have largely failed to push back against threats coming from Der Furor and his wholly-coopted Department of Justice to do just that. The so-called defenders of freedom of speech and the press have backed down in the face of threats from Der Furor, instead of holding the line of press freedom and an informed public.

Our treasured freedoms are under attack as never before. A GOP-dominated Congress goes along, as does a cabinet and Supreme Court stacked with Der Furor's incompetent and kowtowing appointees. In the words of the old Joni Mitchell song, "... you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." 

And, at the rate we're going, it'll be gone all too soon.

Have a good day. Speak up for your freedoms, even if those we depend upon won't. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Which honor "the most powerful, enlightening, and invigorating stories in all of television, radio, and online media."

** Which honors "the intrepid, bold, and influential work of the reporters themselves, placing a premium on investigative work that is original, resourceful, and thought-provoking."

*** Which honors individuals for "... a lifetime of significant achievements in the arts, public service, science, or other fields." It has been somewhat cheapened during Der Furor's administrations by being presented as a reward to such outspoken and divisive conservative political figures as Rush Limbaugh, Rudy Giuliani, and Charlie Kirk.

Advertising Drugs on Television

There are almost no issues on which I agree with Der Furor and his shambolic administration*, but limiting drug advertisements on television is one of them.

It takes a doctor years of training and experience to understand the human body and how specific drugs treat specific conditions and interact with each other. The knowledge your doctor accumulates through years of study and experience is not the same as a 60-second television spot which - accompanied by music and lighthearted choreography - tells you that a particular drug "may be right for you," along with a litany of unpleasant side effects and unhelpful directions like "Don't take Dumbasserin if you are allergic to it or its contents**." And on top of that, there are television and radio ads urging you to ask for drugs to address illnesses and conditions you never knew existed*** - greatly appealing to the hypochondriacs among us. 

The only ... only purpose for drug advertising is to make you fear that you have a particular illness or condition and manipulate you into asking your doctor to prescribe a new drug for it, thereby increasing sales for the manufacturer. If your doctor is current on medical issues (and most are), he or she already knows about the drug and whether they should be treating you with it. If you doubt me, read this OpEd from the Director of the Food and Drug Administration, Dr Marty Makary.

Perhaps rather than spending vast amounts of money on advertising, drug companies ought to use that money to subsidize the cost of their products for the people who need them.

Have a good day. Ask your Member of Congress if limiting drug advertising is right for you.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

P.S. I just thought I'd mention that this is post number 5555! Yowza!

B.

* There are two that I can think of: the other is the need to get a handle on illegal immigration, although I am horrified and disgusted by his approach.

** And oh, by the way, how would you know if you are allergic to it or its contents? Probably only if your doctor, who knew your medical history, was able to tell you. 

*** Really, did you ever hear of Dupuytren's Contracture before there was a drug advertised to cure it?

Poetry Sunday

I think I may be a representative of one of the last generations that used "outdoor plumbing" - the traditional outhouse. No, I didn't grow up having to use one, but there were many times when I did - but those are tales for another day. 

Today's poem by Marie Harris brings back memories of using primitive facilities on a cold morning in Colorado, looking up at a sea of stars to take my mind of more pressing business ...

Standard Plumbing 

by Marie Harris 

Plumbing supply places, like auto parts stores, have long

counters with bar stools for the customers. When I came in, the

man behind the counter was telling a story about the time he

and his friends had decided to celebrate getting home from

Vietnam and had bought a lot of Scotch and given one bottle to

a wino who drank half of it all at once and dropped dead.

Then the man, with Walter stitched on his shirt, asked what he

could do for me and I told him I had come to buy a toilet, the

cheapest, most basic toilet they had. He wanted to know if I

was putting it in one of my apartments or something and I said

no, it was for my own house and I was, oddly enough, buying

a toilet for the first time because we were installing indoor

plumbing. The other houses I’d lived in had always come with

toilets and I’d never given much thought to choosing one,

though today I’d kind of decided I wanted bone, not white. So,

in the process of getting the bowl and the tank and the seat and

some pipes and gaskets from the warehouse, we got to talking

about our outhouses and he allowed as how the one he had in

Florida when he was kid in the fifties hadn’t been all that

bad, except for the bugs and sometimes a snake, and we both

agreed that there are times out there when you see things from

an unusual vantage, for instance: that view of the night sky in

winter is unparalleled.

I remember a night in the remote mountains of Colorado when I trudged to an outhouse in the middle of the night, marveling at a night sky so glorious with stars that having to use an unheated outhouse on a cold night didn't seem so bad.

Have a good day, enjoy the rest of your weekend, and be thankful that you can enjoy the luxury of indoor plumbing. 

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

Okay, I think we've Septembered enough ... can we just move on?

NATO scrambled fighter jets earlier this week in reaction to Russian attack drones that violated Polish airspace; right-wing influencer Charlie Kirk, a vocal supporter of gun rights, was murdered during an appearance at a rally in Utah; Israel attacked the headquarters of Hamas in Qatar, an important American ally in the Middle East, in an attempt to kill the groups leaders ... Israeli president Isaac Herzog excused the attack by saying the attack was necessary to "remove some of the people if they are not willing to get a deal," leading Der Furor to ask Defense War Secretary Pete Hegseth if this approach could be used on Congressional Democrats; and in Arizona, a man with a history of filing fake documents was released from prison 20 years early after forging an order showing that a judge had approved his release.

This week, since Mike gets so many positive comments on his "Thursday Trees" posts, I thought I might bask in his reflected glory with a collection of cartoons about - trees!

I've heard that Gloria Gaynor loves trees ...

Nope, not a typo ...

When maple trees donate, nobody asks their sap type ... 

Rodger's wife is in for a surprise ...

Tree puns, anyone? 

If squirrels tickle, woodpeckers must be the acupuncturists of the arboreal world ...

How we view trees ...

No comment necessary ...

Looking at the bright side ...

Visiting the old homestead ...

I think that's enough ... I should quit while I'm ahead and not make an ash of myself. Maple I'll try this theme again later, if that's oak-ay with you. In the meantime, I'll leave Mike at the elm of the ship of trees.

Have a good day and a great weekend and come back tomorrow, when Poetry Sunday celebrates outdoor plumbing. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo