Sunday, April 10, 2011

The National Stupidity Condition - DUMBCON 1

Those of you who have been around this blog for a while may recall that back in 2009 I proposed the establishment of a national Stupidity Condition to help assess the prevailing level of stupidity across the nation and the world. I modeled it on the military's system of "defense conditions" (or DEFCONs, for short), and called them DUMBCONs, and they turned out to be quite popular. You can read the original post here.

About six months after that, one of my co-workers passed me a similar idea someone else had come up with - the STUPICON. This was essentially the same as my idea, but came with cool graphics and had only four levels (A through D), as opposed to the DUMBCON structure, which had five levels (5 being the lowest and 1 the highest) and no cool graphics. You can revisit that post here.

Well, in the wake of the colossal ass-clownery perpetrated by Congress in the Great 2011 Budget Fiasco, I believe it's time to dust off and update the DUMBCON, and add a cool graphic (because, as you know from watching the TV news, nothing can be properly explained without a spiffy graphic - preferably animated).

Dear Readers, I give you the updated DUMBCON structure:

Here's the updated version of how it works:

DUMBCON 5 - ordinary, day-to-day level of stupidity. People actually pay attention to clueless twits like "Reverend" Terry Jones, Ayman al-Zawahiri, Harry Reid, John Boehner, or anyone from the tea party; Lindsey Lohan is arrested again for something or other; people continue to listen to rap music. Congress is in session ...

DUMBCON 4 - things are more stupid than usual. Congressional Republicans and Democrats blame each other for the crisis du jour; Congress continues to spend money on military equipment the services don't want, but which are built in the districts of key lawmakers; Hugo Chavez or Mahmoud Ahmedinejad make lengthy speeches blaming the US for everything wrong in the world back to the extinction of the dinosaurs; Osama bin Laden issues another video or audio tape that gets 24/7 air time on al-Jazeera television.

DUMBCON 3 - things are getting pretty stupid. Congressional Republicans demand President Obama intervene to help the Libyan opposition, then beat him up once he does; mindless dumbasses continue to insist that President Obama was actually born in a stone cottage in Tierra del Fuego despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary; Republicans continue to believe that all will be well if we just get rid of unions, eliminate all spending on social programs, and slash taxes on businesses and the wealthy; Democrats continue to believe ... well ... whatever it is they believe in (they're still not sure themselves).

DUMBCON 2 - start shaking your head - it's getting really stupid out there. People continue to believe Faux News is "fair and balanced;" a crazy person shoots a Congresswoman in the head and kills and injures many more at a public event, and the NRA says that guns had nothing to do with it, that the killer would have done it anyway - he'd just have asked his victims politely to line up in sequence so he could strangle them individually; the EPA once again accepts industry threats about the economic consequences of requiring them to clean up toxic wastes and emissions, and dutifully waters down the latest set of proposed environmental protection standards.

DUMBCON 1 - stupidity beyond your wildest dreams. Go back to bed and hide under the pillows. Former Mayor Marion Barry of DC gets away with yet another outrageous act and blames criticism of his despicable behavior on racism; businesses increase prices to cover their "increased costs," but demand their employees accept wage cuts that will prevent them from buying the products they make; Congress postures and bloviates for months without passing a budget, then finally reaches agreement at the last possible second before having to shut down the government. Each side declares victory ...

... and blames the other for the fiasco ...

We're at DUMBCON 1. And the way things are going, it looks as if we probably won't need DUMBCONs 5 through 4 any more.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.


1 comment:

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Sadly this is too true.