Monday, February 12, 2018

The Political Compass


I found an interesting political self-analysis test online the other day on a website called The Political Compass, and - having nothing better to do at the moment - I took it. It's pretty comprehensive, and although I think a number of the questions would benefit from some additional nuance, it seemed to provide an analysis that I think is fairly accurate. Here's the certificate I received after taking the test, placing me in the "Left Libertarian" quadrant of their compass ...


Interested in trying it out for yourself? Here's the link.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Poetry Sunday


During these cold, rainy, miserable days of winter, I've been working on my long-term project of documenting our family history. As befits a family of immigrants with roots in many lands, there are lots of great stories to be learned and written down and passed on ... and there are also the things our parents told us that may or may not have been quite true ...

Lies My Mother Told Me 
by Elizabeth Thomas 

If you keep eating raw spaghetti
         you’ll get pinworms,
         then I’ll have to make
         a necklace of garlic for you to wear
         each night while you sleep,
         until they go away.
If you’re mean to your younger brother, I’ll know
         because I have a special eye
         that spies on you when I’m not home.
         You cannot hide from it,
         so don’t try.
If you touch your “down there”
         any time other than when using the toilet,
         your hand will turn green and fall off.
If you keep crossing your eyes
         they will stay that way
         until the wind
         changes direction.
It is bad luck to kill a moth. Moths are
         the souls of our ancestors and it just
         might be Papa paying a visit.
If you kiss a boy on the mouth
         your lips will stick together
         and he’ll use the opportunity
         to suck out your brains.
If you ever lie to me
         God will know and
         rat you out.
         And sometimes
         God exaggerates.
         Trust me -
         you don’t want that
         to happen.

All our parents told us lies, but only in the interest of helping to raise us to be good and responsible people. Of course, other people tell us lies as well ... and some of them get elected.

Have a good day, and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, when we trudge forward into the new week.

Bilbo

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Cartoon Saturday


If you thought February would be an improvement on January news-wise, well, think again ...

Donald Trump has directed the Department of Defense to begin planning for a huge military parade similar to last year's Bastille Day parade he witnessed in Paris; the stock market "corrected" itself, losing the equivalent of all the gains claimed by Donald Trump and the GOP as proof of the greatness of their economic policies; a drug-addicted woman allowed herself to be sterilized after a US District Court judge suggested she do so; a senior White House official resigned after two of his ex-wives accused him of spousal abuse, with one of them publishing photographs of herself with a black eye; and Congress finally passed a budget bill after a brief shutdown of the Federal government on Thursday night.

What do you do when the news is bad? You eat. How about some cartoons about food and cooking for this week, eh?

Not a problem I have at home, happily ...


"Hell's Kitchen," for real ...


When you get your ice from Ikea ...


I love Brussels sprouts ... file the lawsuit over beets, or liver, or tripe ...


No, "Miracle Whip" is not what a televangelist uses to stir up his audience ...


Actually, the term is not "box wine," it's "cardboardeaux" ...


Works for me ...


Paleo, shmaleo ...


I should have seen this one coming ...


Now, that's a hot sauce ...


And that's it for this week's Cartoon Saturday ... because nowadays we all need something to laugh at that hasn't been elected.

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow, on Poetry Sunday.

Bilbo

Friday, February 09, 2018

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Here we go again ...

Well, at least they cleared the air ...


Now that's a great option ...


Sorry about that, chief ...


It's totally awful, but funny as hell ...


Um ... I'll take the five ...


The best summary headline ever ...


Maybe it's just me, but I don't think I'd have celebrated quite that way ...


I knew there were a lot of unappealing politicians out there, but this is ridiculous ...


I like to think my family isn't quite that judgmental ...


Sometimes there's a real problem with the juxtaposition of advertisements ...


And there you go - another collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage. I hope you enjoyed it.

And I hope you'll enjoy tomorrow's collection of cartoons when Cartoon Saturday returns. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Thursday, February 08, 2018

What Does It Mean to Be "Liberal?"


This is a difficult time in our national history to be considered a liberal (or the more current term, progressive*), whatever those political labels have come to mean. To me, liberal more or less equates to the (albeit wishy-washy) old George W. Bush label of compassionate conservative (which appears to be an extinct species in any case).

I consider myself a relatively conservative person, in the sense of one who believes in fiscal responsibility, a live-and-let-live approach to my fellow citizens, the smallest and least intrusive government that does what we've elected it to do, and personal freedom coupled with acceptance of responsibility to the larger community. But the more I see what the term conservative has come to represent, I find myself recoiling and leaning more toward a a more centrist, or even just-left-of-center, political approach.

But what is a liberal, really?

I found this interesting open letter quoted on Miss Cellania's website. It's very long, and I'm not sure of its original provenance, but I'm reprinting most of it verbatim with my comments added in bold italics; (if you want to read whole thing, with the introduction and the conclusion I edited out, you can see it at the link above) because I think it's cogent, well-written, and important. If you're a conservative or a libertarian who always uses a tone of voice dripping with scorn when you drawl out the word liberal, you may want to read it in its entirety and think about what a true liberal actually believes in. Here we go ...

QUOTE

... quite frankly, I'm getting a little tired of being told what I believe and what I stand for. Spoiler alert: Not every liberal is the same, though the majority of liberals I know think along roughly these same lines.

1. I believe a country should take care of its weakest members. A country cannot call itself civilized when its children, disabled, sick, and elderly are neglected. Period. I agree.

2. I believe healthcare is a right, not a privilege. Somehow that's interpreted as "I believe Obamacare is the end-all, be-all." This is not the case. I'm fully aware that the ACA has problems, that a national healthcare system would require everyone to chip in, and that it's impossible to create one that is devoid of flaws, but I have yet to hear an argument against it that makes "let people die because they can't afford healthcare" a better alternative. I believe healthcare should be far cheaper than it is, and that everyone should have access to it. And no, I'm not opposed to paying higher taxes in the name of making that happen. I absolutely agree. I've written 29 posts (yes, I keep track) on the topic of health care, almost all of which have received some level of derision from my more conservative readers.

3. I believe education should be affordable and accessible to everyone. It doesn't necessarily have to be free (though it works in other countries so I'm mystified as to why it can't work in the US), but at the end of the day, there is no excuse for students graduating college saddled with five- or six-figure debt. I agree completely. To the extent that we embrace an education system driven by profit rather than academic excellence, and accept mediocre performance from students, we will continue to see the present sort of national behavior.

4. I don't believe your money should be taken from you and given to people who don't want to work. I have literally never encountered anyone who believes this. Ever. Have you, conservatives and libertarians, ever - even once - heard anyone advocate taking your money and giving it freely to someone else? I thought not. I just have a massive moral problem with a society where a handful of people can possess the majority of the wealth while there are people literally starving to death, freezing to death, or dying because they can't afford to go to the doctor. Fair wages, lower housing costs, universal healthcare, affordable education, and the wealthy actually paying their share would go a long way toward alleviating this. Somehow believing that makes me a communist. Or a lousy  bleeding-heart liberal.

5. I don't throw around "I'm willing to pay higher taxes" lightly. I'm self-employed, so I already pay a shitload of taxes. If I'm suggesting something that involves paying more, that means increasing my already eye-watering tax bill. I'm fine with paying my share as long as it's actually going to something besides lining corporate pockets or bombing other countries while Americans die without healthcare. I agree. I'm retired, rather than self-employed, and I've paid my fair share of taxes over the years ... unlike many who have the money and legal wherewithal to skillfully manipulate or evade the tax code. I've written about this nine times before.

6. I believe companies should be required to pay their employees a decent, livable wage. Somehow this is always interpreted as me wanting burger flippers to be able to afford a penthouse apartment and a Mercedes. What it actually means is that no one should have to work three full-time jobs just to keep their head above water. Restaurant servers should not have to rely on tips, multibillion dollar companies should not have employees on food stamps, workers shouldn't have to work themselves into the ground just to barely make ends meet, and minimum wage should be enough for someone to work 40 hours and live. I agree completely. 

7. I am not anti-Christian. I have no desire to stop Christians from being Christians, to close churches, to ban the Bible, to forbid prayer in school, etc. (BTW, prayer in school is NOT illegal; *compulsory* prayer in school is - and should be - illegal) All I ask is that Christians recognize *my* right to live according to *my* beliefs. When I get pissed off that a politician is trying to legislate Scripture into law, I'm not "offended by Christianity" -- I'm offended that you're trying to force me to live by your religion's rules. You know how you get really upset at the thought of Muslims imposing Sharia on you? That's how I feel about Christians trying to impose biblical law on me. Be a Christian. Do your thing. Just don't force it on me or mine. This is absolutely on target. There's a good reason the Founders wanted the forces of religion and the state to be separated ... if it's a theocracy you want, where everyone is required to accept and honor your beliefs, you may be happier in a garden spot like Saudi Arabia, Iran, or Pakistan.

8. I don't believe LGBT people should have more rights than you. I just believe we should have the *same* rights as you. I'm as straight as they come, and don't understand the biology or allure of an gay, lesbian, or bisexual orientation, but as long as you accept that I can be straight, I can accept that you can be lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, or whatever.

9. I don't believe illegal immigrants should come to America and have the world at their feet, especially since THIS ISN'T WHAT THEY DO (spoiler: undocumented immigrants are ineligible for all those programs they're supposed to be abusing, and if they're "stealing" your job it's because your employer is hiring illegally). I'm not opposed to deporting people who are here illegally, but I believe there are far more humane ways to handle undocumented immigration than our current practices (i.e., detaining children, splitting up families, ending DACA, etc). I agree, and I strongly believe in legal immigration. I'm the descendent of immigrants (as are almost all of you who read this), and I believe that our immigration system is in desperate need of rational revision. Unlike most of the people who loudly howl about the problem, I have actually proposed a viable plan for addressing it (you can read the most recent version here) ... what's your plan, other than build-a-wall-throw-everyone-out-no-amnesty-nohow?

10. I believe we should take in refugees, or at the very least not turn them away without due consideration. Turning thousands of people away because a terrorist might slip through is inhumane, especially when we consider what has happened historically to refugees who were turned away (see: The Voyage of the St. Louis). If we're so opposed to taking in refugees, maybe we should consider not causing them to become refugees in the first place. Because we're fooling ourselves if we think that somewhere in the chain of events leading to these people becoming refugees, there isn't a line describing something the US did. I generally agree, although we need to be realistic and we need to be clear about what "due consideration" means in a bureaucratic and humanitarian sense. The last sentence isn't always the case, but in the case of, say, Syria and Afghanistan, it's pretty undeniable.

11. I don't believe the government should regulate everything, but since greed is such a driving force in our country, we NEED regulations to prevent cut corners, environmental destruction, tainted food/water, unsafe materials in consumable goods or medical equipment, etc. It's not that I want the government's hands in everything -- I just don't trust people trying to make money to ensure that their products/practices/etc are actually SAFE. Is the government devoid of shadiness? Of course not. But with those regulations in place, consumers have recourse if they're harmed and companies are liable for medical bills, environmental cleanup, etc. Just kind of seems like common sense when the alternative to government regulation is letting companies bring their bottom line into the equation. The upside of living in a capitalist, free-market society is that it provides lots of opportunities for both personal enrichment/advancement and vicious exploitation of those lower down the economic ladder. In an unregulated system driven by profit motives, there's no profit in spending extra money ensuring products are safe and the environment is protected for the long term. Conservative and libertarian economists claim that "the free market" will force out those actors that don't worry about safety and purity, but I think the historical record is pretty clear that that's not the case. Should the government regulate every aspect of life and business? No. Should it intervene when needed to "promote the general welfare?" Yes. 

12. I believe our current administration is fascist. Not because I dislike them or because I'm butthurt over an election, but because I've spent too many years reading and learning about the Third Reich to miss the similarities. Not because any administration I dislike must be Nazis, but because things are actually mirroring authoritarian and fascist regimes of the past. I tend to agree. If you can't see this happening in the undermining of our justice system and the demeaning and undermining of free press and free speech to protect a flawed and incompetent president, you have got some major blinders on. No, the administration isn't full of Nazis, but the historical parallels can't be ignored.

13. I believe the systemic racism and misogyny in our society is much worse than many people think, and desperately needs to be addressed. Which means those with privilege -- white, straight, male, economic, etc -- need to start listening, even if you don't like what you're hearing, so we can start dismantling everything that's causing people to be marginalized. I'm of two minds on this one. While racism is a real problem we need to face and address, I tend to object to the immediate assumption that everything negative is a result of racist attitudes. Over the years I've worked with and for people of every combination of sex, race, and religion, and found that all of those are poor indicators of a person's worth. I've met really great people and really awful people of all races, sexes, and beliefs ... sometimes, an individual is just a jerk. 'Nuf said.

14. I believe in so-called political correctness. Not because everyone is a delicate snowflake, but because as Maya Angelou put it, when we know better, we do better. When someone tells you that a term or phrase is more accurate/less hurtful than the one you're using, you now know better. So why not do better? How does it hurt you to NOT hurt another person? Your refusal to adjust your vocabulary in the name of not being an asshole kind of makes YOU the snowflake. My mother used to tell us that it doesn't cost anything extra to be polite and to show concern for others.  

15. I believe in funding sustainable energy, including offering education to people currently working in coal or oil so they can change jobs. There are too many sustainable options available for us to continue with coal and oil. Sorry, billionaires. Maybe try investing in something else. The rest of the world is going all-in for renewable energy. We're the ones being stupid.

I think that about covers it. Bottom line is that I'm a liberal because I think we should take care of each other. That doesn't mean you should work 80 hours a week so your lazy neighbor can get all your money. It just means I don't believe there is any scenario in which preventable suffering is an acceptable outcome as long as money is saved.

END QUOTE

So, there it is. I understand that there have been similar overwrought comments made against conservatives and libertarians, but I have to admit that many of those on the right ... and not necessarily on the far right ... scare me. It's time for everyone to do a little soul searching and recognize that not everyone of a particular political persuasion is a foul, America-hating, troop non-supporting bastard.

But that's just my opinion, and what do I know?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* So what's the difference between a liberal and a progressive? Here's one attempt to distinguish one from the other.

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

I Love a Parade. Well, Not This One.


It's tough when reality intrudes as you come back from a nice vacation ...  I call your attention to this amazing article from this morning's Washington Post - Trump’s ‘Marching Orders’ to the Pentagon: Plan a Grand Military Parade.

It appears that Donald Trump was greatly impressed with the pomp and grandeur of the French Army's Bastille Day military parade he witnessed during last year's visit to Europe, and wants to stage a similar ... but, of course, much yuger ... parade down Pennsylvania Avenue here at home, ostensibly as a “celebration of the men and women who give us freedom.”

Well, let me be clear on this. As you know, and unlike Cadet Bone Spurs and many other loud Congressional supporters of the military in which they never found it convenient to serve, I actually did serve a 23-year career in the armed forces. I honor and respect my fellow veterans (including my two brothers) and those who serve today (including my son, who is an oft-deployed Air Force Reservist). And I would suggest that the money spent on an exciting but ultimately useless spectacle would be much better spent on military equipment, training, and the long-term care of those who have been gravely injured while performing the service so many of their elected reprehensives have declined to perform. Oh, and if you've had the matchless joy of driving on the streets of Washington, DC, just imagine how much that experience will be enhanced after hundreds of huge, heavy military vehicles finish chewing up the pavement.

During my time in the Air Force, I marched in quite a few military parades. It can be an exciting experience, but for the most part that experience can be summed up in a sarcastic comment I heard many years ago: I was one of a squadron of Wing officers standing in the broiling sun on the flight line at Barksdale AFB, Louisiana, rehearsing for the grand parade that would celebrate the redesignation of Second Air Force ("Second to None") as Eighth Air Force ("The Mighty Eighth"). As we stood there for several hours, trying not to lock our knees and pass out in the heat, a crusty old Lieutenant Colonel standing behind me in the formation muttered under his breath, "The only difference between this parade and a Shriners' parade is that in the Shriners' parade, the clowns are smiling."

I'm sure Mr Trump will get his parade. It will be as huge, expensive, and - ultimately - useless as the border wall he also wants. And you know who's going to pay for it.



There are a lot of better ways to spend a few million dollars.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Tuesday, February 06, 2018

Pirates Retirees of the Caribbean, Part 2 - The Eastern Caribbean


Yesterday we viewed the travelogue for the first half of our cruise vacation last month, featuring on our visit to various locations in the Western Caribbean. Today we look at our visits to several locations in the Eastern Caribbean ...

Since we were doing two one-week cruises back-to-back, we had a day to spend in Ft Lauderdale while the Regal Princess disembarked some passengers, boarded others, and restocked all its onboard bars and restaurants. We decided to spend the day on an excursion that combined visits to the Everglades and to a beautiful botanical garden (we love gardens).

We started with an airboat ride through a small corner of the Everglades, Florida's "River of Grass." Our tour guide was a fellow named Tom, who was an amazing fountain of interesting and entertaining knowledge about Florida in general and the Everglades in particular; at the end of the day, we knew all about the geography, geology, hydrology, and twisted history of the Everglades - his descriptions of the political and economic decisions that have caused grave damage to the ecology, and the expensive attempts to recreate the original natural flow of water and control invasive plants were a cautionary tale about what happens when greed and business interests overpower the natural order of things.

If you've never experienced an airboat ride, imagine this: you are sitting in an open-sided, flat bottomed boat, propelled by two giant fans driven by two huge (and very loud) engines ...


For the most part, we cruised sedately (if noisily) across the surface of the water, over patches of grasses and other water plants, watching for the lurking denizens of the Everglades, such as this alligator, who laid there and totally ignored us as we went by. A grouchy woman on the boat was convinced that it was a plastic alligator, placed there so that we'd be able to say we'd seen one. I noticed, though, that she wasn't convinced enough of that to try to reach out and pet him.


And there's a good-sized iguana sunning himself in this tree ... click the picture to embiggen it and see him ...


Twice, when there were long, open stretches of water, the driver of the boat put the pedal to the metal and we roared along at high speed ... an exhilarating, if extraordinarily loud, experience.  


After the airboat ride, we watched a presentation at an alligator rescue facility, where the American equivalent of Steve Irwin delivered an informative and often funny lecture on alligators, assisted by two of his rescued gators, "Godzilla" and "Target," who moved lazily around just enough to possibly convince the grouchy lady from the boat that they were real ...


From there, it was back onto the bus and off to the Flamingo Gardens wildlife preserve and botanical gardens ...


Flamingo Gardens got its name - oddly enough - from the presence of large numbers of flamingos, which are far more interesting in person than as tacky lawn ornaments. Here, Agnes makes the acquaintance of one of the bubblegum-pink birds, whose garish pink color (we were informed) comes from the chemicals in the shrimp and other marsh things they eat ...


We took a tram ride through the park, which offered us a chance to see the efforts being made to recover from last summer's hurricanes. A great many trees had been blown down, and whenever possible they had been straightened up, replanted, and propped up to try to save them ...


As it happened, our visit coincided with the annual Flamingo Festival, which featured a contest for ladies wearing garish homemade flamingo-themed hats, as well as all sorts of flamingo-inspired art ...


Flamingo'd out, we headed back to the ship to settle in for the second week of the cruise. Our first stop was, once again, Princess Cays, about which I will say no more ... if you're interested, go back and read yesterday's description of that visit, because it was pretty much the same.

After departing Princess Cays and enjoying another relaxing day at sea, we arrived at St Thomas in the US Virgin Islands. We'd visited there before, loved it, and had been looking forward to our return visit with great anticipation. Sadly, though, much of what we'd hoped to do was no longer possible because of the lingering damage from last year's hurricane. From the balcony of our room on the ship, everything looked relatively normal, if not downright beautiful ...


But when we walked into town, the unrepaired damaged became more obvious, as in this fence at the edge of the port area that was mangled, twisted, and propped up with two-by-fours ...


We caught a bus tour up to the summit of the highest point on the island, and along the way we saw many ugly scenes of unrepaired damage. The driver told us that red roofs were an old island tradition, but that the "new" island tradition was blue roofs - the blue coming not from colorful shingles and tiles but from the plastic sheeting still covering missing or damaged roofs ... in this picture, you can see the ratio of blue roofs to any other color ...


As far as recovery from the hurricane goes, here are two data points from our bus driver: hurricane Irma struck in early September, and he regained power in his apartment on November 4th; and the three major resort hotels on the island are not expected to be able to reopen until sometime in 2020. The economy, which is driven almost 100% by tourism, is taking a huge hit.

On reaching the highest point on the island, we were able to see beautiful vistas once again - this picture looks out over Magens Bay, rated as being one of the world's most beautiful beaches ...


At the summit, we enjoyed banana daiquiris advertised as being "world famous." World famous or not, they were very potent ...


We returned to the ship soon after that, and relaxed in the hopes that the island's recovery will continue speedily and that our next visit will be to the beautiful place we remember. And then we sailed off into the sunset, headed for our final stop at St Maarten ...


We arrived in the harbor at St Maarten early on the morning of Thursday, January 25th. From our balcony, I had the first view of some of the residual damage from hurricane Irma ... I'm not sure how well you can see it in this picture, but there's a huge area behind the building that's piled high with crushed and battered cargo containers and other wreckage awaiting salvage ...


We'd planned to visit the island's famous zoo, but tours there were cancelled because of damage, escaped animals, and looting sustained during Irma's pounding of the island. Instead, Agnes, Bernadette, and I decided to just walk off the ship and take the water taxi ($7 for an all-day ticket, not a bad deal!) into Philipsburg to wander around for the day. Of course, the touristy happy-snaps had to come first ...


We saw the first of the storm damage from the water taxi at a distance as we cruised across the harbor, and found ourselves up close and personal almost as soon as we got off the taxi at its second stop ...


We wandered around the city on foot, trying to get away from the tourist areas near the harbor. As you might expect, the areas closer to the harbor and the major tourist spots (shops and restaurants) were in generally better repair, while a few blocks further into town, the damage was more visible, with lots of the blue tarps we'd seen in St Thomas, as well as large chunks still carved out of buildings, streets, and sidewalks. 


In spite of the damage, we enjoyed our brief (second) visit to St Maarten and look forward to going back again. After all, where else can you see glorious sunsets like this one? ...


One last thing to mention about our cruise: we've grown used to fine food and excellent service on the Princess ships, but the real stars of all this are the many exceptional crew members who always seem to remain cheerful and happy no matter how busy they are. One evening at dinner, one of our waiters was a young Filipina named Alpha (at least, according to her name tag) who laughed, sang, and joked throughout the entire evening. Agnes and I were too full to want dessert after dinner, and when Alpha returned to serve the desserts everyone else at the table had ordered, she put this plate in front of us - 


In case you can't read it (the strawberry syrup had started to run a bit), she'd written, "We are sweet enough :)."

Awwwwww ...

Oh, and one really last thing to mention ... when we arrived back at Ft Lauderdale on Sunday, I got a text message from our daughter asking us to text her when we left Dulles Airport in DC, headed for home - because she planned to meet us at the house with a nice meat loaf and mashed potatoes dinner!

And if there's a better way to come home at the end of a wonderful vacation, I don't know what it is!

So, that's the story of our cruise. We had a great time, with only minor glitches for weather and modifications because of last year's hurricanes. It was wonderful to see St Thomas and St Maarten again, and we're looking forward to going back again at the earliest opportunity.

But until then, I'm done.

Have a good day. More thoughts, on a more serious topic, tomorrow.

Bilbo

Monday, February 05, 2018

Pirates Retirees of the Caribbean, Part 1 - The Western Caribbean


From January 14th through 28th, Agnes and I enjoyed a two-week cruise in the Caribbean on board the good ship Regal Princess. Actually, we enjoyed two one-week cruises back-to-back - the first one to the Western Caribbean (with stops at Princess Cays, Ocho Rios (Jamaica), Grand Cayman (almost ... more about that later), and Cozumel (Mexico); the second one to the Eastern Caribbean, with stops at Princess Cays (again), St Thomas, and St Maarten. We were accompanied by Agnes's cousin Bernadette and her husband Richard, who came from Germany to do the cruise with us.

We had some concerns about whether or not the cruise would actually come off ... we'd booked the trip in early summer of last year, before hurricanes Irma and Maria ripped through the area, causing widespread devastation and loss of life. In the end, both halves of the cruise went ahead as scheduled, with all original ports included, although several of the tours we'd planned on taking were cancelled because of lingering storm damage.

So here's how it all came down, with today's post covering the first (Western Caribbean) leg of the cruise; tomorrow, we'll talk about the second (Eastern Caribbean) leg ...

We flew from NoVa to Ft Lauderdale the day before the ship's scheduled departure (not being dumb enough to assume that an airline will get you from A to B on time) and spent the night in a hotel near the cruise port. The next morning we transferred to the ship, wandered around while we waited for the delivery of our luggage, and sat through the mandatory emergency procedures briefing. Shortly after 4:00, with the ship's horn playing the old "Love Boat" theme, we sailed off on the first leg of the journey.

Early Monday morning we arrived at Princess Cays, an island owned by the Princess cruise line. We've learned that most (if not all) of the cruise lines that operate in the Caribbean have private islands that they include as stops, which provide additional opportunities for them to squeeze out money the passengers haven't already spent on board the ship. We rented some two-person clamshell beach chairs for the day and enjoyed splashing around in the water and getting sand all over everything. Here's a view of part of Princess Cays from an observation tower on the island:


And this is what the clamshell beach chairs look like: 


We were glad for the clamshells when the daily noon rain squall came through. By the way, Bernadette shot the photo above, and the clock on her camera was still set to German time ... it was 2:23 PM, not 8:23 PM, when she took the picture! 

Here's a picture of the good ship Regal Princess anchored offshore ... the captain wasn't trying to do a Costa Concordia, I just thought this was a neat angle to shoot the picture:


After leaving Princess Cays we spent a day at sea before reaching Ocho Rios, Jamaica on Wednesday morning, January 17th. Our initial impression wasn't the greatest, as we found ourselves ashore in a vast and barely-organized scrum of buses, taxis, and great crowds of milling tourists all trying to find their way around while slowly roasting in the bright Jamaican sunshine: 


We eventually found the right bus and ended up, after a short and rather hair-raising drive, at the Mystic Mountain rain forest, where we boarded a chair lift for a 17-minute ride through the rain forest canopy up to the top of the eponymous Mystic Mountain. I don't do heights especially well, and I wasn't particularly thrilled when the chair lift stopped cold just after the second tower, with Agnes and I gently swaying about 150 feet above the forest floor. It eventually started again after about ten minutes, and we continued up the mountain through the gorgeous tropical greenery with the blue of the Caribbean shimmering through the breaks in the trees. I'm not sure if you can really tell from this picture, but the chair lift ran on two levels - the trip up the mountain was at a tree-top level, while the route down the mountain was at a lower elevation to allow riders whose eyes were not screwed shut in fear to see the flora and fauna about halfway down to the ground:


Speaking of fauna, we met quite a few of the local banana spiders, which seemed to be everywhere, whether there were any bananas or not. I'll take the bananas, and you can have the spiders, thank you very much ...


At the top of the mountain were various opportunities to swim (they had a nice infinity pool!) or ride a bobsled partway down the slope. The guide explained that in a two man bobsled, the person in front steers and the one in the back screams. From what we heard, it sounded like a proper division of labor.

We didn't swim or ride the bobsleds, but visited a beautiful, serene hummingbird sanctuary (hummingbirds are notoriously difficult to photograph, but trust me - they're gorgeous) and took some photos of the port of Ocho Rios (two ships in town while we were there) 


and the beautiful Jamaican rain forest and sky


While we rode the chair lift back down the mountain, I commented to Agnes about how much the calls of the monkeys in the jungle sounded like screeching people. No sooner had I made this insightful comment than a young woman roared by below us on a zip line, screaming in terror and glued tightly to her safety escort. As we rode sedately past the platform where she'd landed, the escort gave us a thumbs-up and a happy smile and shouted up that "She saw Jesus!" From the look and sound of her, I think she saw a whole lot of saints, too.

Back at the bottom of the mountain we walked a meandering route through the forest back toward where our bus was parked, and passed lots of interesting trees and plants with signs indicating what they were. I thought this one was interesting ...


A tree that produces spices for use with pork and as an embalming agent. What could possibly go wrong? 

From Ocho Rios, we were supposed to sail to Grand Cayman. Unfortunately, the weather was so bad and the winds and seas so rough that the Regal Princess could not safely lower the tenders needed to carry us into the harbor (which was not suitable for huge cruise ships), and the captain made the decision to bypass Grand Cayman and proceed directly to the next stop at Cozumel, Mexico. This was disappointing, as we'd been looking forward to snorkeling and doing the stingray swim at Grand Cayman, but what the heck ... we'll probably be back*.

We arrived at Cozumel mid-morning on Friday, January 19th, after a relaxing, if unplanned, extra day at sea. There were seven (!) huge cruise ships in the harbor, five of them anchored alongside each other at one end (Regal Princess is on the far right), and two more about a mile away ... proof positive of the importance of cruise tourism to the local economy.


As soon as the ship was berthed and ready for disembarkation, we headed off to a day of lounging on the beach at Isla Pasión - Passion Island**.


It was a 45-minute trip by boat from the harbor around to the Passion Island resort, and the trip was ... well ... damp. The seas were fairly heavy and the open-sided boat threw up sheets of spray each time we hit a swell ... thoroughly drenching Agnes, who was sitting on the open port*** side. The seas were, in fact, rough enough that swimming at the beach was "at your own risk," and no lifeguards were posted. In the picture below, the posts you can see in the surf are supports for hammocks that allow you to relax in the warm water ... which were, unfortunately, off limits:


Away from the relatively narrow strip of developed beach, the island quickly gave way to fairly dense and beautiful forest:


We had access to a beachside buffet for lunch and an open bar for countering the lingering effects of news from Washington. There was also a cash bar at which one could get the more exotic treats, such as the "Passion Island Coconut," filled with coconut milk well-spiked with island rum. I couldn't pass it up:


And, this being Mexico, you couldn't escape the aggressive roaming vendors and - of course - the "discount drugstores:"


We returned to the Regal Princess about 3:00, having sufficiently roasted in the Caribbean sun, and the ship sailed at about 10:00 PM for the end of the first leg of the cruise in Ft Lauderdale, where we arrived early on Sunday morning, January 21st ...

... and where we will pick up the rest of the adventure tomorrow with the story of our cruise to the hurricane-devastated Eastern Caribbean. Have a good day ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Unless the GOP Congress succeeds in wrecking our Social Security and our savings before then.

** When you're 66 years old, lounging on the beach constitutes passion.


*** "Port" = "Left." See how well I've mastered that nautical lingo?