Dental Economics, or the Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing but the Tooth

Let's talk about the economics of teeth, shall we?

There were two things that led me to ... uh ... sink my teeth into this topic. The first was a letter from my dental insurance company, proudly announcing that I can get dependable and affordable dental coverage* when I retire (I have dental insurance through my employer now). This is one of the many things I have to worry about as I approach the age of full geezerhood, along with finding affordable medical care, affordable food, affordable housing, and pants that belt up under my armpits. I'm just glad to know that my elected reprehensives of both parties are working hard on the issue: the GOP is working hard to maximize profits and minimize costs for the insurance companies and the medical care industry, while the Democrats are working hard to provide Real People with the best possible care without regard for how it gets paid for. Good luck with all that.

The other thing that got me to thinking about teeth was this article: Tooth Fairy Tightens Purse Strings, Pays Less Per Tooth.

It seems that the Tooth Fairy**, that cheap bastard, is cutting back on payments to children for their lost teeth. According to the article:

"After hitting a high of $3.70 per tooth in 2013, [the Tooth Fairy's] average payout dropped to $3.43 in 2014 and is down yet again to $3.19 this year, according to a new survey by Visa. And she clearly favors the rich. Kids in families who make less than $75,000 a year are getting just $3.07 per tooth, while kids in families who earn more are averaging $3.46, reports UPI. She also has a thing for the Northeast, where kids enjoy the highest average return of $3.56 per tooth; kids suffer the most in the South, where a tooth goes for just $3.07."

Well, hell! ... I remember Little Bilbo and his siblings back in the 50's getting a dime for a regular tooth and a quarter for a molar. Times change, don't they?

And - believe it or not - there is also a "Tooth Fairy Calculator App" available at the iTunes app store to help you calculate the proper payout for a particular tooth, based on gender, education, state, age, family size, marital status and household income.

And finally, there's the GOP tooth fairy ...

But that's enough biting sarcasm for now.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Luckily, eye care is presently covered under my medical insurance (also provided through my employer), which will help me read the fine print in the offer from the dental insurance company.

** Not to be confused with the somewhat more sinister "Tooth Fairy" in the Thomas Harris thriller Red Dragon.

A Rant About Elevators and Rents

I haven't had a good rant lately, and I think I'm about due. Bear with me on this one for a while, because it's going to take a while ...

First off, there was an article a while back in the Washington Post about a DC hardware store, a longtime neighborhood landmark, that is closing after 35 years in business because of skyrocketing rent for the store space. The owner noted that his rent has nearly doubled in the last three years, and said that "When the rent is so high, it becomes very hard to make money."

Well, not for everybody. It seems to me that the person who owns the store space is making lots of money. He just makes it by soaking the hell out of his renters, who have to pass the costs on down to their customers who - being at the bottom of the economic food chain - have to eat it because they can't pass their increased living expenses on to anyone else.

Which leads us to my rant about rents and the failures of those who charge them ...

I rent a 10-by-10 foot, non-climate controlled storage space in a local self-storage facility that's part of a nationwide chain. I've been renting this space for a very long time, and one of the most reliable facts of life is that every July, the rent I pay for that space goes up. Last year it went up by $19 per month. This year it went up by $16 per month. Per month, that may not seem so bad, but it works out to a lot of money over the course of a year*.

Now, back in January, 2014, I was taking all of our Christmas decorations back to the storage unit to put away until the following season. I was riding up in the wheezing, creaking freight elevator and happened to notice that the elevator inspection certificate would expire at the end of that month.

I didn't think about that for a while, but when I needed to get some things out of the storage unit a few months later, I noticed that the elevator inspection certificate was still the one that expired the previous January. On the way out, I mentioned it to the on-site manager, who faithfully assured me that the elevator was safe and they were working the issue.

My rent having just gone up, I was a little upset that they couldn't handle something so ordinary (and legally required, per county ordinance) as an elevator inspection, and so I made it a point to check that certificate each month when I went in to pay the rent. Each month, I got the same response - a variation on "don't worry, it's safe, we're working on it."

I was pretty well fed up by the time January 31st of 2015 rolled around, the inspection certificate had been expired for a full year, and I was tired of getting stonewalled by the on-site manager. In March, I sent an e-mail to the company's district manager, asking when the elevator would be inspected and certified safe ... and I enclosed a picture I'd taken of the expired certificate.

I received no response to the e-mail. I told the on-site manager that if I received another rent increase notice and the elevator hadn't been inspected, I'd report the whole thing to the Better Business Bureau (BBB). She made all the right noises and assured me (as she had each month up to that point) that she was keeping the district manager informed, but nothing happened.

Sure enough, at the end of May came the post card from the company, announcing the usual rent increase, effective July 1st. I duly submitted a complaint to the Better Business Bureau, including a copy of my unanswered e-mail to the district manager and a copy of the photo of the expired inspection certificate ... now nearly a year and a half out of date.

The BBB promptly acknowledged receipt of my complaint, and then things went dark for about another two weeks ... at which time I got another e-mail from the BBB, telling me they had referred my complaint to one of their offices in California! I called the local point of contact at the BBB to ask why my local problem was not being handled locally, and he told me that their procedure was to refer all such issues to the BBB office located nearest the home office of the company concerned, which in this case was in Glendale, California.

The issue sat there for another week, at which time the California BBB office sent me an e-mail to tell me they'd assigned a case number, and referred me to their website where I could track the resolution of the issue. Two weeks later, the website announced that the case had been closed ... with no further explanation or information. And, needless to say, no contact from the storage company.

I managed to find a phone number for the local district manager of the storage company, and called him directly. There was, of course, no answer, and so I left a detailed message on the answering machine, giving a brief history of the complaint and noting that he had never responded to my earlier e-mail request for information.

A few days later, the district manager called me back. Here's what he said:

1. He'd only been in the job for a few months, so he couldn't tell me why things were the way they were and he wasn't to blame. He was working with a company to fix the elevator so it would pass the inspection, but the paperwork on display would probably continue to be out of date because the inspectors had to do that part, and he couldn't control how they did their jobs.

2. He had no control over the rent I was charged, which was set at the national level and depended on a lot of factors like the zip code, the space size, proximity of the space to the elevator, the phase of the moon, the latitude and longitude of the Playboy Mansion, and the value in Greek drachmas of five square yards of linoleum**.

3. He told me that although he didn't have the authority to reduce the rent I was being charged, I could pay less if I cancelled the contract for the space I have now, rented a different space of the same size in the same facility for the new renter's introductory price, and moved all my stuff.

I told him that was stupid. His response was the equivalent of a take-it-or-leave-it shrug.

And today - August 19th, 2015 - the elevator inspection certificate has been expired for more than a year and a half, in which time my rent has been raised twice and I've been casually farted off by both the storage company and the Better Business Bureau ... which is supposed to be looking out for my interests, ha, ha.

But that's life in a capitalist system. If the GOP should win the next election and keep kissing the backsides of big business interests, there'll be no point in complaining about rising prices, lousy customer service, or jobs shipped overseas, because when the ruling party worships at the festooned altar of the Holy Church of the Mystical Job Creator***, Joe Consumer is completely unimportant and beneath notice.

Unless, of course, he's late with his rent ... in which case he gets plenty of notice.

And my rent will continue to go up every July, whether or not that elevator is ever repaired and inspected.

End of rant. I'll let you know if the elevator is ever fixed.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* The obvious solution, of course, is to get rid of most of the stuff that's stored there. Unfortunately, for a lot of reasons that's not an option.

** He really didn't put it that way, but his explanations made about as much sense.

*** Let me hear you say, "Hallelujah!" ... then look around for all those jobs they're supposed to have created.

Favorite Movie Scenes

There's an Internet meme that pops up from time to time asking one to name one's favorite movie scenes. I don't usually like to do memes (because they end up getting you tagged for millions of other memes, most of which are stupid or uninteresting), but I rather liked this one because I love movies. In this regard, I'm right up there with one of my favorite singing groups, the Statler Brothers ...

And so I'll share with you, Dear Readers, some of my favorite movie scenes (and I apologize in advance for some of the ads that come up before the clip starts ... they're a pain, but they're the price of YouTube) ...

From "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King": in the face of overwhelming odds, King Theoden* rallies his troops at the siege of Gondor:

The first 20 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan":

The battle between the Enterprise and the Reliant in "Start Trek: The Wrath of Khan"**:

Taylor finds the wreckage of the Statue of Liberty on the beach in "Planet of the Apes":

Although it's no longer politically correct nowadays to honor or show any sympathy for those who fought for the Confederacy, this scene of Pickett's Charge from the movie "Gettysburg" has to call forth respect for the courage of those who charged at the Union line:

And finally, from the same film but from the other side's perspective, the 20th Maine on Little Round Top, outnumbered and out of ammunition, routs the Confederate attack with a bayonet charge led by ... of all people ... General Joshua Chamberlain, an English professor from Bowdoin College:

I have a lot of other "favorite" scenes ... what are some of yours? Leave a comment.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* I love the acting by Bernard Hill ... the way his expression starts with one of desperation and horror, then sets into one of, "screw you, orcs, we're coming for your heads!"

** The starships are much better actors than William Shatner.

Guest Post

Hi, folks! It's me again, Clara, Bilbo and Agnes's granddog.

I haven't had a chance to post for a while*, because I've been in the doghouse (literally) after eating the living room couch at home. There's no Internet connection in my doghouse out in the yard, so I had to wait until I had a chance to visit Bilbo and Agnes again. They're still asleep, so I have a chance to give you another dog's-eye view of things.

First of all, if you have a dog or a child of your own, I hope you're paying attention to the heat this summer and not leaving him (or her) in the car unattended. We can suffer and die very quickly in a hot car, so please be sure you know what you're doing. We dogs will happily give our lives to protect you and your children ... we don't expect you to do the same, but we do expect you to take care of us!

I had a great time this past weekend when we celebrated the birthday of Leya, Bilbo's granddaughter and one of the children I watch over. It was a pool party on a hot day, and they let me go in the pool and have snacks and everything. I'm a pit bull, and we're not usually water dogs, but a hot day brings out my inner Retriever. It was especially fun when the kids would throw things into the pool and let me dive in after them. Is this a great dive or what?

Of course, it's not easy doing all that swimming and playing and protecting the children and policing up all the food that happens to fall to the ground ... even a dedicated and hard-working dog like me needs a rest once in a while!

Well, I guess that's it for now. I know that this is what you humans call an "election season," and that means that a lot of people do a lot of talking without having much worthwhile to say. We dogs aren't like that. When we bark, it's because we have something important to say. It might be something as simple as "there's a dog on guard here, so stay out" or as important as "the children are in danger!", but we don't bark just for the sake of barking, like that stupid Trump guy.

As Bilbo would say, have a good day. He'll be back tomorrow.

Until then, arf!

Clara

* You can read my last post here, in case you missed it.

Poetry Sunday

Sometimes, amid the hectic pace of modern life and the demands of work, family, and political chicanery, it's good to just chill and think about the simple things, as Henry David Thoreau would encourage you to do ...

Simplicity 

by Henry David Thoreau 

Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as
two or three, and keep your accounts on your thumb nail …
I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time.
To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome
and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the
companion that was so companionable as solitude …
If one advances confidently in the direction of his
dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has
imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in
common hour …

A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener.
So our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts.
We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and
took advantage of every accident that befell us. Sometimes, in
a summer morning, having taken my accustomed bath, I sat in my
sunny doorway from sunrise till noon, rapt in a revery, amidst the
pines and hickories and sumachs, in undisturbed solitude and
stillness, while the birds sing around or flitted noiseless through
the house, until by the sun falling in at my west window, or the
noise of some traveller’s wagon on the distant highway, I was
reminded of the lapse of time.


The line in this poem that speaks of "a single gentle rain (that) makes the grass many shades greener" reminds me of one of my most vivid memories: we were all very young, it had been raining, and we were piled into the car to go with my father to visit one of his friends who had been making a very specialized prop he needed for an advertising picture*. This fellow lived in the Oakland section of Pittsburgh, and as we turned down his street, lined with trees and hedges and flowers, I was amazed at the tremendously vivid, sharp colors of everything in the damp left by the morning rain. I can still see that picture today, many years later.

Have a good day, and enjoy what remains of your weekend. Simply.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

*An interesting story in itself.

Cartoon Saturday

We're 50% of the way through August ...

A White House staffer was arrested this week after firing shots at her boyfriend, a police officer - with his own gun - in a fit of rage after accusing him of infidelity; an enormous explosion devastated large areas of the Chinese city of Tianjin, killing more than 60 people, injuring another 700 or more, and leaving an estimated 6,000 homeless; in Paraguay, an 11-year-old girl has given birth to a healthy baby girl after she was denied an abortion after allegedly being raped by her stepfather; political gadfly and long-shot presidential wannabe Donald Trump received a summons to report for jury duty ... but having ignored five other summons over the last nine years, there's no telling if he'll deign to appear; and because we don't have enough current political sex scandals, a DNA test has reportedly proven that Warren Harding, who was president from 1921 until his death in 1923, had an affair and fathered a "love child" with a woman 31 years younger than he (although the affair took place before he was elected president).

Warren Harding? Seriously? I need some good cartoons.

This week, for no reason other than it seemed like a good idea at the time, our theme cartoons feature chickens ... not just any chickens, but free-range chickens ...

Even a chicken needs to make good campaign speeches ...

Or have a swinging relationship ...

Well yes, that would be a good indication ...

But the ball and chain is so old-fashioned ...

Of course, I suppose it's possible to be too free-range ...

Or maybe not ...

Moving on to other topics, I thought this was a great comic commentary on "reality" TV ...

So, sir, what was your first clue? ...

One can be a bit too good of a listener ...

Finally, this would be my favorite part of New York, too ...

And there you have it ... our third Cartoon Saturday for the month of August. It looks going to be a nice weekend here in NoVa, with beautiful weather both days and a visit to Washington's Mandarin Oriental Hotel for a formal High Tea on Sunday afternoon for granddaughter Leya's eighth birthday. It was her idea.

Have a good day and a great weekend. Come back tomorrow for Poetry Sunday.

More thoughts then.

Bilbo

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown of the Month for August, 2015

Well, Dear Readers, it's the right time of a new month, and that means it's time to select the

Right Cheek Ass Clown

for August, 2015

As always, there are plenty of eligible candidates, but this time there's a clear winner ...

The "Oath Keepers"

The "Oath Keepers" describe themselves as a group focused on fulfilling the oath taken by military and police to "defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic*,” and solemnly intone that they support the Constitution, not the President**. They are composed of members who have, or have previously had, some sort of connection to law enforcement or the military. Unfortunately, they do not always have a connection to good sense.

This past week Ferguson, Missouri, a town roiled by violence stemming from the shooting of an unarmed black man by a police officer last year, had its problems increased by the arrival of a group of heavily armed "Oath Keepers" who claimed to be there to protect writers from the conservative website Infowars.com**. A member of the group said that journalists are sometimes robbed or beaten when trying to cover volatile events and that his group wanted to ensure the conservative writers were free to document the protests.

The idea that a group of heavily-armed white men without legal authority**** wandering the streets of angry black neighborhoods might not be a good thing seems not to have occurred to these self-proclaimed defenders of truth, justice, and the American way.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the "Oath Keepers" have richly earned our designation as the August 2015 Right-Cheek Ass Clown of the Month.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for Cartoon Saturday. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Except for those on the far right of the political spectrum.

** The fact that the Constitution (Article II, Section 2) identifies the President as "Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States", and therefore the ... well ... commander in chief ... is a subtlety lost on many observers on the far right.

*** Inforwars.com is the website of conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who was our Left-Cheek Ass Clown awardee in May of this year. 

**** Their Constitutional right to "bear arms" isn't in question ... however, their good sense in doing so at this time and place is. For another example, see our Left Cheek Ass Clown awardee from this past June.

Pro-Life or Pro-Birth?

Warning: this is a high-level touch-the-third-rail post. If you are not ready for rational and compassionate thought and discussion, go away and come back tomorrow for the naming of our Right-Cheek Ass Clown for July.

There are two topics it is said that one should never discuss in polite company: religion and politics. That’s very true these days, as the discussion of either topic quickly becomes lacking in politeness, not to mention compassion, empathy, and common sense. On the political side, there is no rational discussion of serious issues, because everyone’s opinions have been formulated in their own partisan echo chambers - there’s clearly no point in listening to a liberal (if you’re a conservative) or a conservative (if you’re a liberal), because nothing the other loser has to say is worth listening to.

The problem is the same with religion, except that it’s even more of an all-or-nothing exchange – when you absolutely believe that God (the one you worship, who is clearly the right one) is guiding you, there’s no room at all for consideration of any other point of view … those other people are obviously not only wrong, but forever damned.

Politics and religion meet in the ultimate third-rail topic that can never be discussed – the topic of abortion.

Now, before I go on, let me make one thing perfectly clear: I do not support abortion in almost all cases. I have three children of whom I am very proud, and six grandchildren I love with all my heart, and I can’t imagine a circumstance in which the thought of abortion would ever have entered my mind.

Sadly, though, we have reduced the discussion of this topic to the level of a clash of rights: the “right to choose” versus the “right to life.” The most consequential and important of issues is reduced to an argument between those supporting a woman’s right to control her body and those supporting an unborn child’s right to exist. I believe both sides are right and both are wrong.

The most wonderful summary of the fundamental issue came not long ago in a comment by Benedictine Sister Joan Chittister, who said,

"I do not believe that just because you're opposed to abortion, that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking if all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed. And why would I think that you don't? Because you don't want any tax money to go there. That's not pro-life. That's pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is."

Sister Joan has hit on the fundamental hypocrisy of the conservative “pro-life” movement. There is a dichotomy between wanting every child to be born, but espousing political and economic philosophies that deny the programs that would help feed, house, educate, and provide medical care for, or that oppose the measures that might reduce the number of abortions sought - such as sex education for children of an appropriate age, availability of counseling and birth control measures, and so on. It also extends to an insistence on prioritizing the life of the unborn child over that of the mother, and an unwillingness on the part of many "pro-life" advocates to adopt the children carried to term by mothers who do not want them.

Abortion is a horrible thing, and we must reduce the number of abortions sought each year. But don't call yourself "pro-life" when what you are is, in Sister Joan's elegant summation, "pro-birth." You can't be "pro-life" while opposing everything that might make the child's life safe, happy, and healthy.

Have a good day. Love your children. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Going Down. And Out.

Suicide is a serious problem in this country; indeed, it has become such a problem in the armed services that suicide prevention training is now mandatory for military and government civilian personnel*. For myself, I have to say I'm enjoying life too much to contemplate ending it before my allotted time, but there are some people who - for whatever reason - no longer wish to live. They may have an incurable, debilitating illness, have suffered some terrible humiliation from which they don't think they can recover, or have some other personal issue from which they see no exit other than the one that's most final.

Most people who want to commit suicide want it to be simple, quick, and painless**, but it's not necessarily so. Dorothy Parker wrote in her famous poem titled "Resumé" ...

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

This rather morbid topic was suggested to me when I read this article by Laura Secorun Palet in the Ozy online magazine: Roller Coaster of Death.

It seems that a Lithuanian engineer named Julijonas Urbonas, while a Ph.D. candidate in design interactions at the Royal College of Art in London, designed what he called a “Euthanasia Coaster,” a giant roller coaster that would run its passengers through a series of extreme drops and loops designed to create euphoria, and then kill them by cutting off oxygen to the brain. Here is a diagram of what the Roller Coaster of Death would look like ...

... and here is how the article says it would work:

"First the rider would face a long, slow climb up to more than 500 meters, giving him or her a few minutes to think back on life and contemplate the decision. At the top, there would be time to say a prayer or blow a kiss to relatives (or bail) before pressing the “fall” button and plummeting into the long steep plunge followed by the first 360-degree loop. That’s where most riders would die ... traveling at 100 meters per second, the person would experience a G-force-induced loss of consciousness due to cerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen reaching the brain), which often causes a sense of euphoria. Just in case that first one didn’t do it, six more consecutive loops would finish the job."

Mr Rubonas's invention has not as yet attracted any commercial attention, and given societal attitudes toward assisted suicide, it probably won't, at least not any time soon. Moral and ethical issues aside, the cost of building such an enormous coaster (according to the article, it would be three times the height of the world's current highest roller coaster, which cost $25 million) would be prohibitive.

I must tell you in all candor that I didn't like roller coasters before I read this article, and now I like them even less. You go right ahead if you like ... I'll just take the pictures.

And don't consider suicide. I don't have that many readers, and I need you all.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo


* Although not for contractors. Since most contracts don't include a charge number for suicide, we're not required to take the training.

** Contrary to what the song suggests.

Job-Related Dangers

We hear a lot about police brutality lately, and indeed there are many troubling incidents which indicate that some police officers are too quick to use force - particularly against minorities - when a softer approach might be more appropriate.

But it's also good to remember that the police have a difficult job to do, often in chaotic conditions or when a life-or-death decision must be made in a split second, without the luxury of time to think things through. Make one decision and you're a hero; make another and you're the villain. I don't think I could be a police officer, and my hat is off to those who can do that difficult job.

As an example of the wide range of dangers faced by police around the world, I call your attention to this story from the South China Morning Post, which reported on the outcome of the trial of a 30-year-old woman who was convicted of assaulting a Chinese police officer during a protest in Hong Kong by hitting him with her breast.

Defendant Ng Lai-ying was convicted of using her chest to hit the right arm of the police officer, Chief Inspector Chan Ka-po, while the officer was attempting to restore order during a protest against cross-border traders. Ms Ng claimed that Inspector Chan had touched her breast while trying to grab the strap of her shoulder bag, and accused him of indecent assault. The court, however, saw it differently, with the magistrate accusing her of maliciously fabricating the charge to harm the inspector's reputation.

As you might suspect, much of the population of Hong Kong is not taking the magistrate's ruling very seriously. Protestors gathered outside police headquarters loudly chanted "breasts are not weapons," and many demonstrators - including men - wore bras to protest what they considered to be a ludicrous ruling ...

Well, if I'm a police officer facing an unruly demonstrator, I'd rather that person be brandishing a pair of 38's, as opposed to a single .38 of greater lethality.

Have a good day. Ladies, you already know that your breasts have the power to reduce otherwise powerful men to quivering wrecks ... it's not necessary to use them as bludgeons, too. Please use your concealed-carry rights wisely.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

P.S. - For another look at dangerous décolletage, check out my post from last March on bra holsters for your concealed weapon.