Poetry Sunday

Memories of summer ...

The Last Perfect Season

by Joyce Sutphen

No one knew it then, but that was the last
perfect season, the last time sky and earth

were so balanced that when we walked,
we flew, the last time we could pick a crate

of strawberries every morning in June,
the last time the mystical threshing

machine appeared at the edge of the field,
dividing the oats from the chaff, time of

hollyhocks and sprinklers, white clouds over
a tin roof. Everyone we knew was young then.

Our mothers wore dresses the color of
dove wings, slim at the waist, skirts flaring

just enough to let the folds drape slightly,
like the elegant suits our fathers wore,

shirts so white they dazzled even
the grainy eye of the camera when

we looked down into the viewfinder to
press the button that would keep us there,

as if we already knew that this was
as good as it was ever going to get.


Have a good day, and enjoy the summer while it lasts.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

June grinds on ... however, because we have house guests visiting from Germany for the next few weeks and will be busy with tour-guiding and such, I won't have time to give you the usual roundup of bad news until things settle down. Just watch CNN and Fox to get your diametrically opposed views of the world, then head for the nearest bar to drown your sorrows. The news summaries will return at the end of June.

In my ongoing quest to tone up my aging body, I've started going to yoga lessons at our local rec center. As it turns out, yoga is a popular subject for cartoons, as we see in this week's selection of funnies ...

There's nothing like doing the "Downward Facing Dog" pose when your nose starts running ...

Seeing the true inner light, 2018-style ...

Cell phone yoga ...

I understand ...

Ahhh ... political yoga ...

I remember playing Twister back when my body could move in more directions ...

I understand this one, too ...

Yoga shampoo?

It's best to know the local rules ...

I'm over 65 ... this is a very good yoga pose ...

Have a good day and a great weekend. Poetry Sunday will appear tomorrow ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2018

As you know, Dear Readers, every two weeks I whine about how difficult it has become to select a single Ass Clown awardee from the enormous numbers of candidates that are clamoring for attention in today's increasingly toxic political, religious, and social environment. Indeed, it has become so difficult that - today - I am taking the unprecedented step of announcing a three-way tie for the designation of

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2018

The first co-awardee is:

Virginia Congressional Candidate

Nathan Larson

Mr Larson, who is running as an independent to represent the Charlottesville area, is an admitted pedophile who has bragged in website posts about raping his late ex-wife, and who created websites that served as gathering places for pedophiles and violence-minded misogynists.

The second co-awardee is not a person, but a thing:

The BCB Wall Breaker

This device, fawningly reviewed in this article from Fox News, is a cannon which fires ordinary projectiles such as water cooler bottles with enough force to blast through walls. It's being hyped as the latest solution to the plague of school shootings - equip each room with a cannon which can be used to blast an escape route for students trapped by an armed killer. The article doesn't discuss the cost of the cannon, but in a time when school budgets are being relentlessly slashed, it seems like an odd thing on which to spend scarce money.

And our third and final co-awardee is:

"Prosperity Gospel" Televangelist

Jesse Duplantis

Mr Duplantis made news this past week when he asked his followers to contribute about $54 million to help him purchase a new airplane - his fourth - to spread the gospel to as many people as possible. Duplantis says he needs the new airplane, rather than any of his current ones, because

"... a brand new Falcon 7X ... can go anywhere in the world, one stop ... And if I can do it one stop, I can fly it for a lot cheaper, because I have my own fuel farm. And that’s what’s been a blessing of the Lord."

Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once opined that God is dead. For people like Mr Duplantis, scamming money from their shearable flocks, God is bread.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, our co-awardees for the dishonor of being named the Right Cheek Ass Clown for June, 2018, are Nathan Larson, the BCB Wall Breaker, and Jesse Duplantis. Perhaps a large enough version of the BCB Wall Breaker might be used to propel Mr Duplantis at a fraction of the cost of a new Falcon 7X luxury jet ... it worked for generations of people shot out of cannons at circuses.

Have a good day. See you tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Magic Words

Magic words and incantations are a staple of fairy tales, fantasies, and horror stories. They are the words that give mystical powers to those who say them, or call up arcane forces for good or evil. You know some of the classic magic words:

Abracadabra (a version of this, avada kedavra, was the Killing Curse, one of the Unforgiveable Curses, in the Harry Potter stories)

Shazam

Open Sesame (used by Ali Baba to open the cave of the 40 Thieves)

Sim Sala Bim (from the TV series Johnny Quest and the film Oz the Great and Powerful)

Alakazam

Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang (from the 1951 song “Witch Doctor”)

And the ones our parents (well, mine, anyway) always wanted us to use: Please and Thank You*.

There are also the evil incantations, such as H.P. Lovecraft’s unpronounceable "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

Of course nowadays we’re pretty sophisticated, and we know that there aren’t any real magic words, right?

Wrong.

We use powerful incantations, and experience their use upon us, every day. The most widely used and powerful of the modern incantations is

National Security, which can be used to justify almost any action, no matter how unconstitutional or unconscionable.

Other powerful incantations, capable of clouding the mind and judgement of those who don't think for themselves are:

Fake News, which, like The Shadow, has the power to cloud men's minds.

And

Second Amendment, used to dispel and confuse arguments about ways to reduce gun violence in America.

Magic words and incantations are real, and are being used on us every day. What other examples do you see? Leave a comment.

Have a good day and protect yourself against political enchantments. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* If you watched the old Captain Kangaroo show, you know his magic words were "abracadabra please and thank you."

On Being Patriotic

A few days ago I went out with Agnes on a field trip to her favorite crafts store ... after all, someone needs to mind the cart while she ponders the difference between six different shades of blue fabric, right?

Anyhow, I took notice of the store’s large displays of decorations for the upcoming Fourth of July holiday. Great piles of red, white, and blue bunting, flags in all sizes, fierce-looking eagles, Gadsden flags, and dozens of different sizes and styles of signs shouting the single word “freedom” - everything you need to decorate for Independence Day in true American style.

But it just doesn’t seem to ring true, somehow.

Make no mistake: I am a proud American and I love my country ... at least, I love the America that used to be where some other strange country is now. I’m embarrassed by ostentatious displays of “patriotism” purchased at the local crafts store and unsupported by the actions of a thoughtful, well-informed citizen. Here’s what I think:

It’s not “patriotic” to worship the Second Amendment if you ignore all the other ones.

It’s not “patriotic” to believe freedom of religion applies only to those who worship like you do.

It's not "patriotic" to believe freedom of speech doesn't apply to those whose ideas differ from yours.

It’s not “patriotic” if you believe that people of the other political party hate America.

It’s not “patriotic” if you believe the borders should be hermetically sealed to keep others from aspiring to the American dream*.

It’s not “patriotic” to fly the Confederate flag, the Gadsden flag, or any flag other than the Stars and Stripes.

It’s not “patriotic” to demand your rights and ignore your responsibilities.

It’s not “patriotic” to insist on your right to carry weapons everywhere you go unless you’re also willing to enlist in the armed services to defend your country.

It’s not “patriotic” to complain about your government if you didn’t vote.

As we get ready to celebrate Independence Day, be a real patriot. Don’t be an empty-headed, flag-waving poser.

Have a good day. More thoughts later.

Bilbo

* This does not mean that crossing the border illegally is okay - it's not. What it means is that we need to get rid of a feckless Congress that doesn't have the guts to enact rational immigration laws for 21st century America.

Musical Sunday

Last Friday we celebrated the birthday of actor, singer, and comedian Andy Griffith, perhaps best remembered for his television portrayal of folksy sheriff Andy Taylor on television. Griffith was also a gifted comic storyteller, and one of his best-known (at least, to my generation) routines was "What It Was Was Football," the story of a country bumpkin looking for a tent revival who ends up witnessing his first football game. Here you go ...

Don't drop your big orange.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

And what a week it's been ...

Sending a clear message to those who might be in legal jeopardy because of their relationships with him, Donald Trump began issuing politically-motivated pardons this week, including to conservative commentator Dinesh D'Souza, convicted of campaign finance law violations; Roseanne Barr's show was cancelled and she was fired by ABC after she sent a crudely racist tweet ... and not to be outdone, TV figure Samantha Bee used an unforgivably crude and vile term to refer to First Daughter Ivanka Trump; dissident Russian journalist Arkady Babchenko faked his death on Tuesday as part of a sting operation with Ukrainian authorities to foil an alleged Russian assassination plot; and the Trump administration has imposed tariffs on steel and aluminum imports from key American allies, a move sure to anger his base when the price of tinfoil hats goes up.

This week, in honor of politicians and celebrities everywhere we feature cartoons about clowns.

It's a safety feature ...

Well, Donald Trump has demonstrated this ...

Appropriate naming convention ...

Plenty of need in the current administration, not to mention Congress ...

The physical ...

Planning ahead is a good thing ...

Really small ...

Why clowns can always use the HOV lanes ...

It's not a place for those suffering from coulrophobia ...

He wouldn't be, would he? 

That's it for this week, in which we remembered that not all clowns hold elective office, but that many do. Have a great weekend and come back tomorrow, when Musical Sunday brings you a great oldie from Andy Griffith. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

Great Moments in Editing and Signage

Is there an English major in the house? ...

Dizzy yet?

Well, how big would you expect them to be? 

I'm not surprised ...

Yum!

And here I always thought horses were herbivores ...

That's what you get when you can't afford really good health insurance ...

Now, that's a well-equipped horse ...

You've gotta love autocorrect ...

How did you think they package it?

That must have been a really stressful job ...

And we're off and running into June! It can't be any worse than May ... can it?

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday looks at Congress.

Bilbo

Poetry Sunday

I've been retired going on three (gasp!) years and yes, I do do things more slowly now ... but with no less gusto.

Retired 

by Faith Shearin 

On the island where I was a child
nearly everyone was retired, their fortunes
already made. Death was around them
the way water was around our streets.
They taught me how to go fishing
without catching fish; the tide’s breath
was marked in notebooks they kept
beneath their pillows. One old lady
fed me chocolates from a tin
until my teeth were stained by greed.
The old do things slowly so I grew used
to grocery store lines
that did not move, cars that stopped
in the middle of the road. One man spent
a whole day helping me bury a squirrel;
we wrote odes and dirges
to the way it once hurried and planned.


Have a good day, and enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

It's Cartoon Saturday!!

The Mac has been repaired, the system has been restored from the last backup, and we're back in business! Now for the bad news ...

Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un continued to play "After You, Alphonse" over their on-again, off-again summit meeting; the federal government has placed thousands of unaccompanied immigrant children in the homes of sponsors, but is unable to account for nearly 1,500 of them; Irish voters, in a landslide vote, have decided to overturn the national ban on abortion; the Kilauea volcano in Hawaii continues to pour out lava and ash, threatening homes and businesses on the Big Island; and in the latest school shooting, an unarmed teacher* in Indiana attacked and subdued a student who shot him three times and wounded another student.

This week - cartoons about politicians, because why not?

Now, THIS is a horrifying alien attack threat ...

It's an endless cycle ...

True. Very true ...

As a career move, it makes a lot of sense ...

An old saying that stays true over time ...

You've gotta love those technicalities ...

Or even president ...

No issue with "goin' legit" here ...

Any more, that's what voting comes down to ... 

How things trickle down over time ...

And that's it for this week's somewhat-delayed Cartoon Saturday. It's nice to have my beloved Mac back again.

Have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend, and take a few minutes amid the barbecues and the picnics to remember what it means.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* I thought the only thing that stopped a bad guy with a gun was a good guy with a gun. Hmmm ...