Wednesday, January 07, 2015

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Updated


Last week, fellow blogger and delightfully twisted thinker Angel posted an interesting article to her blog: Rebranding Pestilence. If you haven’t read it yet, take a minute and check it out. I’ll wait.

Angel’s post builds on the image of the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - War, Death, Famine, and Pestilence ...


... and imagines that Pestilence, being jealous of the relative “coolness” of War and Death, engages a publicist to make over his image*. The results are as interesting as only Angel can spin them.

But her idea of Pestilence getting a makeover led me to think about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in general, and how relevant they are to the world of 2015. Consider this: if the Book of Revelations was being written today, might we expect to see four different horsemen riding out of chapter 6, representing updated avatars of the apocalypse?

Today's horsemen might, for instance, represent a timely selection of the Seven Deadly Sins: Pride, Greed, Lust, and Anger are good candidates we can see every day in the news. Sloth is too busy in Congress to be able to take part, Gluttony has fallen out of favor with the emphasis on good nutrition, and Envy is simply too commonplace.

Or they might thunder forth from the world of Politics, where Gridlock, Bureaucracy, Sanctimony, and Self-Righteousness lurk.

They might also represent the afflictions of the cities: Traffic, Crumbling Infrastructure, Smog, and Crime.

Republicans might view the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as Obama, Clinton, Reid, and Pelosi; while Democrats might see them as Boehner, Cruz, McConnell, and Gohmert.

If you aren't willing to go all the way to apocalypse, the Four Horsemen of Annoyance** may be more your speed ...


What do you think, Dear Readers ... what are the four horsemen of today's apocalypse? Leave a comment with your choices.

And many thanks to Angel for allowing me to spin off on her idea***.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* There is a very clever story by Richard Armour (sadly, long out of print) titled “The Year Santa Went Modern,” which plays with a similar idea … but is, of course, more for children.

** I myself would replace the Constant Whistler with the Constant Cell Phone Blatherer, but to each his/her own.

*** Not that I asked, but the original inspiration came from her.

11 comments:

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Why, thank you, Bilbo. Twisted thinker I like that! And I think you did a better job in thinking of some other possibilities on the Four Horsemen theme. Anyway, I'll give it a whack: the Four Horsemen of Bad Language Use: Sports Clich├ęs like -nation, etc.), Iconic, Baby Mama, and Whatever. I'll think more about this.

Elvis Wearing a Bra on His Head said...

Here are Four Horsemen for cubicle workers: Being Kept on Hold, I-565 Traffic, 35-minute Lunch Hours, and Endless Meetings.

Anemone said...

The Four Horsemen of Southern California: Heavy Traffic, Smog, Drought, and Politics. Or maybe the last should be Jerry Brown.

Linda Kay said...

Not sure I have four originals that haven't been mentioned but how about all the MCs of shows with "Let's give it up for......" Give up what? And everybody applauds.

Duckbutt said...

The Four Horsemen of cable television: MSNBC, CNN, FOXnews and Commercials.

Anonymous said...

College Football's Four Horsemen: Bama, Fla. State, Oregon, and No Tree Dame.

Chuck Bear said...

Maybe we should just have Five Horsemen: War, Pestilence, Famine, Death, and Comcast.

Mike said...

The four weathermen.... HOT man, COLD man, SLEET man, And SNOOOOOW man.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

The Four Horsemen of Graduate School: Seminars, Sleep Deprivation, Term Papers, and Oral Exams. And a fifth and sixth ones waiting in the wings: Getting a "Real" Job and Student Loans.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Actually I like Chuck Bear's idea.

Bilbo said...

Great comments, everyone! Thank you!!