Thursday, May 07, 2009

Is Congress Actually French?

Like virtually everyone else in the world, I have a long-standing love-hate relationship with the French.

It began many years ago while I was still a young officer in uniform, working closely with French military and security forces in Berlin. I found most individual French people I met to be warm and friendly; but on a professional level, I found most of them to be insufferable, arrogant, and difficult to work with. Much like Americans, but they cook better.

Anyhow, I thought about the French recently when I ran across this article in Yahoo News: Sleeping and Eating - The French Do It Best.

Yes, my friends, according to this article, a survey of the leisure habits of 18 member nations of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) showed that the French spend more time sleeping and eating than anyone else among the world's wealthy nations. The average French person sleeps almost nine hours per night and spends more than two hours eating - 11 hours out of 24.

I think I'm living in the wrong place.

But I digress...

If these statistics are true (and I have no reason to doubt them), I strongly suspect that our 535 members of Congress are, in fact, French. After all, in order to accomplish as little as they do, our elected reprehensives must be spending most of their time eating and sleeping...when they're not sending out (postage-free, of course) glossy pamphlets to tell us what they aren't doing and why we should re-elect them so that they can keep on not doing it.

Is there a sinister Gallic influence at work manipulating our government? Are the French slowly taking over - right under our noses? We need to get Dan Brown on this right away ... the real threat isn't the Vatican, or even Mecca - it's the Quai d'Orsay.

We must be vigilant!

But I could still use more time eating and sleeping. I think I'll call the French embassy for more information.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

6 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Are you implying our gov't is human again?

Leslie David said...

Embassy of France

4101 Reservoir Road, NW, Washington DC 20007

Telephone: (202) 944-6000
Fax: (202) 944-6072
E-mail: info@ambafrance-us.org
URL: http://www.info-france-usa.org/

Actually I like the French and yeah you can't beat them for cooking although I'll pass on the parts is parts stuff that they eat. :) I go to the French Embassy once a month because the International Club of DC sponsors a dance lesson there, and by meeting and dancing with the guys I can get dances when I go to the Galas. They also throw one hell of a Bastille Day party--I went to that last year.

How could Congress be French when one of those bozos came up with the "Freedom Fries" bs?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Everyone will have to speak French before you know it.

SusieQ said...

"The average French person sleeps almost nine hours per night and spends more than two hours eating - 11 hours out of 24."

I am half French. That must be why it takes me a long time to eat. I am always the last one to leave the table. Next time somebody complains to me about how long I take to eat, I'll have to tell them I can't help myself, because I'm half French. I should run for Congress. I'd fit right in.

fiona said...

You inspire me! ;-)

Mike said...

Hey, they did help us get this country going. AND gave us a nice statue.

Think of it as putting up with your snotty kid brother.