The On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2026

As long-time readers of this blog know, I generally present my Ass Clown awards twice each month, based on the fact that most months have four Fridays available, the other two of which are dedicated to Great Moments in Editing and Signage. Twice a year, though, the calendar yields a month with five Fridays, and depending on how they fall they can allow a third Ass Clown award. 

Such is this month; the other will come in October. 

And so it is, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, that I am able to designate

The On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2026

and the award goes to

The White House Cage Fight

Yes, friends, nothing says "happy birthday" to the United States of America and celebrates her values quite like a grotesque display of violence on the South Lawn of the White House - the same place that hosts children for the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. The event, officially named "UFC Freedom 250," will be held on June 14th of this year - Flag Day and (by the sheerest of coincidences) the 80th birthday of Der Furor.

You might have thought that the 250th anniversary year of the signing of the Declaration of Independence would be an opportunity for Americans to reflect on our history - a time to think about where we started, how we've developed as a nation, where we are today, and where we want to go in the next 250 years. Unfortunately, that's not the style of our current "leadership." 

Instead of a thoughtful assessment of the lessons of history and their meaning for our future, a celebration of our accomplishments and a reckoning with our shortcomings, we will be treated to the spectacle of 14 men beating each other's brains out in front of a cheering mob of Der Furor's invited guests. Instead of the quiet, subdued dignity of the historic White House (minus, of course, the late East Wing), we'll have a garish, brightly-lit cage in which the violence so honored and espoused by Der Furor and his angry MAGA followers is offered as a symbol of our wildly distorted national values. 

Along with Der Furor's grotesquely inappropriate "Monumental Arch" and his expensive and unnecessary White House Ballroom/Drone-Proof Bunker, the UFC cage takes its place as a symbol of our diminishing stature as a nation and a people. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, it gives me no pleasure to designate The White House Cage Fight as our On-Crack Ass Clown for May, 2026. It's a sad symbol of what our Founders' dream has become under a corrupt regime that has nothing but contempt for our traditional values.

Have a good day. Demand better when you cast your votes in the midterms and in the 2028 presidential election.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo