Tuesday, September 29, 2009

You, Too, Can Be a General!

Between the end of the Vietnam War and the current unpleasantness in Iraq and Afghanistan, generals - the senior leaders of the armed services - have enjoyed a bit of a boost in recognition, if not outright popularity. General "Stormin' Norman" Schwarzkopf led the allied coalition to victory in the first Gulf War, and now generals like David Petraeus and Stanley McChrystal are household names...generally admired and respected on the Right and viewed with suspicion or outright hostility by the Left.

Regardless of what you may think about them personally, American generals tend to be well-educated, well-trained leaders, respected by their peers in other nations and by the men and women they lead. They don't become generals because of family connections, but because of proven military and political skills. There are exceptions, of course, but these are rare and the American military is led by solid professional soldiers, rather than by the bemedalled and beribboned clothes horses often seen in many Third World armies.

It's a little different in some armies. According to an article in the South China Morning Post titled The Top Brass Who Can't Fight, China's People's Liberation Army (or "PLA") has at least 30 generals who have no leadership or battle training - they are singers, dancers, actresses, or musicians given general's rank as an expression of their perceived value to maintaining the morale of the troops. The practice dates back to the time of Mao Zedong, who recruited entertainers and granted them high ranks for their "revolutionary performances" that boosted the morale of undersupplied and overstressed common soldiers.

The practice continues today, with folk singers and other entertainers receiving general's or admiral's rank for their entertainment and morale value rather than their battle skills. The practice is being criticized in many quarters, but it does have the support of the military. Retired general Xu Guangyu was quoted in the article as saying that the real ranking of these "generals" was different from those of the rest of the army. He characterized the ranks as an "honor ranking designed for professions who make contributions to our army," noting that some top performers were given high rank "in order to guarantee their high salaries, good housing, and other lifelong benefits."

Well, perhaps this is something we should look at here at home. General Edyta Sliwinska could move between "Dancing with the Stars" and the front lines, accompanied by Generals Toby Keith and Angelina Jolie (who at least has combat training from the Laura Croft movies). John Travolta has a pilot's license...he could be an Air Force general. The Navy could be ably led by Admirals like Kanye ("the Russians have a good navy, but ours is better") West. And General Oprah Winfrey could award brand new tanks to deserving soldiers on her program.

The possibilities are endless.

You, too, can be a General! Demand the rank you deserve! Write to your elected reprehensives today ... it's not like they're doing anything else worthwhile.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

9 comments:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

But I don't want to be general!

Amanda said...

No...not for me either...

Leslie David said...

They weren't generals but many of our entertainers did serve in the military during WWII. Even Elvis went into the Army.

I agree with you that you don't become a general in our military because you're stupid--the military has a huge number of post grad degree people.

bandit said...

I could be a general. Military bands are a great source for morale and i know all the marches.

Mike could be a general because he is on top of things and rarely falls.

Bilbo said...

Andrea - that's all right...you can be specific if you want.

Amanda - I always thought most mothers would make very good generals!

Leslie - true enough. But, as you say, they weren't generals.

Bandit - perhaps you can play the drum rolls as we wait for Mike to fall off the next roof...

Mike said...

I want to be a general. But I'm going to change my name to reflect that great chineese phylos .... phill ... guy. My new name will be General Confusion.

Mike said...

Chinese - I was confused.

Confessions of a Temporal Lobe said...

It's posts like this one that gets through to the Jethro Bodean in me! Many Thanks Bilbo!

KKTSews said...

Bilbo and Leslie--But Jimmy Stewart WAS a general. After WWII he stayed in the Army Air Corps and Air Force Reserve and eventually did become a General, and I don't think it was just because of who he was in Hollywood.

And if you're going to recruit John Travolta to fly, you have to try to get Harrison Ford. Not only does he have a helicopter's pilot license, he's done air rescue on WY to help out standed folks. At least he did that when he was younger--like in his 50's.