Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Education We Need

Since we live in a time when decisions on important topics are made on the basis of half-baked bumper sticker slogans rather than careful thought and consideration of the consequences, we must prepare to face the problems that will inevitably result. Signed a "no taxes, ever" pledge? Okay, now we don't have enough money to run the government. What do we cut? I know: education! Who needs schools and libraries and programs for children, anyhow? All those teachers and administrators are overpaid and the kids can get all the education they need from memorizing the Bible/Koran/etc. Kids shouldn't waste their lives hanging around libraries reading books ... they need to get jobs and learn to support themselves.

Good luck with that, ass clowns.

So, how do we cope with our crumbling education structure ... one in which we produce fewer college graduates each year than the Chinese produce engineers?

How about night school seminars for men and women ...

Seminars for Men (Taught by Unemployed Women):

Course 001 - Combating Stupidity
Course 002 - You Can Do Housework
Course 003 - PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
Course 004 - How to Fill an Ice Cube Tray
Course 005 - We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas
Course 006 - Advanced Laundry Techniques (Formerly - Don't Wash My Silks)
Course 007 - Understanding the Female Response When You Come Home Drunk at 4:00 a.m.
Course 008 - Parenting: It Doesn't End With Conception
Course 009 - Staying Awake After Sex (classwork only - no lab)
Course 010 - Honest: You Don't Look Like Brad Pitt, Especially Naked

Seminars for Women (Taught by Unemployed Men):

Course 101 - The Truth About ESP (formerly - No, We Can’t Read Your Mind)
Course 102 - Decorating Your Bathroom With Wet Pantyhose
Course 103 - Sex Can Be Fun
Course 104 - You CAN Shop Alone
Course 105 - Logical Thinking and How to Avoid It
Course 106 - Time Management: Dressing for an Evening Out in Under Three Hours
Course 107 - Auto Maintenance 101: Filling the Gas Tank
Course 108 - The Telephone: Overcoming Your Dependency
Course 109 - Honest: You Don’t Look Like Scarlett Johansson, Especially Naked
Course 110 - Real Women Like Sex

Have a good day. Study hard. More thoughts tomorrow.


P.S. - If you think this is funny, consider that Rick Perry said in last night's debate that he'd eliminate three government agencies if elected ... one of which was the Department of Education. The second was the Department of Commerce, and he couldn't name the third. The man needs Course 001.



Mike said...

Perry needs 001r - remedial.

Elvie said...

John, who is a retired teacher thinks eliminating the education department is a good thing. He can't think of one constructive thing to come from them. Just give all that wasted money to the public schools and spend it on research also. We would get more real education out of it.

Amanda said...

We heard about that speech too....didn't anybody around him know the answer???