Guest Post

Hi! It's me, Nessa, back again. Bilbo decided to let me ghost-write his blog today since I get more and better comments than he does. I'm not surprised...he can be pretty long-winded when he gets up on his soapbox and grouses about stuff. We dogs just get right to the point.

You probably didn't know we dogs can be intellectual, did you? Well, we can. Here's some poetry I wrote in the Japanese haiku style. I'll bet Bilbo can't do that...

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts--I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot-
Sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I
Have made a puddle.

Sleeping here, chin on
Your foot - no greater bliss. Well,
Maybe catching cats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.

The cat is not all
Bad--she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.

My owners' mood is
Romantic--I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

Pretty good, huh? And just as a bonus, here's a poem I found in another place. Even though some human wrote it, I surely do agree with him:

My grandpa notes the world's worn cogs
And says we're going to the dogs.
His grandpa in his house of logs
Said things were going to the dogs.
His grandpa in the Flemish bogs
Said things were going to the dogs.
His grandpa in his hairy togs
Said things were going to the dogs.
But this is what I wish to state.
The dogs have had a long, long wait.

It's a good thing we dogs are patient, isn't it?

Well, I've got to get going...there are squirrels to be chased and garbage men and paper boys to defend the house against. And I have to practice my sorrowful look so that Bilbo and Agnes will give me treats.

See you later. Bilbo will be back tomorrow, if he can get his thoughts together.

Woof.

Nessa