Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Guest Post

Hi, there!

My name is Clara. For some reason, Bilbo hasn't gotten around to introducing us yet, so I've got to take matters into my own paws. Nice to meet you, and thanks for dropping by.

I usually live with Bilbo's grandchildren down in Manassas, but since they're on vacation with their Mom, I'm staying with Bilbo and Agnes for a few days. I've been here before, so I've already had the chance to scope things out and find the right places to get into trouble have fun. They have a nice sofa right in front of the windows in their living room, which is the perfect place for me to stand guard and protect them from mailmen, door-to-door salespeople, and traveling politicians. And no other dog is getting into this yard, let me tell you! They also have a really nice king-sized bed for me to sleep in. Well, they really would rather I slept somewhere else, but hey, that's a lot of space for just two people, right?

You may have noticed that I'm a Pit Bull. I hope that didn't turn you off, because I'm actually a very nice dog. I really like most people (especially children), but everybody's afraid of me because they think that we're all serial killers or something. I know that some of us have been trained to be nasty, but it's not how we really are ... it's just how someone made us. I ask you ... is this a picture of a vicious dog?

We need to hire the PR guy that those dumb Labrador Retrievers hired to polish their image.

Anyway, Bilbo's not here right now, and I know that he used to let Nessa post from time to time, so I thought I'd go ahead and give it a shot myself. It isn't that hard, and I guess I can do at least as good a job as some of the humans I've seen writing stuff on this Internet thing.

So tell me, what is it with comments that make you humans so crazy? It seems as if when one person writes something on the Internet, a bunch of other people have to jump in with a bunch of comments that are really nasty and insulting, most of which doesn't have anything to do with what was originally written. What's up with that? And who's this Hitler guy that everyone compares people who don't agree with them to*?

We dogs may bark at each other, but then we just sniff each other's butts and go off to chase each other and fetch sticks and roll in smelly stuff and have fun. All you do is bark at each other, and never move on to the fun stuff. You people really need to get lives.

Well, okay, that's it for now. I'm sure somebody will leave a comment about this. But just remember, my name is Clara ... not Hitler.

As Bilbo would say, have a good day. He'll be back tomorrow with more of his own thoughts, and I'll be back whenever I can sneak into his study.



* I don't know who he is, but from how you all talk about him, he sounds like one of the few people I'd bite just on principle.


The Mistress of the Dark said...

Clara, most pitbulls I've encountered are super sweet, just like you :)

Duckbutt said...

Clara, I think pit bulls got a bad rap in the media.

You're a nice doggie.

eViL pOp TaRt said...

Clara looks so loveable!

Mike said...

It's good to have a dog around again isn't it?

Grand Crapaud said...

Clara is a fine dog, and good with kids.

Grand Crapaud said...

Clara is a fine dog, and good with kids.

Straight Up No Chaser said...

Hi Clara, I love Pit Bulls so you can come visit my dumb Labrador and talk to her PR team.

Don't kick Bilbo out of the bed!

So make you want a new dog Bilbo?!

The Bastard King of England said...

Clara is a real sweetie.

Wabbit said...

Clara, you can always come visit with my evil incarnate Rottweiler mix, Carl. People think he is bad too when they see him, but (don't tell him I told you this) he's afraid of Golden Retreivers! He's a big, mushy sweetie pie! He's only evil incarnate when he is taking my clothes out the dog door or removing his dad's clothes from the hamper so he can lick them and lay on them!