Monday, May 18, 2009

Just Say "No" To ... uh ... Never Mind

Yesterday's post on things a gentleman should know about approaching single ladies really energized the ladies...Debbie even commented twice. She needs to know, though, that if you "just say no to crack! As in drugs and jeans hanging too low," there may be worse things out there ...

But I digress.

I have found Yahoo News to be a veritable treasure trove of fun and generally useless articles, particularly in its "Life" section. Consider this user post I spotted this morning in the "Love and Sex" subsection: "My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex anymore!" The lady plaintively asks, "What does this mean? Any advice?"

What it means, miss, is that your boyfriend is an alien from another world. Run away as fast as you can!! (Note: this was not one of the 435 responses posted to her question, most of which fell into two categories - (1) He's getting his nookie somewhere else; and (2) Detailed information on things she could do to rekindle his flagging interest).

Seriously, though ... the desire to avoid sex is not generally associated with boyfriends. Long-time husbands and wives, perhaps, but certainly not boyfriends.

Think about it. Sex is the bait with which women attract men, the topic without which about 2/3 of world literature would be bereft of plot. What would you replace all the gratuitous sex scenes in books and movies with? Well, yes, car chases and explosions, but those only work in some categories of movies.

If you're just going to say "no" to something, make it something worth saying "no" to ... like red beets, Citroens, Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi, or religiously and/or politically self-righteous buffoons.

Say "yes" to wonderful grandchildren, ballroom dancing, and ... well ... sex. With the right person, of course.

I would just say "no" to going to work today, but since Agnes has retired, that's not an option any more.

Sigh.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

8 comments:

KKTSews said...

Agnes retired?!!! When?
Your comments reminded me of something from "The Last Lecture"--a comment from Randy Pausch about a task/challenge to male college students where they had to create a computer game that didn't include sex or car crashes. This eliminates most things that appeal to young men!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

OMG I won't even go there with butt cleavage, because before I left work, I was subjected to it at work. Ewwww. Perhaps if a thong were involved I could laugh it away...then again, probably not.

Amanda said...

Ewww! That crack cartoon really reminds me of a neighbor here.

Agnes retired? Good for her! There is a lot of talk about retirement around me recently. It turns out that my grandfather has been retired for twice as long as his working live. And he was a government servant so they've supported him longer than he did them!

Anonymous said...

I highly resent the male chauvinist comment about women using sex as bait! I have never done that, but it's worked twice on me, of course I had to divorce them because it was just a ruse. lol

dancer said...

Agnes retired? Congratulations to her. Maybe now she'll have time to take up a hobby.... something like ballroom dance.

Mike said...

The crack reminds me of a bar in Prague. We're sitting there drinking and I have two things to look at. One, a guy trying to join the plunbers union. And two, a gal that almost looked as good as Mick Jager. One beer and it was time to move on.

SusieQ said...

"If you're just going to say "no" to something, make it something worth saying "no" to ... like red beets,...."

There you go again bashing beets. And here I thought I had converted you with my beet recipe.

anOCgirl said...

just say no to religiously and/or politically self-righteous buffoons--i NEED this on a bumper sticker!